[MyBrainIsBroken]

Thanks Thunder. Enjoy your camping trip.

[OldPilot]

Even on THS several of my friends are divorced and they say it's not that big a deal and several others are going through the process and looking forward to having it over with. I'm not there yet. I was looking at photos of our wedding day and my wife was so happy. How did we go from that to this?

I think divorce is a very big deal.

Why do you think you need to negate how you feel about your wife, your marriage and divorce because others accept it as something that is common, the way the world just is now and that we are foolish somehow to remember the love we shared the vows we made.

To negate the reality of the many years together, our family, the love we shared would leave me feeling like those years had no meaning or value. They had 32 years of meaning and were the happiest years of my life.

We can still find peace, contentment and joy, yes and still honor what was the most significant event in our lives. Our marriages and the lives that we shared had value.

This attitude that it is no big deal, really?

Airmid stated:

Don't be broadcasting that you would take your wife back to people you hardly know.
It serves no purpose at all.

Indeed it DOES have tremendous purpose. It shows others that you don't buy into our throw away society. It shows that you are a man of honor and integrity, that you understand that your wife is suffering from something that is beyond her control. It shows that you are committed to your wife, and as long as you love her and desire her to be your wife again then feel free to express this to who ever you wish.

You do not know who you might be saying this to. Perhaps someone whose own marriage is in danger of being destroyed. I have several people in my life who love me because I will not give up on him. By telling others that you would like to reconcile one day, you make it very clear who you are, what you stand for...and you verbally proclaim your obedience to God's will regarding the sacrament of marriage.

Too many times, we shy away from speaking our truth. We are afraid of appearing foolish. You have always stated that you love your wife, that you hope that someday she will return to you and your family. You can be proud of being honest and real and not afraid to look at the world's view that everyone will be "fine" and "happier".....your actions and words speak volumes to those who are being lead astray by a world whose morals and  values are lost.

STANDING is NOT STILL.

You need to keep moving forward or else you will get stuck.

My question is how does any of this keep you moving forward?

[1trouble]

Hawk

Just want to offer my condolences and say what everyone else has said.

I know its these situations that make you feel on the outside looking in and marginalised but you have offered support, which is all you can do.

When I lost my parents I remember reading some things on a discussion board of people in the same boat but who, unlike me, had bad childhoods and their parents were not kind, loving and caring, like mine were.

In a way their grief was worse because instead of having 'straight forward' grieving thoughts, it brought other things to the surface too, like anger at the person, sadness for the relationship that never was. etc.
I am sure your wife and her family are going through all of this and it is a sad but confusing time for them because of the life your SIL lead.
I am also sure if she needs you she will reach out to you and if she doesn't now she might later.
You can always check how things are for your daughter..... but you have shown kindness and compassion and that will be remembered.

As far as OM is concerned, try not to give him headspace.  In no shape or form can he offer the same support you would have been able too or can because he hasn't the history, knowledge of your SIL, family dynamics etci and it is at times like this these things are so meaningful, because you don't want to explain the background you just want to share thoughts and stories of the person.

[1trouble]

Brain (MBIB)

Just want to say I am thinking of you tomorrow I cannot imagine how this all feels but I know I am about to find out and it feels me with utter sadness.

I know how much you love your wife and I know how hard this is going to be, my thoughts and prayers are with you

Take care xx

[Ropeburn]

MY
 Your in my thoughts .....
Thunder
  Camping ehh? Been forever have fun

[hawk]

Will have to drop back and meanwhile thanks so much to everyone for the direction in my own sitch but yeah , good luck in court b , l hope you get through ok , we're all with you.

[Chookie]

Thinking of you too MB. Hope it goes well.

[HopeFaithLove]

Lost your thread so attaching

[Reallytrying]

Hawk - sorry about SIL. It will be interesting to see how w responds in the coming days. Even with the complicated relationship she was still her sister so there are likely tons of feelings there even if she chooses not to show that.

Brain - thinking of you tomorrow. Be sure not to use "honey" when you see her  . Seriously though I hope you get through it as well as can be expected. Sending lots of support.

[xyzcf]

Also adding my prayers for tomorrow.