[LEC16]

Good post, I agree depression is the one part of mlc that is an absolute.

I get that depression causes the loss of feelings and the need for high stimulation in order to get desired feelings, but cheating and value changes don't seem to be a direct symptom of depression. I also don't think overt anger makes sense. I know guilt is a factor in those things, but wouldn't guilt also help prevent the bad behavior then?  I just can't blame out of control emotions and urges on depression, but perhaps I need more education on the topic.

Anger is the key to acting out. Anger is what lets the MLCer rise above guilt and remorse to say "hey! what about me? what about what I want? F this damn F'in world that has done nothing but take a dump on me! I don't care any more!"

I just talked to my wife last night about this. She was talking to her OM on a chat program and then it suddenly showed up on the phone bill. She did it because she didn't care anymore, she wanted to be caught and I would be the one to end things.. satisfying her guilt and not letting her have to face anything.

By and large, anger is the driving force behind cheating and other immoral things. Those in an MLC feel the universe has held them down and things have just been done to them their whole lives. Anger is the fuel that tips the scales in their favor.. or the illusion there of.

I understand your point on anger, I'm just trying to understand what element of the mlc that anger is a symptom of?  I really think you nailed the logic, I just don't know the why. Depression makes the most sense as the driving force behind mlc, I just struggle to understand the behavior that wouldn't seem to be linked to depression. I guess I want to understand why evil is part of their behavior.

[Roma]

Hi LEC,

I feel this 'evil' you talk about and most likely blamed on the LBS is what the MLCer really feels about themselves.

[Thunder]

Watcher,

I grew up Catholic.  I was taught many important life lessons to guide me that I still follow.

I'm not terribly religious today but I do believe God is the answer.
If your W is turning towards God for answers that is a good thing. 

He will guide her.

[LEC16]

Hi LEC,

I feel this 'evil' you talk about and most likely blamed on the LBS is what the MLCer really feels about themselves.

That makes sense, the anger is them projecting, but is projecting mlc or depression?  I guess I see mlc as basically a spiritual sickness in that it really impacts morals, values, priorities, or in other words a persons logic and belief system.

[Not Applicable]

Could it not just be seen that they are angry at themselves for their own moral failings and are projecting it on us?

MLC I think is a mental illness that has overlap with the mental illness that is depression.

[LEC16]

Could it not just be seen that they are angry at themselves for their own moral failings and are projecting it on us?

MLC I think is a mental illness that has overlap with the mental illness that is depression.

Well put, I think mlc is a mental illness, but the crazy part is that the symptoms seem to be immoral behavior. Like I said it seems to be an attack on the transcendentals, which to me make it seem like an attack on the good or things that are unique to humans. What makes humans different from a spiritual perspective is the belief that we have a rational soul. When the mlc lacks the ability to use logic and love and instead follow a feeling they are no different than a soulless animal following instincts.

To me the eyes being a direct window to the soul is both telling and scary. My W looked like a possessed person at S8 first reconciliation, she was the only parent that didn't go to confession. To me that was obviously guilt, but evil was also a factor.

[BBhelp]

Watcher,

I grew up Catholic.  I was taught many important life lessons to guide me that I still follow.

I'm not terribly religious today but I do believe God is the answer.
If your W is turning towards God for answers that is a good thing. 

He will guide her.

Amen Thunder.

It was the getting back to her faith that really turned my wife around.  I think it was where she could find some way to release the burden and start to find forgiveness.

[LEC16]

Watcher,

I grew up Catholic.  I was taught many important life lessons to guide me that I still follow.

I'm not terribly religious today but I do believe God is the answer.
If your W is turning towards God for answers that is a good thing. 

He will guide her.

Amen Thunder.

It was the getting back to her faith that really turned my wife around.  I think it was where she could find some way to release the burden and start to find forgiveness.

Rejection of Religion was one of the first things my wife did. She can't stand to be in church. She went once when the girls served mass and during the mass she grabbed my hand. She told me afterwards that despite not wanting to go she felt better after going. Unfortunately I was not able to get her to go again. She was dark and cold during S8 first reconciliation and refused the sacrament. I know it's out of my control, but is there anything I could or should do to encourage religion?  I left S8 first reconciliation homework for her to help him with but she had D12 do it. I could make her do the retreat with him, but my guess is she will not go. Any thoughts?

[Roma]

Depression is anger turned inward.

I feel MLCers a very confused. As well as regressed in age. They forget what was taught to them. And rebel heavily just like teenagers.

So anything about religion,  morals or anything taught earlier to them is now hidden as well as their love for the LBS and children.

In time, once they heal their childhood issues, things should come back to them with possibly a few changes.

[Thunder]

LEC,

I would not push her into religion.  I has to come from inside her.

You however can practice your religion with your children and be a great example for her without saying a word.