[Slow Fade]

Adnyl I'm so sorry for your situation. I can't even imagine.

That being said, I have some friends in the same situation who reconciled and are parenting the affair child. It hasn't been easy for them, but they are doing very well and she loves the child as well. It is possible.........

[Sunny]

For a long time I thought I was the only one whose spouse has gone on to have a baby with OW. I've noticed there are a few others so thought I'd create a space to talk about it and how this impacts on you.

H did call me about OW expecting and it devastated me because I wasn't able to have children and had endured years of fertility treatment. I know they were about to break up when poof! Suddenly OW was pregnant! Not even totally sure of is H's. Have suggested paternity test but he has ignored that. Baby looks nothing like him or his side of the family. I have not met the baby but his family have, only recently. Baby is 15 months old now. OW doesn't work but wants baby in a crèche full time - says everything! H told me she complains about the baby bt in fact he is very good natured.

So what are your experiences?

- did your MLCer tell you or did you hear from others?
- has your MLCer introduced the baby to you?
- how has it affected you?
- how has it affected your children?
- has it affected your stand?

[maomina]

Heyyyy my ex as well has a baby with ow !! He never told me about her being pregnant , in fact he told his family when she was already six months pregnant !!!! Sil and I found out on our own when ex monstered out with everyone and friends of ours saw them at hospital!!
 I don't believe ex was happy about it , he too had said that he wanted to leave ow. Ow said that it was an accident as she took antibiotics and did not know that pill did not work with antibiotics! I don't believe her but it takes two to tango anyway!
Ex was a monster for quiet a while but than he made the desicion to leave the country and go to ow s motherland justifying himself with the usual lies!!
He now barely calls but all I know is that he s not having it easy ! Whilst there he broke both his arms and baby was born with complications ! He is now giving all his attention to his new family and seems to be acting responsibly towards ow and baby!

[blackice]

yes my h told me as soon as he found out about it. they were about to break up as well and then boom she's pregnant. we discuss the baby situation quite often. he didn't want to have another kid. he didn't agree to having one with her. he thought she was still on birth control. she uses it to guilt him into staying, she wanted a girl but they are having a boy and she doesn't take very good care of herself. I've told him to not sign anything and get a DNA test to protect himself.

[maomina]

Wow blackice , the fact he told you as soon as he found out , means he still trusts you!!!!!
 I too believe exh did not want baby cause of his reaction he just monstered out toward everything and everyone apart from ow!
 I did confront him and told him that we all know that this is not what he wanted and he admitted so! I do believe that he wanted to tell me but couldnot ! Why i don't know.
 Ow was very careless during the pregnancy she did not eat well , was riding on their motorino , jumping in the sea , basically just acting like a teen! It did not come as a surprise when the baby was born with complications in her heart.
When the baby was very bad he sent me a text saying: you know I'm feeling guilty cause I was holding back from baby cause I was not giving attention to our d and s! Translation he was blaming the kids indirectly cause he felt nothing for the baby. What's he done about it?? He is now totally ignoring d and s , even more than he was ,and giving all his attention to the little one and focusing on his new family.
 Up till now I am still standing but I am doing so for my kids and for my own healing! I do believe that these ow s are very manipulative and masters at getting what they want! When I was 21it would never have crossed my mind to get pregnant in order to trap someone!

[Adnyl]

My Ex is thrilled about their baby. In fact he told me he loves OW & intends on marrying her. In fact I think they are engaged even though our divorce is nowhere near being final.

I am not doing well at all. He left me & has the home, the woman, the baby AND the love, acceptance & support of our S22 & D18. They are so happy to see their father happy.

H never told me about the OW pregnancy or the baby, neither did my children. As far as they are all concerned he filed for divorce, our marriage is over, it's none of my business what he does AND I need to move on. I found out about the baby from a bar owner/ mutual friend.

[grace2713]

My friend who has gone through MLC, has had an affair child with OW.  He's now back with his wife and just supports the affair child through friends.  He doesn't interact with ex-OW anymore.

I have asked his wife how she handles this: she said the baby isn't her problem.  Given that answer, I think she's already assured of her current relationship with her husband.  Her husband was gone two years, waited for OW to give birth, then went back to his family.  He was a clinging boomerang then.

[Adnyl]

I love to hear the success stories. I pray a lot that we are one of them. I'd be more than happy to help raise that beautiful blessing. It isn't her fault. I believe the OW who has never been married & lived w her parents saw this as the way out of her house & have it all. I have truly been replaced. My kids tell me she is sweet & they are a real family. No regrets, no second thoughts....just me left behind.

[blackice]

I have a feeling that's how.mine will happen if h comes back
 he doesn't want to have anything to do with the baby or the ow if he leaves. it's sad it comes to that and these kids get caught up in all this.

[Adnyl]

Does my H REALLY love the OW? He told my S22 & D19 he does & will marry her some day. That along w a newborn?