[kikki]

Ready2 alerted me to the fact that John Gray (men are from mars) has a new book out and was giving away free starter guides to the book (e-version).
Couldn't believe my eyes when I read page 77 as he mentions mid life crisis, and the steps that he believes happen to get there.
Starts with something called Oxidative stress, and as I have always suspected, ends in dementia including alzheimers and parkinsons, to name a few things (if left untreated).

In the book he outlines the reasons he believes the Oxidative process occurs, and how to rectify it. (researched based).

An excerpt below, and here's the link to his website to get a copy of the book.
http://www.marsvenus.com/


The Many Stages of ADHD

Throughout life our brain continues to grow and develop. Complex
brain changes continue into old age, which reflect our degrees of maturity.
At every stage of life, ADHD interferes with our normal development and
the expression of our inner potential for success, happiness, love and good
health.
Let’s take a brief overview of the new challenges caused by ADHD at
six major stages of brain development and maturity:

Stage 1. Children experience different degrees of trauma related to
learning, behavior and social challenges. The inability to excel in the
classroom or form supportive friendships can seriously limit one’s
happiness, self-image and self-esteem along with his or her ability to trust.

Stage 2. Teens experience new social challenges including isolation,
bullying, body image, obesity and addictions. While violence and video
addiction is increasing in boys, girls are experiencing more body image
problems and bullying. Boys experience late puberty and girls experience
early puberty.

Stage 3. Young adults experience increasing degrees of depression
and anxiety and commonly return home after college to live with their
parents. More young men and women are unwilling to make lasting
commitments in intimate relationships. Divorce continues to be high,
shorter relationships are the norm and there are now twice as many single
people.

Stage 4. Adults experience an increasing inability to manage stress
levels, which in turn leads to dissatisfaction in relationships, overwhelm,
exhaustion and divorce.

Stage 5. At midlife, aging adults face some version of the “midlife
crisis” which includes boredom in relationships, depression based on
regret, and/or boredom with work and a longing to quit and retire.


Stage 6. Elders today experience unprecedented levels of modern
diseases that were previously not common including diabetes, heart
disease, cancer, Parkinson’s disease, dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.
All of these challenges arise from the same condition that gives rise
to ADHD but go unrecognized as such.

previous thread: http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1786.0

other neuroscience/neurochemestry threads:

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1522.0

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=3669.0

[Ready2Transform]

Thank you so much kikki for posting that!  I know we have brought John Gray to this thread before, and I really can't say enough about his description of hormone and neurotransmitter research for us lay folk (and I was not a fan of his before, but it all won me over).  Highly recommend the download of this book for insight into both this MLC process AND for a great GAL book, too.

[Snowdrop]

So interesting.  I remember writing(or thinking ) on here about things that seemed to be brought up often by LBS's, and one of those things was ADHD, that and military service, addictions, etc.  My H was all of the above and so much more....

The other thing is that many are/were workaholics, which my H was, and which I put down to him finally finding his niche and after all the years of rejection and failing (due to ADD/ADHD - never treated or investigated), all of a sudden he found his passion and something he was good at, and which attracted much attention from peers and industry and many pats on the back.  It became the place where he was praised due to his talents and ability to fix things.  In contrast, at home he didn't get put on a pedestal like he was at work, so he saw that as us not caring.  He would go from high when he was at work to low when he got home, although he worked long hours in his home office too, and away from everyone else - another addiction followed by online games to "relax", another addiction which isolated him from his family.  Just before BD he was working so much and I could see his exhaustion but he ignored my suggestions to take a break. 

Starts with something called Oxidative stress, and as I have always suspected, ends in dementia including alzheimers and parkinsons, to name a few things (if left untreated).

 
How very sad.  What a dreadful existence if they have lived such a life and through no fault of their own, spent their lives dealing with challenge after challenge, only to experience MLC and possible dementia.  Heartbreaking.

My apologies if I am off topic.

[kikki]

I couldn't believe how many conditions we LBS have noted, that are mentioned in this book either Snowdrop.

On page 16 of the book it mentions the workaholism.

For married men, an unrecognized symptom of ADHD is the gradual
shift of focus from their intimate relationship to their work. Their partners
often feel ignored, unappreciated and excluded. ADHD may cause a man
to have a kind of tunnel vision or hyper-focus on his work, which in turn
decreases his ability to focus on his wife and family.

How very sad.  What a dreadful existence if they have lived such a life and through no fault of their own, spent their lives dealing with challenge after challenge, only to experience MLC and possible dementia.  Heartbreaking.

My apologies if I am off topic.

Not off topic at all
It is incredibly sad, and is why many of us have felt quite passionately about finding the medical reason for MLC.  We just knew by looking at our MLCers that something seriously had gone wrong in their brains, for them to be behaving in this way.

If the reason is found, then hopefully word can get out there, and this destructive crisis can be halted or mitigated before the worst occurs.  That is my hope for the future.

[Snowdrop]

Just did a big reply and lost it

Will try and make this brief.

Was looking at ADHD for S and reading how they often hyper-focus on one thing ie video games, and can play them over and over again yet have problems focusing on day to day things.

H had problems in school which were put down as him being inattentive, lazy, disruptive etc., and he was always berated for it as a child and not supported.  Back then it was common to be seen as "that" kid and thought of being "bad".

As he got older, he found his passion in work and it became his identity.  I used to say to him that he got his identity from him job.  That is what he loved to do and got praised for doing.  I was independent and coped very well at home, and he was a good fun dad but not too capable of offering help with decision making or discussing the kids.  Nothing in depth at all, but would do surface fun stuff.  Of course on his time off. he would be happy at first and then his need to work would be right back and if he couldn't do that he would go and play his video games ad nauseum.

Me being able to manage and run things without needing his input was good, but over time I got used to not even talking to him about things anymore as what was the point, I had 30 seconds before he started walking away or getting distracted.  I told him that once and he laughed.

Before BD he was exhausted and kept working, never turning down new jobs.  I think he found something he could excel in, which was his work, after being told his whole life he was "stupid", but there was no balance.  He had no friends (told me I was the reason for that), just worked and came home.  Work and exhaustion caught up with him and he snapped.....BD!!  I see it like a taught elastic which has being pulled and pulled and doing a great job and then snap, nothing.

I think H was that band and had that snap, and then wanted to get back to being taught and can't, so seeking other highs to replace what he had. 

I wonder if he will ever come out of it.  I don't see him ever coming home or even wanting to.  He has moved to a nicer climate and way of life, then again I always have to remember that even when people with addictions seek geographical changes as a solution, they only last so long, as the problems went along with them.

It seems that only at rock bottom or acute pain will they seek help as hard to see when you are living the high life and any problems are everyone else's fault.  Blaming was always huge for H, he would never take responsibility.

Maybe that is why they seek needy OPs as they are Disney Dates with no depth, and they give all the praise once given by co-workers, but not at home.  After 20+ years of being together, no I didn't put him on the pedestal he wanted (or maybe needed) to be on.  He was loved and knew I had his back.  During his visit just after meeting OW when he couldn't stop talking about her/them, I told him I loved him and he said, "Oh, why didn't you tell me that".

Makes a lot of sense how he hit a wall, felt unappreciated at home, then found someone who thought he was great and enjoyed all that he had to give.  I told the kids that dad isn't good for our family right now, but his new wife might be just right for him.  You know, in a way, as long as they don't interfere with us and he gets his cr@p together re supporting us financially, he can carry on and live however he chooses.

Breaks my heart to think that after all this might come dementia or parkinson's.  If that is the case then I hope he goes for it and has the best time in replay that he can, and then some...

[calamity]

I'm not too sure John Gray has the science to back up what he claims.  Also ADHD is recognized to be way over diagnosed.  Children in pre-teen & teen years are being prescribed drugs much less now as it seems ADHD might be a developmental stage rather than a condition.

[Snowdrop]

I haven't read the book, so can't say anything regarding what he says.  I have always wondered if there is a connection with H and his life up until BD, with his behaviour since.

Also ADHD is recognized to be way over diagnosed.  Children in pre-teen & teen years are being prescribed drugs much less now as it seems ADHD might be a developmental stage rather than a condition.

Agreed with it being over diagnosed.  A teacher at my son's school who observed him literally for 20 minutes said he should be on medication.  Another teacher made a bold statement and said "he has epilepsy".  New school and a little older and we have heard nothing from teachers about anything being wrong.  Great to read that you said it might be a stage.  Very comforting to me.

[kikki]

I guess with all 'disorders', there are going to be many theories and ideas and approaches.
This is just one possibility, and I'm open to hearing about them all.
His book is littered with research, but I haven't read the studies themselves, but he does claim to have the science. 
I think it's a rapidly developing area, and this information is coming from many angles and is being used to treat inflammation and stress in all body areas, not just the brain.

We certainly are living different lives than our grandparents.

Guess we'll all just have to wait patiently while the knowledge of the future reveals itself.

[Anjae]

I'm not too sure John Gray has the science to back up what he claims.  Also ADHD is recognized to be way over diagnosed.  Children in pre-teen & teen years are being prescribed drugs much less now as it seems ADHD might be a developmental stage rather than a condition.

Also do not think he has the science to back up what he claims. And some of his advise for supplements, etc. are dangerous. And they are also advertise for his company. He is on the business of selling books, supplements, and so on, not exactly on the neuroscience camp.

ADHD is, I think, in many cases nothing more than children's and adolescents normal energy without an outlet.

And nor he, not anyone can claim that things like Alzheimer's, Parkinson, Heart Attacks, ADHD, mental illness, cancer, are higher now than in the past. In the past many people died very early and often the cause was not known. Alzheimer's (and other dementia) was called senility, there was not as much information as it is now,  many people never saw a doctor in their lives.

Also, diets were, in many case, very poor in the past. Are our diets another sort of poor these days? Often, yes. But not until that long ago, many in western countries had poor diets. Just think of working class 1970's Britain and you get the idea.

In the past people would die of syphilis, tuberculosis, malnutrition, women giving birth and they would not live as long as we do.

As for the ADHD and MLC and MLC and Alzheimer's and Parkinson's I don't really see the correlation.

For oxidative stress and antioxidants as supplements see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxidative_stress#Antioxidants_as_supplements  (I know, wiki, but wiki is actually pretty good when it comes to neuroscience. So good that it is often used in the courses I took).

Stage 5. At midlife, aging adults face some version of the “midlife
crisis” which includes boredom in relationships, depression based on
regret, and/or boredom with work and a longing to quit and retire.

Does a 35/36/37 years old person is na aging adult? Or is an adult of the Stage 4? Several MLCers are not aging adults in the sense he is giving to it, yet, they are having a MLC. Clearly, if is not an issue simply of the aging adult, but also of the adult.

The stess MLCers are full of is the one that comes from cortisol. That, for me, plus other hormonal imbalances, is the cause of MLC.

Not MLC related, but related to gluten free food. One of the things we learned in this current neuroscience course is that gluten free foods do not have folic acid (folate). Folic acid is essential for memory and it is extremely important for pregnant women. So, sometimes, we need to be a little careful with the supplements, the special foods, etc.

Not everyone can take them and some of them can lack necessary things.

The other thing that was talked about in this course is that many scientists think that mental illness are connected with problems of the gastrointestinal track. That is something I have heard in previous courses and have read about in sciences magazines.

Are they right about that correlation? I don't know. Some think schizophrenia may have several origins, including a bacteriologic infection. It is possible, but I do not have enough knowledge to know for sure. So far, no one does. Scientists are still looking for answers on many issues.

Kikki, would you be so kind to start a new thread for Biochemistry, neurotransmitters and brain research? Thank you.

[kikki]

At its roots, science is creative.  Scientists are creative (or at least that's the idea hopefully).
Differing view points and differing approaches are par for the course.

I was excited that someone actually mentioned MLC instead of pretending it doesn't exist.  That has to be a positive.

Whether or not his theories (and others) are correct, only time will tell.

Bearing in mind that university courses cannot by their very nature be completely up to date, as it's a huge process for the information to be deemed correct and then for the courses to be updated.
They're usually a few years behind the latest research.

But back to my first point - I'm just glad that someone is not brushing MLC under the carpet.
Yay to that.