[MyBrainIsBroken]

I'm with MeNow 100%.

[elray]

Just so I'm clear-- it's the sport of pursuit and the thrill of the chase that precludes this?

Because I'm fairly certain there are available low quality women who require very little gamesmanship.  And I might add a much higher chance of disease vs protected sex with regularly tested pro.

 And if we are talking about high quality women then I return to the point about hurting others along the way.  Which seems rather unsportsmanlike like to me.

Have any of you spent a night at a strip club?  And feel that's ok?  Because that's wetting the base appetite need..requires no skill.. And As the cost of a few lap dances cover and drinks is about the cost of an escort and you aren't a frustrated chump at the end of the night I would argue the escort is a bargain transaction compared to a strip club.

[MyBrainIsBroken]

So what you're saying, Elray, is that hiring a prostitute will improve my ability to stand which for me, like many on here, means eventually reconciling with my spouse. Are you sure you're not going through an MLC yourself? This definitely sounds like MLC "logic".   

[Thundarr]

Wow.  Just......wow.

[elray]

I sound crazy without your help putting words in my mouth.

I'm saying a new R with a new woman retards your emotional recovery, and hurts your stand, and could get another person hurt.

I'm also saying as a gender men have a harder time giving up sex for a long period of time.

Do you agree? ( you didn't answer the strip club point)

Given all that, why does everyone discard this option as an indecent proposal?

[MyBrainIsBroken]

I'm sorry, it sounds like you're actually serious about this. I thought it was some kind of a weird joke.

Given all that, why does everyone discard this option as an indecent proposal?

I don't know how everybody feels but my belief is that it's illegal, immoral, and reprehensible. And it is an indecent proposal.

[Rollercoasterider]

I have stayed away from this thread until now, but this needs a response--though you guys are doing a great job responding as well,

...We are men not monks

Why not purchase an escort?

It's widely available, and not prohibitively expensive.

Did you really just suggest purchasing another human being--and then refer to said human as it's?

Um... I know some would rather I may not be so crass....but come on, I'm sure you know how to take the matter into your own hands.

It seems morally defensible

How is human trafficking morally defensible? The women (and men) in such situations are not necessarily there by choice and even those that are may not be in escorting because they like the job, rather they may be feeding a drug habit or are in some other situation where though they are technically choosing the life, they don't see an alternative and may still be feeling forced. You can call them escorts, but call it what it is: prostitution and it objectifies the prostitute--regardless of their gender.

Because I'm fairly certain there are available low quality women who require very little gamesmanship.  And I might add a much higher chance of disease vs protected sex with regularly tested pro.

And if we are talking about high quality women then I return to the point about hurting others along the way.  Which seems rather unsportsmanlike like to me.

Woman are not sperm receptacles and all women are high quality as are all men. There are not any who are worth more or less than others. If you objectify and disrespect one person or one type of person, it makes it easier to objectify and disrespect another. It's all unsporting conduct.

Part of Standing for your marriage--part that is about Standing for you--is about being married even while your spouse is trying to not be married and that means keeping your vows. It doesn't matter who left and who had extramarital sex first, sex with someone other than your spouse is adultery--even if it is not infidelity or cheating--so at least for the Standers who are religious in one of the Judeo-Christian faiths, any extramarital sex is out.

Hey, you can Stand however you choose, but this website is about marital preservation, not supporting or even condoning extramarital sex and especially not supporting or condoning sex trafficking.

[Thundarr]

Once again.....wow.

[elray]

To clarify a few things:

First, On the quote about low value women, I feel equally about men.  There are men and women who I would not want a relationship with.  Didn't feel it was needed at the time I made that reference to clarify its not a gender thing.

Secondly I explicitly excluded religious views at the top.  In my view sin is sin (adultery or prostitution) and does corrosive damage to the sinner but sin is morally worse when it hurts others.

Third, I agree with RCR  that the optimal way to stand involves no third parties but several responders to this thread of conversation are, in their personal threads discussing loneliness and seeking romantic companionship.

My motivations behind this topic was to examine that point in a stand where youbstartbgoing wobbly.  It is an intellectual interest. I'm not personally at that point right now but I have come close to dating several times.

In her response, RCR clearly indicating a heirarchy, consistent with everyone else.  Another consenting woman is bad but paying for sex is worse.   It's that hierarchy I am intrigued by. 

Someone said that in a reconciliation point a pro would be harder to explain than an emotional entanglement--a true affair.  I strongly disagree with the realities of that statement.  In fact I would argue that most would explain it away by equating it- it was just sex--I was lonely.

Ultimately RCR its your site and if a topic is verboten we can drop it.

[Dji76]

Perhaps if u have reached the point where u are considering an escort it's time to evaluate your stand. I'm not judging but maybe it's time to move on in a more healthy manner. Or maybe u tell your wife what your considering? As lbs we would have all appreciated a heads up from our spouses before they got to the point having their affair. My guess is she would do one of three things:
1. Be shocked enough to actually start working on things.
2. Give you the "all clear" because she doesn't care.
3. Tell u it's a deal breaker but do nothing to work on the marriage.

You could probably draw some pretty good insight into her thinking and motivation for staying married based on her reaction. I'm not suggesting u tell her expecting a specific reaction. I also don't see how stepping outside the marriage is constructive to saving it.
Finally, my initial "thrill of the chase" comment was coming from the perspective of someone who has initiated a divorce. I will stand until the end of the marriage but perhaps I was looking ahead given my situation rather than applying your question to someone still standing with no end in sight.