[UKStander]

LP, what a horrifying story.     Unbelievable.  What did your H mean by 'your Jesus'?  Were you religious? Was his hated mother religious?  Very strange, the religious angle.   

I don't believe in the devil in the mediaeval way, or that there are dark forces out there that do battle in the way of those that we often see in movies.  And yet. I do remember the word 'evil' popping into my mind in the early days of my H's crisis. It was the only word that seemed to capture his suddenly cruel and twisted behaviour. I also remember sitting at breakfast one time in my IL's home and looking at FIL, and thinking, there's something about you that I really don't like, that seems 'nasty'. I've never ever felt this about anyone else I've ever met in my life.

Cruelty is frequently born of pain and suffering, though, isn't it?  Even in serial killers (or so a documentary I once watched said).  So I don't know that anyone devil-like or a devil-like force comes along and points a finger and 'wham' the person is suddenly beset by evil, but I do believe that cruelty, violence, hatred - ALL the negative and destructive emotions - become, collectively, a negative and yes, 'evil' power in humanity's midst.  More like an energy, as other posters have said.

Maybe when the destructive emotions become SO pent up and so huge that they come at us like a whirlwind, then we find them so terrifying and dangerous that we turn to words like 'evil' to express the sheer extent of the horror we feel.

I think mlc is a mental illness.  But science doesn't yet seem to have worked out what happens in the brain, or the causes, when people are submitted to cruelty for very long periods, relentlessly, and especially when the victims are young and have no defences. For me that's where the word 'evil' is required in order to express what I feel - when I see or hear of people being cruel to children.

Because when someone is cruel to a child they have no compassion, no sense of the child's innocence and vulnerability or their own overwhelming power.  In the moment of their cruelty to the child the adult is a disgusting creature, self-serving, vicious, inflated with a feeling of entitlement to hurt someone else.  That, to me, is about where 'evil' resides.  Of course when adults are cruel to adults it's as bad, really....  But there's that extra vile-ness to the warping of something that exists as pure goodness - a child's innocence.

[Loyal]

I`ve been thinking this for a long time about my MLCer and actually had a conversation with my BF about it last night. My MLCer`s M had a very evil side to her. He detested her because of this and kept contact with her to a minimum as she always went out of her way to provoke and insult whoever she disliked most ( mostly me) that was present. The wierd and awful thing about it is that he seems to have taken over this evil side of her personality but is a thousand times worse than she ever was.

 

[Roma]

Do I believe in the devil? Yes, yet pretty sure not in the way most do. Not the red dude with pointy ears and a pitchfork.

Do I believe in MLC as a mental illness? Yes I do.

Do I believe in 'demonic possessions' not at all.

Do I believe in magic or voodoo? No.

Do I believe in 'souls' No.

I'm a skeptic and a realist; it all takes a while for me to 'believe'. For me there must be proof. Evidence. And that goes for everything in my life.

Do I feel MLC has a dark side. Absolutely. At least with my MLCer. I feel whatever happened to him was so deep and scarred him so badly even he doesn't want to think about it at all. Hence the long running Replay behaviors. 

[Shocked]

Attaching!!! Interesting enough just this week I told another LBS that I thought I was in a battle with Satan himself. She said she felt the same way but was afraid to say that to anyone else. I have to turn that battle over to God. I can't fight that battle alone.

[in it]

Yep I agree Shocked..you gotta give them to God.
It took quite a bit for me to admit it; the battle was too big for me.

[Roma]

Exactly Shocked and in it.

Self Focus, detach and let go are the best ways to deal with this!

[Seekingpatience]

Hi all, 

Just want to add some things for those who read this thread later.

I have always be spiritual but not religious not even through deaths of grandparents and Mom. I live in a part of the world where "black magic" and shamans are present day happenings and not part of a distant past.

When H was deep in the tunnel, there were hints from relatives that H's work country was riddled with "black magic" and there were women who would use it to "catch" my H. H's apartment overlooked a cemetery and that was suggested by some other relatives that it was dangerous to do so.

At the time of first Dday, even the first MC asked me if I had considered "voodoo".  my reply was that H did this all on his "own-some" and I didn't want him to shirk any responsibility and evade accountability by using "voodoo". Yet.....

Things happened during this time and from this time onward that opened my eyes to how much I had been blessed and protected by God. H as well, he told me that "looking back, SomeOne up there is looking after me." And He truly was. 

Further, I have seen with my own eyes a "rictus" smile on H when he "thanked" me just after Xmas  2014 when we Skyped MIL. It was a chilling look, for in that moment, I saw a skull underneath H's skin.  it was soon after this that I prayed for H to be kept safe in God's hands as I could not battle this alone.

I prayed the Hedge of Thorns over H and also a prayer of protection over our house and family. Things started to go very very wrong for OL and H. She stepped up the pressure and things H "overlooked" before started to be annoying to him. And her true colours started to show through.

H looks back now (he is trying to write out a timeline with the help of IC) and has said it seems like he was "addicted" " intoxicated" but also has used the word "possessed". Though he was brought up Church of England, H had never been a church goer. He was very sceptical of "bible bashers" and yet there now seems to be a very spiritual side to him now. His IC prays with him after each session and he seems to gain strength from this.

I do believe there is a fundamental battle between good and evil. And that there are forces which tempt and aim to break up marriages and families. I am also seeing OL as a pawn in this. OL has recently become "engaged" to an older expat in H's work country. And when I mean older, he is retired and at least 65. OL is 28 this year and the story on Fakebook is following a very similar script, down to the holiday and rings. h feels now that he "went off the rails" and that he was a fool. I see it as a very close brush with the bottom of a very warm pit and that it was by the grace of God that he managed to climb out.

I am very grateful that H's IC (who is a church Elder) is guiding him on H's "Road to Redemption". "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy". How true.

Peace and strength.

[OldPilot]

Bump

[Not Applicable]

Believe it or not, this is one of my areas of academic expertise. Magic and possession. Such things are very common in my husband's country. In fact, a government study about 20 years ago found people spend more money on this stuff than they do on medical treatment.

The OW long believed someone had put a curse on her to reject men. She finally got it removed (by the brother of one of the world's leading religious authorities nonetheless) and a week or two later she met my husband. No joke.

One night I dreamed I was in my kitchen talking to her. I told her, "This dishwasher isn't very good. Next time I would buy a different brand of dishwasher." I woke up, went into the kitchen, and having been reminded about the dishwasher by my dream, went to turn it on to wash the dishes in it. It wouldn't start. I really was suspicious about that coincidence. Turned out mice had chewed through the electric wires, but still it spooked me.

I would not put it past her to try magic against me. If she believe it worked on her, then why wouldn't she believe it would work on me?

I have actually toyed with the idea of telling my husband he is possessed when he monsters at me. It might be a more effective truth dart than telling him his personality has changed. It would allow him to not have to take personal responsibility for it.

90% of people here believe impotence can be caused by magic. Including my husband and he is a doctor. There are doctors here who will blame medical syndromes on folk medical concepts just to get their patients to comply with treatment, even though the doctors know it is bull$h!te.

Some people blame certain symptoms on medical causes, others on men being lying cheating bastards, others on possession or magic. In the end, people will believe whatever explanation suits their worldview. If you want to influence someone's behavior, telling them the cause is something they believe in is a more effective manner than what you believe.

[Not Applicable]

We are on the second half of the second decade of the XXI century, not on the X or XII century. Mental illness is not a demonic possession.

Yes but you would be shocked how many people believe in these sorts of things, even in America. People always want to believe that civilization progresses to a more enlightened state. It doesn't work that way.