[nah]

Back of the shoulder always stays tight.... I have a blue rose 

[Dji76]

I have 2, both related to times with my w. I will be getting  a 3rd regardless of the outcome. Sometimes you have to make your scars visable. Thank goodness I never liked name tats!

[Medusa]

My whisk is on my ankle. I will never be embarassed by it because its for my mom. And I think I'm pretty safe that my ankles will never get that fat!

lol I wonder what there is about tattoo's and LBS's.  The only reason I do not have a Māori upper arm band, was the lady I was going to go with, didn't turn up.  My self esteem and confidence were so low at that time, that I hung around the tattoo shop for a couple hours looking at the pictures, but could not work up the nerve to TALK to the person on the desk.  Crazy eh?  I became this extremely "shy" introvert, for several months after BD.  Never been shy in my life...    Looking back ... it still makes me sad!  Man, I want to look within myself simply to try and figure out what in the world caused that? 

I think tats are just more popular and accepted, now. I never thought I would get one, but when my D wanted us to get identical ones for Mom, I couldn't say no.

As far as becoming introverted, I think because we are so hurt and have been told we are unworthy that we really doubt ourselves for awhile. I know I did. I'm naturally pretty gregarious, but the devastation of BD did a real number on me. I was scared to do much of anything. It was a huge deal for me to go to a movie by myself. I just knew everyone was judging me as that poor lady who had to go alone. Same with taking myself out for dinner. Never bothered me when I was traveling for business, but OMG, doing it in the town where I live where someone I know might see me? Horrors! My confidence was gone, and it took awhile to rebuild it.

BTW, I, not saying that introverts lack confidence. True introverts versus temporary introversion (is that a word?) are two different animals for me.

[Treasure]

Attaching.
It's funny I was thinking of getting a tattoo too but I'm too scared of the pain lol
A lovely butterfly of some description because from the chrysalis comes a beautiful butterfly. ( eventually i hope lol ) x

[Anjae]

I like

Shatering
Internalizing
Lifting

Suffering gives me the idea that whole stage, that tends to be a rather long one, is 
nothing but suffering. MLC is a little different than just grief. Internalizing allows 
for it all, the suffering, the acceptance, the joy that we also have during such 
phase.

Perhaps you are waiting for your divorce to CONFIRM resolution?  You are a very pragmatic thinker, this would make sense to me, that once the divorce is complete, you will have your resolution and be able to move on with your life.  Hopefully, starting new relationship and life.

Yes, I think so. Even if the divorce is just a legal formality that needs to be done.  Maybe it is more the fact that I have no idea when it will happen? And maybe a new  relationship will come along before the divorce is final. It is sort of "on the air".

Perhaps I should define how I see the expression MOVING ON.  To me, that expression simply means healing, recovering, able to have a life.  Able to view life with enthusiasm and eagerness.  It did not mean, able to find a new partner.  The idea of a new partner terrified me, although I refused to take ANYTHING off the table.

Agree, moving on for me also means healing, recovering, able to have a live. A new relationship is not a mandatory part of moving on. For some it will include someone new, for others it will not. The idea of finding a new partner never terrified me.  Quite the contrary, it was a very fascinating and interesting idea. And I did find  partners, but only for a short time. Maybe that was all it was needed at the time.

No tattoos for me. I like inkless skin, even if I have nothing against people having tattoos. Mr J talked about doing a tattoo but I have no idea if he had or had not done it.

I become and über extroverted. I was the party girl and the super social creature. Introverts, at least speaking for myself, do not lack confidence, it is just that we tend to be more cerebral and process things quietly. But like everyone else I have both side, introvert and extrovert. But if anything they have become more balanced.

[stayed]

I agree, a true introvert is not boring or uncommunicative.  They tend to communicate when they have something they want to say. They are selective about who they share their company and words with.  Nothing wrong with that.  The thing is, I had never been even slightly introverted or shy... ever.  I guess a better way to describe myself at that time, would TIMID/AFRAID. 

It was a good thing I went away, because I couldn't hide away in New Zealand, there was nobody to talk, or get things for me.  I think most of us subconsciously know what we need to do for ourselves. 

Weird...hugs Stayed

[Medusa]

I become and über extroverted. I was the party girl and the super social creature.

According to my IC, its vey normal for this kind of thing to happen when relationships end, especially long ones. Once I got through my hiding period, I went a bit nuts...out until all hours. That lasted a few months and then I just settled down. It was part of the process of learning to be alone. For awhile I couldn't stand it. I work from home and and am alone much of the day.

I think most of us subconsciously know what we need to do for ourselves. 

Agreed, even if we don't realize it at the time. I think its part of the initial healing process. For me, I had to relearn how to laugh. No way I was going to be able to do that staring at the TV or reading a book...I need the distraction of other human beings in a social setting. The only thing I was conscious of was that I needed to be around human beings other than S20.

[Anjae]

Yes, introverts talk about what they have in interest to and are selective about who we share our company and words with. But we can be big talkies and we are fun. Out I notice is that even in the height of my super social creature mode I always needed some time on my own.

But those were excellent times for me. I got to interact with many people with many different backgrounds, do lots of things I had not done before. All good, all living and learning.

I think most of us subconsciously know what we need to do for ourselves. 

Agree.

According to my IC, its vey normal for this kind of thing to happen when relationships end, especially long ones. Once I got through my hiding period, I went a bit nuts...out until all hours.

Yes, I think it is a common thing for people in long relationships.
I didn’t have the initial hiding period, it was straight to out until the wee hours, sometimes 7 days a week. That period of extra exuberance is probably necessary for our development.

Later it was not so much hiding but a need to be on my own. I like solitude, I’m fine reading a book, gazing at the stars, going for a walk alone, watch a movie of a tv series on my own.

But now I need to start incorporating a little bit of the über extrovert. Not to that extent, of course, just a little bit.

[Medusa]

Yes, introverts talk about what they have in interest to and are selective about who we share our company and words with. But we can be big talkies and we are fun. Out I notice is that even in the height of my super social creature mode I always needed some time on my own.

I have come to love introverts. S20 is one, and when he talks, he is so darn interesting! The man I'm married to is also one, and once he is comfortable, you can't shut him up, I told him, long before BD that when he's in a social situation is finally is comfortable, he's as bad as my dad, who is the classic extrovert. I got the most beautiful grin...almost makes me miss that guy!

When I was transitioning from the need to be out all the time to balance, I did days of watching various BBC costume dramas. I got mad when I ran out of them. I didn't read for about a year. It's just been in the last few months that I've rediscovered that particular passion.

I do think we need to go through a crazy time to rediscover ourselves, no matter if we are introverts or extroverts. It seems to be part of our personal development.

[Anjae]

I do think we need to go through a crazy time to rediscover ourselves, no matter if we are introverts or extroverts. It seems to be part of our personal development.

Indeed. And the same is true of our MLCers. The difference is they take forever to transition and integrate the parts.

The real Mr J is, I think, a little less introverted than me, but he is more shy. He is also more emotional, anxious and more creative than me, I'm more analytical/logical.

All in all we were a good match. Until, of course, MLC insany come knowking on the door.