[Gallagher]

NB-our stories sound similar I will reach out to you through the messages.

My H went into a deeper depression at BD.  Completely withdrew from me and the boys.  Like you said, I was so used to seeing him somewhat depressed, it became just the way it was.  I found my happiness in my boys, very good girlfriends and community.  I filled my cup to overfilling and buried my head in the sand.  The depression H went into after BD was different.  Deeper, sader.

He started IC and gradually started reconnecting with the boys.  I was last, of course.  For the past few months he seems to be coming out of depression.  Has been working on the house, chopping down trees, painting.  Basically making up for the years of sitting behind his laptop in a coma.

[Thundarr]

Ladybird,

Your H and my W sound alot alike.

"If anything, it seems that my H hates me.  He has denied this but did tell me he dislikes me a few times, only to tell me later that he does like me."

My W told me she didn't hate me, but dislikes 95% about me.  The only thing she likes is that I'm a "great dad and she wouldn't want kids by anyone else."  I guess if that's 5% it's a good 5%.

My W also makes little effort to see the kids, even though she tells them she wants to see them alot. Nothing keeps her from it, but when she's here she's in and out if I'm here.  I invited her to stay longer today as well as to go to my mom's with us, and she gave me a mean look and said "no."

[Anjae]

Thundarr, take it or leave a few details, I think they all look alike.

[eternity]

...the years of sitting behind his laptop in a coma.

Gallagher,
i so recognise this: you call it a coma, I always refer to it as buried alive
My H did this for years and I did not get alerted. I thought it was all a result  of the job (owning a restaurant, obliged to be a lot around people so I thought in his spare time he just wanted some space for himself...) Yeah did I got bombed

i have to add that I think even my H did not know what was going on
little does he know  he is  boomerang and more high  than low energy MLCer 
Take care

[Still]

I think there are lot of similarities in various cases. My H is definitely a low energy MLC'er. He was at home three years from the start of his MLC. He moved out, but continues to be very low energy through the tunnel. Spends most of his time alone, rarely finishes any projects, major workaholic, and focuses on athletic training.

For the majority of his time at home, he was angry and acted irritated towards me. He still ate dinner at the table with our children and we went to school/church functions together. At home, there was only conversation that I initiated and even then, it was clear he was quite uninterested in anything I had to say. There has been no affection of any kind in years.

Now, however, he seems much less angry, even sounding like his "old self" during many conversations. He doesn't avoid me at every opportunity, though he doesn't seek me out either. Most interaction is through text/email.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

I think it is very important to look at "Replay" as a term. I have an issue with the phrase because it confuses the newbies. You read post after post, why should he or she get all of the fun while I am out doing all the work. Replay is not about happiness, it is about running and escaping. This escaping is either physical, emotional, and or mental.

Also the idea of low energy versus high energy tends to send a message that low energy is easier or a milder form of MLC.

The other realization is that the anger is still there in the low energy MLCer. It is directed inward, but if pushed, the volcano will erupt. That is why I prefer overt and covert depression.

Just some of my thoughts and perspective.

[kikki]

Replay is not about happiness, it is about running and escaping. This escaping is either physical, emotional, and or mental.

Ready - very good point.