[Thunder]

I'm not sure why he was honest. 

I remember asking him one time (about 7 months into this) where he was going (he was all dressed up).
He said..I don't want to lie to you, I'm going to a dating service.  WE WERE STILL MARRIED!

Of course I was shocked.  I started gathering my things to leave and after awhile he said..you seem mad or hurt.   
I said..no, I'm not mad.
He said..well, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, I didn't mean to.   

When I look back on how crazy he was during this time it still stuns me. 

[OffRoad]

You have to wonder, how on  Earth could he not see that going to a dating service would not be hurtful? Are they really looking to see what your reaction is? Or do they really not get it somehow?

[bipolared]

I'm not sure why he was honest. 

I remember asking him one time (about 7 months into this) where he was going (he was all dressed up).
He said..I don't want to lie to you, I'm going to a dating service.  WE WERE STILL MARRIED!

Of course I was shocked.  I started gathering my things to leave and after awhile he said..you seem mad or hurt.   
I said..no, I'm not mad.
He said..well, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, I didn't mean to.   

When I look back on how crazy he was during this time it still stuns me.

2 nights after BD we were out having drinks(I was hoping to loosen his tongue and find out WTF was going on) and my H was all happy, asking me wasn't I EXCITED about us getting to date again!  But still felt the need to lie even though he could say stuff like that.  Can't make it up.

[Thunder]

Offroad,

I sure don't have the answer to that one.  He, seriously, was surprised I was hurt.
This should be a good lesson for newbies.  Their head is so full of themselves don't take anything personal.  They have no real idea what they are doing is hurting you.

bi,

See that's what I mean.  No clue.. You SHOULD have been excited!!!   

[1Cor.13]

Offroad,

I sure don't have the answer to that one.  He, seriously, was surprised I was hurt.
This should be a good lesson for newbies.  Their head is so full of themselves don't take anything personal.  They have no real idea what they are doing is hurting you.

bi,

See that's what I mean.  No clue.. You SHOULD have been excited!!!   

---------------------------
  So very true! My H of 20 years couldn't understand why I didn't want to be friends or why I was beyond distressed about his OW, with whom he started cheating and would call her when we were on a family vacation with our daughter and lie to me that he was talking to one of his guy friends "who was having marriage problems"  My husband used to hate hearing about people who cheated in their marriages..I know they are in MLC and are crazy, but even so called "crazy" people have morals and know that cheating, lying, stealing, slandering, etc etc are WRONG. I don't talk to mine at all anymore..it will be interesting because our D graduates from high school this week and he said he will go, at first he told our D he might not go "because your mom and grandmother are going to be there"..Really, I have raised her alone for 4 years with no help at all from him, and because we're going to be there, he wasn't going?! It just shows you how selfish and guilt ridden they become, an apology never even occurs to many of them.  I forgave him long ago, he is so lost, I just feel sorry for him.

[Medusa]

OffRoad, I think they honestly don't get it. They are so consumed by what they want, they have absolutely no empathy.

My version.

 Few ekes after BD, I tried antidepressants. After the second pill, I started having the suicidal thoughts. It terrified me. Called him, he didn't believe but eventually came home. As the drug worked through my system, I became catatonic. He put me to bed and went back to work. Really. I stared at the TV the entire day and part of the evening until he finally came home.

The next morning, I was okay. When that fact was established, he (at my request) hid all the weapons in the house lined up all the camping gear in the garage then went to pay bills. When I went into the garage and saw all the stuff, I burst into tears. I know he was going with OW, but I couldn't quite wrap my head around that he was still going to desert me after what had happened.

I sat on my front porch sobbing. He heard me, came down and asked, in all seriousness (and sounding like a little boy), "What did I do this time?" He really had absolutely no clue how much he was hurting me. All he cared about was seeing OW and escaping the very terrifying reminder of what his behavior could have resulted in.

I also wound up in the psych ward for a couple of days after my mom died suddenly. My BFF was the one who called him to let him know, and she's since told me he clearly didn't give a f*** and that he sounded absolutely clinical.

I don't think when we are in the thick of all their shenanigans, we can clearly see how unbelievably detached from reality they are. It's another similarity between them an us: the only way to survive MLC is to find a way to detach. For us its from them. For them it appears to be from reality.

[OffRoad]

2 nights after BD we were out having drinks(I was hoping to loosen his tongue and find out WTF was going on) and my H was all happy, asking me wasn't I EXCITED about us getting to date again!  But still felt the need to lie even though he could say stuff like that.  Can't make it up.

I swear, we need a face palm smiley so bad....

[Lifes A Dance]

I swear, we need a face palm smiley so bad....

I agree!   

[Picton]

Is my MLCer NORMAL?
Had xp around last week sorting out the last of the matrimonial property. We already had most of it sorted so I wasn't sure why we needed to meet in person  but anyway he wanted to change our Life Insurance Policies (turned up with papers for me to sign) told he I would need to seek advice and I wouldn't be signing anything until that had happened.
Well as you can imagine he started to monster at me - I told him that due to the fact that everything he has said to me over the past 14 months had been a lie then I no longer believed anything he told me.
Is it normal for MLCers to think that LBS's should believe everything that they say even when they have constantly lied since BD?

[kikki]

Is it normal for MLCers to think that LBS's should believe everything that they say even when they have constantly lied since BD?

Sadly yes.  They make their minds up about how they want things to be, and seem to do and say anything to us to facilitate that happening to suit themselves.
All part of the script