[Thunder]

OMG blackice , I have been thinking about you a lot lately.  Wondering how you are doing.

Please update when you can.   

[bipolared]

Wow, congrats BI!  We were sort of in the same "class", if I remember correctly.  Hope things continue to go well, so happy for you!

[Savoir Faire]

Wow Blackice, details please of HOW he came home.

You will need a lot of strength for this.  I think we are on a similar timeline.  I used to post on your thread often.

[blackice]

I went dormant and didnt want to talk bc I was afraid none of this was ever going to happen. We'd been trying since last October to get him home and every time something stopped it so we both stopped trying. He was going to finish his probation out and then return in June. Until then it was a waiting game. We kept talking, he kept detaching from OW. They didnt even sleep in the same room and he avoided being home for as long as he could to stay away from her. She became even more abusive and controlling. Then she wanted another baby so she could go on welfare cause she doesnt want to work but she also would sabotage all Hs jobs so he wasnt even making a living wage. Lie to him for money for bills and then spend it on going out with her friends.

So anyway, he detached. He talks to her grandmother easter weekend and lets her know the entire truth of everything. Grandma thinks OW is a moron. Grandma drops the bomb on OW in front of the entire family Easter Sunday. OW tells H to leave and she doesnt come home for three days. H in meantime calls po gets his transfer approved and im out there getting him and he packs up and leaves. All the while OW is still pretending to her mom, who they live with, that nothing happened and didnt bother to tell her that they broke up even though she told H she had told her mom. her mom tries to get him to come back but we were half way out of state and he told her to shove it it was done and to leave him alone. No contact since last thursday afternoon.

We are now home. He's relieved but sad and angry. Theres a lot of emotions. He is being very honest and very transparent. Letting me know that yeah he did have feelings but not anymore for OW because he knows it was all a lie and not real. He's filing for an anulment and a restraining order. Its weird bc ive been on my own for so long but he's already been a huge help and the kids are happy to see him. Just have to get to know each other again cause we have both changed. So i will post more since I have hit a new milestone in all this madness. Im happy but apprehensive. I want it tonwork. I waited this long for this and I want it to work. So lets see how this goes.

[Savoir Faire]

Wow Blackice, such good news.  What a turn-around from the man who left you!!

I always thought he had the potential to come home but you need to be really steady during this time and be good to yourself.  Remember how you are a different person now and really don't need him so don't put up with too much nonsense,  I can only suppose you are a mix of happy/wary thoughts right now.

Please keep posting, this will be a good place to vent while you are reconnecting.

(((((((((Hugs))))))))

[Thunder]

I just hope to God he is finally done with all that craziness.

I'm sure it will take him time to calm down and feel comfortable again.
Give it lots of time, BI.

[blackice]

I will. No rushing. This is a time to heal and see what happens.

Its funny i remember reading somewhere they follow us on our journey just slower. He did the exact same steps I did to save myself from his crazy to get away from ow.

[OldPilot]

Blackice

Just be aware the crisis is not over it is just past the beginning at this time.

Keep your boundaries in place - you are doing fine.

[Passiflora]

Hi BI,
So good to hear from you. I was also thinking about you the other day, OK I admit maybe a little bit more about what your "crazy one" was doing now! 

I agree with Old Pilot and once again it's so nice to have you back.

Hugs

[blackice]

Definitely have my boundaries in place. I do appreciate his complete honesty right now. Still its only been a week. He has been cleaning like crazy to stay busy and talking up a storm.