[kikki]

From what many of us have witnessed and experienced, and the completely out of character behaviours, many tentatively liken high energy replay to being on the bipolar spectrum.
People experiencing bipolar mania can be hypersexual, and have very poor judgement and can spent a great deal of money etc.
Is it the same area/circuit/chemical balance that is not functioning well, as in bipolar mania, which manifests as very out of character replay behaviours? 
Is it possible to remain in this state for years? 

I have no idea, these are just questions that have been posed, given what some of us are dealing with, and how out of character it all is.

[Ready2Transform]

What is it that separates those people who suffer Midlife depression but do not go covert and those that do?  More and more i am beginning to think it goes to character.

I think we have a broad representation on this site of what falls under the umbrella of MLC.  It's my suspicion that some lean more to the side of choice, character, general dissatisfaction with life/wanting to try new things/search for "happy".  Then there are others who suffer from mood and personality disorders or addictions either resulting in or alongside the MLC that they may or may not seek treatment for.  Then the gray area that probably belongs to most of us.

I know my H sought treatment which only ramped things up, unfortunately.  I'll never know if it was the real cause or if the MLC would have happened regardless.  He knew he was dissociating and he was scared to death about it, and unfortunately is now a completely 180 of himself in every way - not just his morals or lifestyle, but drastic changes that you can't attribute to the affair partner, or even guilt, I think. 

I don't feel it's an excuse - having been diagnosed and treated for a mood disorder, I am joined with qualified professionals in believing something changed in my husband that he absolutely, at least at one time, was willing to undergo deep treatment to resolve.  I don't aim to sugar coat the experience, or lessen the effects of his cessation of treatment.  But having been through a transition myself, I know it is not something I purposely did to hurt myself or anyone around me. 

[lawprofessor]

Interesting discussion.

When J hit the serious actual depression stage, he was diagnosed as bipolar. 

Yes to hypersexual
Yes to poor decisions
Yes to spending money excessively
Yes to rarely sleeping
Yes to wild escapades
Yes to drinking, drugs, and literally more women then I can count
Yes to risky behavior

Now, as he has progressed, his doctor has been able to wean him down somewhat in his medication.  His physician is surprised by this.  At first we had trouble maintaining a high enough dose to lessen the mania. 

J was not bipolar as a child or teenager.  No signs were evident until around 40 of depression or mania.

As to the length of time, not to be a downer, but J was in Replay for about a 9 years crisis and manic for much of that.

I just don't know if the chemical imbalance was there and caused the MLC or if the MLC was exacerbated by the chemical imbalance.  In other words, I don't think the causal connection is clear in either direction.  I wish it were. 

J next doctor visit is not until the end of the year if all remains stable. 

[kikki]

I think we have a broad representation on this site of what falls under the umbrella of MLC.  It's my suspicion that some lean more to the side of choice, character, general dissatisfaction with life/wanting to try new things/search for "happy".  Then there are others who suffer from mood and personality disorders or addictions either resulting in or alongside the MLC that they may or may not seek treatment for.  Then the gray area that probably belongs to most of us.

I just don't know if the chemical imbalance was there and caused the MLC or if the MLC was exacerbated by the chemical imbalance.  In other words, I don't think the causal connection is clear in either direction.  I wish it were. 

Would agree completely

[Dagolark]

MAN I wish I could take a glimpse in my vanisher's life to know what the heck he's doing, if he's manic or what... not one of our common friends has been able to tell me anything because he's vanished on all of them. Tbh he always was the past few years, they've been calling him 'the vanisher' for 4 years at least.
...then again not really, I could look at his brand new fb page but I'm staying the hell away from that

[Blindsided again]

I swore my H was exhibiting some bipolar behavior, he is 46, his aunt told me never exhibited as a youngster, just hyperactive but his family has history of it. My psych dr said extremely rare to not exhibit any bipolar and suddenly develop in your 40's...who knows but my H cycles between downs and ups, at least from what I have been told only by S that works with him. H has completely cut off everyone that was in his life.

How could that not be some sort of chemical imbalance? You suddenly leave everyone and everything? I think yes hormones due to the age. I do think trauma somewhere early in life plays huge factor. I definitely know there is a disassociation.

I seen my primary dr tonight, told him what I could, he has known us for 16 yrs, he was dumbfounded, he kept saying, no way, no way. You two, H? You 2 always came together, etc. well if H keeps his appt. he is going to talk to him in a way that H will never know I talked to him...dr says just by my account def severe depression, mid life, and possible PTSD because of childhood.

So we will see. Definitely something is off with these MLCers , it's not normal.

[Pixiegirl]

Blindsided-
Your post could be my own H. Amazing.

[Anjae]

Bipolar is a mood disorder, it does not have to be there when one is a child, teenage or young adult. Like all mood disorder Bipolar can appear at any age (it is personality disorders that show when one is a child, teenager or young adult). This said, my very wallower cousin, when he had his MLC, was diagnosed with everything from schizophrenia to psychotic passing to borderline. Then, when my cousin hit rock bottom, my friend who is a psychiatrist said he could be bipolar. Could be. If he would not react to treatment within two years and after treatment keep having mania and depression episodes, bipolar would be it. Within two years he was much better and even if he has not fully returned to his older self, he is not bipolar.

Doctors can have a hard time separating MLC from other mental/neurological disorders. By the way, here, in my town Faculty of Medicine they have mental illness under neurosciences. The department is called Departamento de Neurociências Clínicas e Saúde Mental – Clinical Neuroscience and Mental Health Department. They use both and they know mental illness is in the brain, therefore it is part of neuroscience. Of course that then they have subdivision, like psychiatry and neurology, but the first is part of the second.

I don't know Moment. Do you think mental illness, or neurological illness, or addiction, is just an excuse for bad behaviour? Do you know/understand the mechanism at work in those conditions and what they do to brain and body? Mental illness, neurological illness, addiction had nothing to do with character. It has to do with the way body and brain are wired and/or the alterations they suffered. Of course mental illness, neurological illness and addiction alter character. They tamper everything inside a person.

Is it an excuse? No, it is a cause. There is a difference. Paedophilia is a neurological disorder. It has to do with a wrong wiring of brain circuits. Does it excuse the behaviour? No, but it explains it, those who suffer from it cannot (until science is more advanced) revert their brains wrong wiring.

They make a choice. Or did they? They way I see it is, they are depressed. Depression alters perception and reality, sometimes to the point of leading something to take their own life. MLCer get OW/OM (or any other thing that provide a high): The high makes them feel good (for a while), but it also changes their brains. Next thing they know they are addict to the high. From then on it is like all other addiction, including nicotine or caffeine.

For me it is stress, the imbalanced hormone cortisol, that leads to the mania, replay, MLC. Add to hit the rush of adrenaline (and people do get addict to adrenaline) provided by OW/OM or their drug of choice, add further, now all levels, hormonal, brain chemicals as well as the brain electric part is becoming unbalanced. And there are also those who may have thyroid problems (thyroid issues can also have mania), low testosterone, and we are dealing with a lethal cocktail of madness.

Also, don't forget many MLCer start to use alcohol (or other drugs, but alcohol seems to be the main one). Alcohol provokes all sorts of damages and changes in brain and body as well as in personality.

In my current course we are learning the effects of drugs and alcohol (who is also a drug but tends to be separate from the other ones) on brain, body and personality. Especially on older adults and well as in adults over 40. It is not pretty.

[calamity]

They make a choice. Or did they? They way I see it is, they are depressed. Depression alters perception and reality, sometimes to the point of leading something to take their own life. MLCer get OW/OM (or any other thing that provide a high): The high makes them feel good (for a while), but it also changes their brains. Next thing they know they are addict to the high. From then on it is like all other addiction, including nicotine or caffeine.

Yes.

From my experience, people I have known, mlc resembles manic depression [now called bipolar?] more than any other mental 'condition'.  If so, no I wouldn't say a mlcer was responsible for his/her behaviour.

We have discussed this before [when I still cared what it was that was driving my h  ].  Most people on here believe that a mlc is rooted in childhood experiences.  The usual conclusion is that mlc is a perfect storm.  A disgusting brew of issues & chemicals & other body secretions is more like it.     

I hope that made sense. Speaking of chemistry, I took an ativan this evening [contact with the xxxh]. Nope, not pretty.

In my current course we are learning the effects of drugs and alcohol (who is also a drug but tends to be separate from the other ones) on brain, body and personality. Especially on older adults and well as in adults over 40. It is not pretty.

[a]

Hi All and Anjae

Thank you for your replies was just asking to get opinions.  I do understand brain chemistry the example i used to help me understand is post partem depression that a mother who would naturally be loving towards her baby could even consider killing her/him goes to dysfunction.  I guess my question was more to the degree of behavior due to messed up brain chemistry.  In other words what makes one mother experiencing post partem depression recognize that things are not normal and seeks help and the mother who actually land up hurting her baby.

What separates those MLCer's who choose to destroy everything and those who recognize something is off?  What is it that separates the person who is experiencing a chemical abnormality yet has the consciousness to recognize it and the person experiencing a similar imbalance succumbing to the chemical imbalance with very little awareness that anything is wrong?


take care
moment