[blackice]

i needed to read this, it really explains a lot. can't wait to read the second part!

[limitless]

Thank you very much for posting this.

I, like others, look forward to reading part 2.

The depression could no longer be silenced, I finally hit rock bottom – I woke up one morning in my apartment looking at my sleeping affair partner with a fragmented memories from an alcohol induced fog from the night before.  In my hangover stupor I was suddenly struck by deep feelings of anxiety - I did not really know the person who lay beside me.  She was a stranger to me – she had been a welcomed distraction nothing more – once again I was struck by deep feelings of despair – only this time the despair was overwhelming and there was nowhere left to run – I was exhausted.

I have read the stories of other (recovered) MLCers - and never before have I read an explanation of how and what happened when the MLCer "woke up."  Most of the time, the MLCer is not able to describe it very well.

This is the first time I have read an account by an MLCer that describes the "aha" moment. 

I have always asked the question "How do they ever wake up?"  Probably the poor LBS that I have met and talked with are frustrated and tired of me asking that same question.  I just never could understand.  I didn't get how or why an MLCer would (after running away and escaping) - FINALLY WAKE UP and see that he/she really messed up.

This post explains it so clearly.  For those of you (including myself) who think that the OW (especially an OW who has been around for quite a while) - will somehow "work out".....this post clearly explains it.  He woke up with a complete stranger laying beside him. 

I get it now. 

She was a welcomed distraction and nothing more.  This really doesn't say much about the OW.   This screams VOLUMES about what the MLCer is feeling and thinking.  This person is of no importance.  A welcomed distraction and nothing more.

I truly appreciate this post and the insite that it brings.

L

[toomanytearss]

Thank you so much for posting this. 

[living with Hope]

Please write more.  This gives such insight.
If my husband never returns home at least maybe I can understand.  My heart was breaking as I was reading.  I can't imagine the pain and lonliness that you felt.

[windro]

Thank you so much for posting this - it humanizes the other side of this experience, for sure!  There ARE real people in those mlcers.  Lonely and afraid. 

[Learning strength]

Thank you to you and your friend for sharing this !

[calamity]

Thanks for sharing.

[Beautiful Heart]

Thank you!

[Positivity]

Thank you for sharing this.  We all must wonder what the viewpoint of our spouse is.  Looking forward to Part 2

[SSG]

Thank you for posting your friend's story, moment.

There is something to be said for the admiration of someone who does not really know you – your failures, your demons, your past – you can pretend to be someone else – it’s a fresh start – a blank slate to create a new more exciting life, a new more exciting you – it feels empowering. 

And this is why OW/OM is so alluring. A total strager (or someone from the past whith whom the MLCer has lost contact) that can be told whatever the MLCer wants and knows nothing about the MLCer.
 

Thank you so much moment...this helps so very many of us.  The statement above says it all!

SSG