[blackice]

when h told me he was moving out i would just say whatever i wanted to complete strangers. don't ask me how my day is cause i was going to tell you lol my daughter could not stop laughing. i still do that sometimes. i did it once when h was with me. it was funny to watch him squirm for a bit.

i went out a few times but i was never really one for going out like that much. i just stopped doing things i really liked to do. i stopped beading, painting, watching my shows. i just stopped. then i got tired of being in that space and i am doing things again. i am going to start reading again too. haven't read in a long time.

[stayed]

I never told anybody other then my kids, my mother and my siblings, until just before he returned actually.  A friend of ours, dropped dead from a massive heart attack.  Horrific experience, 54 years old, had retired from the military a couple of years prior to that, was doing consultancy work and a contract job with the government.  His wife had just completed her Teaching Degree.  They were really enjoying their life.  Their only child was in her 2nd year of University.  Big as life type of guy, so much fun, real zest for life.  GONE! 

My h was here in Luxembourg, so did not attend.  I went to the wake, to his funeral and to his huge memorial held for him at the Military hanger.  Hundreds of people there.  Saw people I hadn't seen in years.  This was approximately 9 months after BD.

That was the first time it ever passed my lips.  "My husband has left me"!  I kept the tears back, somehow!  It was awful, most of the people I told simply had no idea what to say.  I guess I should have chose a different place to come out about my situation.  To their credit, they didn't ask any questions.  They expressed their amazement.  Not one of them ran away from me... hehehe.  I'm sure they desperately wanted to.  The floodgates opened up after that. 

I was looking at the Stages, could it be part of trying to get past the "denial"?  Convincing ourselves that this was INDEED happening? 

Hugs Stayed

[nah]

when h told me he was moving out i would just say whatever i wanted to complete strangers. don't ask me how my day is cause i was going to tell you

hahaha...love it!!

it was funny to watch him squirm for a bit.

A few months ago we had to meet at the sprint store to change the kids bills to his account (hey, their adults, I'm not paying...lol) anyways he couldn't remember his password and he wrote his favorite hobby but couldn't remember that either     We both guessed "hockey?" wrong.  "music?" wrong.  "motorcycling?" wrong.

I so so so wanted to say "sleeping with young girls??"  It was on the tip of my tongue lol

At that point I wanted to build his confidence for a good relationship so I didn't.   

It would have been funny, though, still laughing thinking about it.

[Medusa]

I so so so wanted to say "sleeping with young girls??"  It was on the tip of my tongue lol

Priceless!

The talking to everyone phase is probably following on from the rejection phase  suggested. It's a way of checking that we are real and the need for human contact is so essential for our emotional survival.

...

So I think I have moved from extrovert actions to more thoughtful ones. I am more introverted in some ways and perhaps always was but compensated because of my low self esteem.  It is not possible to switch fully from introvert to extrovert and vice versa.

Perhaps this movement from talking to not talking is part of the phase of LBS journey because we are learning to reflect and consider our true selves. It is also an indication of the passage of time in this process and part of our understanding of detachment.

I like this idea of checking that we are reaching out to other human beings for our emotional needs.

Like you, S&D, I'm finding a balance between introvert and extrovert. By nature I'm more extroverted, but I have become much more thoughtful and am definitely a better laid tenet than I used to be.

[living with Hope]

Nah,
that made me laugh out loud.

I think our kids go through stages just as we do. My children have gone through their processing a lot faster than I have I think. One child keeps returning through them.  He is more like me that way so I understand why he has not processed this as fast as his siblings.

I have 3 children.  One is at the detatched stage.  One is flip flopping between detaching and wanting him home and the other one is stuck in wanting/anger.  It is a mild anger right now. Thankfully.  He has had full blown anger and it is usually directed at me.  It is hard to say what degree is normal teenage behaviour and what has been brought on by the lovely MLC.

I would say that I keep returning to different stages as my husband's behaviour escalated or subsided.  I don't think I have ever completed a full stage. I have never entered the anger stage at all.  That scares me. 

[Thunder]

blackice,

You made me laugh.  I was the same way.  Even my dentist knew all about my life.  LOL
Now I keep it to myself but back in the beginning I told everyone....didn't matter if they asked or not.   

Funny thing was when I told the cashier at a liquor store she was going through the same thing.  We talked for an hour comparing notes.  She had never heard of MLC and was shocked when I asked questions about her H and hit things perfectly.
This is bigger than we know. 

[stayed]

This is giving me a lot of giggles! 

But yea, MLC is everywhere!  I think it's an epidemic!  I really wonder what the country is going to do, when it starts COSTING a fortune, because I do think there are going to be some heavy expenses attached to this.  Just like smoking/drugs/obesity/aids.

The governments, medical society etc. will stick their heads in the sand until they can't ignore it anymore.  Of course they will wait until it is rampant and way out of control.  Stupid!  You really would think we would learn, wouldn't you?

Hugs Stayed

[blackice]

i was at the dollar store and the cashier was asking about my day and i just kind of made a noise and she goes bad day huh? i looked at her and said, bad month, bad year, bad life, you choose. my husband just left me for a fetus.

yeah.

me and h were at the store and he was getting me a membership card in my name since ow never activated her so he gave me hers instead and the woman was asking what was going on and i looked at him then i looked at her and i said well, you really don't want to know. let's just say i am not the girlfriend and this story is better than days of our lives. to which he just stood there and mumbled yeah, you don't want to know.

i don't let him get away with it. it's fun sometimes.

[stayed]

LMAOL here in Luxembourg!  Omg!!  Love that! 

hugs Stayed

[nah]

i don't let him get away with it. it's fun sometimes.

I wish normal husband was around just so we could make fun of MLC husband, he more than anybody would think this new guy is a complete tool.