[Anjae]

I think President Obama aged more because of his job. I have seen that happen to several politicians. He would age anyway, but the job and its demands took its toll.

Yes, people age, but not the way MLCer do. I have also aged. We all do. However, at least in Mr J case. It is strange. On rare ocassions, he goes back to look the same. And, for example, so far, his hair has not become grey. It is the same colour it was. And when he looks normal, he does look like his old normal self.

All that drinking he does has its effects. So does the lack of sleep and the crazy life. I suspect President Obama also does not get much sleep and is often called to be present in crisis situations. That ages a person.

We are not blamming, we are saying what we see. Mr J is still young. He was 36 when he left. He is now 46. And it is more than just aging. It is the gestures, the posture, the way of walk. It has all changed a while after BD. He become someone else. Not just someone who looks tired and bloated.

[Velika]

Thanks Anjae!

I would be curious to hear if someone who comes out of MLC returns to looking more like they did before.

Also, Anjae, does Mr J act more like his old self when he looks like his old self?

Something that comes to mind is PMS. Most women don't look as good when they are PMSing. And many women look more attractive when they are ovulating. Maybe the looks have to do with testosterone?

Do women MLCers look better or worse? My SIL had a MLC. She now gets fillers in her face so it's hard to tell ... But I have seen some comments on male LBS forms about their MLC wives looking really good. Is this not right? (I know women have more tools like makeup.)

Anjae I think you are right that everyone ages but it is different. I saw someone on the bus the other day with a young boy. He shouted MLC to me but I couldn't put my finger on it. He wasn't in a convertible or with a younger woman. His face lacked definition but it was also his expression.

Anyhow ... I find the comments here interesting.

A final question. Are most MLCs preceded by rapid weight loss?

[Shadoe]

V,


I saw my STBX in court today, this is the first in 9 months short of a 10 session for our ISC. He looked horrible, all the weight he lost he has gained back, bags under the eyes, eyes sunken, balding, his beard is almost all gray. He just looked old and sick, of course the shark eyes are still there. He still can't look at me. I actually felt sorry for him for a moment.


H is only 45.

[OffRoad]

My H is ten years younger than I am, but looks older. No one knows I am 10 years older. His beard has gone grey, he shaves his head (looks terrible), but I'm pretty sure that is grey, too. Lost all muscle tone, stopped swimming or exercising at all. Smells just like S17. No joke. You can open either bedroom door and they smell identical.

[UrsaMajor]

Hi Velika,

OK, as a guy with a female MLC'er, mine lost a lot of weight... She was always on the thin side but this was an unhealtthy thin - if I have to describe it, she had no butt at all anymore... her arms were sticks.

Now (8 months after ABD), she has gained nearly all of what she has lost back and looks similar to the way she did before except that in 8 months, she has a many more lines in her face which she tries to cover with makeup (to a limited degree of success). She has always colored the grey away but needs to do it much more often now.

I always found my W physically beautiful and the Body Snatcher is wearing her body so I have to say that I am NOT objective but, yes, she has aged much more than 8 months would have suggested...

[MyBrainIsBroken]

A couple of years before BD my wife was diagnosed with food allergies and had to quit eating wheat, soy, and corn. As a result we both changed to a much more healthy diet. I started running and working out about 15 months before BD and she would workout with me and walk the track while I ran. She told her sister that we were both getting in shape so that we could continue to be active for a long time while we grew old together. Anyway, she lost a lot of weight and looked really good when the om came around, soon followed by BD.

For the first few months after BD the only change I noticed when I would see her was that she was very high energy, almost hyper. As time went on, she started complaining she couldn't sleep, her complexion took on a yellowish cast, her hair looked very frizzy and dry, and she put back on more weight than she lost. She complained about stomach problems and headaches which probably occurred because she started eating like the pig she was with, basically anything and everything. Recently she's been complaining that she's having a lot of back pain and doesn't know if she's going to be able to continue working.

This next part has me wondering what's going on. For a long time she's seemed hesitant and uncomfortable at first when she would see me and then after a while she would start loosening up and enjoying herself. Recently we had a PM exchange where she basically told me she thought it would be nice if we talked more and I agreed. Since then she's been coming around more often and she's always in a good mood. She seems very comfortable with me now, even though the reason she's coming around is related to the divorce. She's also been spending a lot more time with D32 and the grandkids and the last time I saw her I realized that she looks better now than she has in a long time.

[Velika]

This next part has me wondering what's going on. For a long time she's seemed hesitant and uncomfortable at first when she would see me and then after a while she would start loosening up and enjoying herself. Recently we had a PM exchange where she basically told me she thought it would be nice if we talked more and I agreed. Since then she's been coming around more often and she's always in a good mood. She seems very comfortable with me now, even though the reason she's coming around is related to the divorce. She's also been spending a lot more time with D32 and the grandkids and the last time I saw her I realized that she looks better now than she has in a long time.

MBIB, so it sounds like her improved behavior does correspond to improved appearance?

Also, I'm not as familiar with your story, but is she still with OM?

I started the gut health thread and also had the observation of gut issues prior to MLC, then radiant health/improved looks during bomb drop, followed by a decline/inconsistency. I even wondered if OM/OW served as a kind of "fecal transplant" initially to the MLCer (heh heh) but then ceased to prove medicinal as time wore on.

A funny observation, my own gut health improved dramatically when my husband moved out!

My husband also went on a dramatic weight loss/health regime before bomb drop. Since this is a common theme I wonder if there is something to this.

[Watcher]

My W has lost weight from not eating, not necessarily working out. However, I do have to admit that she looks amazing. She pours her money into her hair, nails, eyebrows, and clothing. She dresses conservatively/ business attire  for work and athletic wear at  home. Overall she looks great and believe me I try not to look. The last thing I want to do is feed that massive ego.

She always has been attractive so the emphasis on her looks really screams self esteem issues. She got plenty of attention from men prior to BD and I'm sure she is still getting it since.

Brunette to blonde and brown eyes to green. Throw in the use of her maiden name and she is trying to be someone else.

[Anjae]

I would be curious to hear if someone who comes out of MLC returns to looking more like they did before.

If you read the thread of those reconnecting or reconciled you will realise that, yes, MLCers go back to look like they used to (minus, of course, the normal age related aging). My cousin who had MLC went back to his normal look. In fact, he looks great.

Also, Anjae, does Mr J act more like his old self when he looks like his old self?

I have no idea. I do not see him in person. I have only seen photos of the past years.

[hawk]

A few mths before bd , w lost a pile of weight.
After bd and moving out she also must have poured every spare cent into new hair every few wks, nails ,weight programs, clothes, gym , a personal trainer , the works, for the next 2 yrs..
She worked her arse of at gym twice a wk for a year but if you did her job you'd realize just how much that took , adding 2hrs of driving there and back on top. This is the first time in her life she's stuck to diets or gym longer than a few mths.

Why ? / Was it for om well,if you saw om and then saw w, uhhh, God knows why she would do that for a guy like this he must think it's Christmas with whatever shape she's in compared.

But in this last 8mths , all that's gone , she's even growing her hair long again. Her FB page is also wiped clean. No more quotes and posters or new philosophies on life and love, all gone, nothing , empty , just a pic of her, that's it. And she's been almost her old self mostly over a yr now but still volatile and moody.

But she's still with om and it appears stronger than ever.
So what does it all mean , l still have no idea .