[Thunder]

I have no idea what Semper Fi means but happy birthday, LP.   

[Anjae]

It is short for the latin expression Semper fidelis, "always faithful", usually used as "always loyal". It is the US Marines moto. Yes, I know, I have watched too many American movies and tv shows. 

Medusa and LP's husbands were (are?) marines.

[Medusa]

It is short for the latin expression Semper fidelis, "always faithful", usually used as "always loyal". It is the US Marines moto. Yes, I know, I have watched too many American movies and tv shows. 

Medusa and LP's husbands were (are?) marines.

Nailed the translation, Anjae.

Me, LP, and My3 were all Marine Corps wives. For me it was 24 years and a lot of wonderful memories. Tomorrow is the birthday of the founding of the Corps which happened at the Tun Tavern (appropriately) in 1775.

When STBX and I did mediation, it was (a) in the same building where he hooked up without OW (their work was there) and as luck had it, the room had Corps-related names. His was the Semper Fidelis room. I laughed out loud when I saw that.

Hoo-Rah!  Semper Fi!

Thank you, quite a sisterhood being married to a military man, isn't it!  Good experiences and the not so good that helped shape the women we are today. 

Lp

Love the bark, LP (only those who know Marines know what Hoo-Rah actually sounds like when Marines do it!), and you are absolutely right: out career as "Dependents" (always have hated that term!) definitely shapes the women we are now, right down to the book "Roses and Thorns" they gave at TBS. Did you get that one, LP (My3, not trying to be exclusionary: the book was about how to be a good officer's wife).

Happy Birthday My3!

End of hijack.

Anjae, my old IC once said to me that although STBX and I did love each other, our individual brokenness complemented each other. We filled each other's needs.

I believe we will always be broken in one way or another. Is there really an "unbroken" person out there? We seem to find someone whose level of brokenness matches our own.

[Trustandlove]

Anjae, you say that perhaps you want a level that isn't possible, because we have done so much mirror work, etc....   it's possible that we also over-analyse, that we are hyper-sensitive to may things. 

I had some family friends over on Sunday, a core group of people who H and I counted as our closest friends.  They are solid couples, each has had their difficulties but nothing on this level.  They have mostly come through the child-rearing, work-ambition-thing, material-good-accumulating phases of life, each a bit differently, but they have all grown up.  Each as couples, they have balanced out each others needs, and I well know that in some cases the needs of each half have been very opposite.

Would H be able to slot back into that group?  While he is the way he is it might be easy to think that no, but I do remember something about family/close friend groups where it was said that while one member is away the group appears to close ranks, but that provided the will is there the group is elastic enough to receive them again.

I agree that thinking we know someone might be not giving them the freedom to be who they are, however often in MLC they don't know who that is.  If they can be open and honest about who they are then yes -- but as so many of us know that isn't the case. 

I just remember back to my own period of behaving badly (albeit at a young age when so much more is forgiven); I was so pushing my changed being, saying I was now blank blank blank, until one day I realised that I COULD still be the person inside.  And I took a deep breath and went "back".  And was received with open arms.  Despite people having reason to push me away. 

[Shocked]

Happy Birthday Marine Corp and all the LBS military wives. My parents were both army. I respect all forms of military service!!

[lawprofessor]

Thank you, but as you have perhaps guessed, its not my birthday today, but that of the Marine Corps.  It began its proud history back in 1775. 

The Corps is one of my favorite institutions.  For me, male Marines are the epitome of manhood.  Many years ago I had one of my fondest memories-that of attending the official ball.  It is a memory I will cherish forever.  My H was so tall and proud, big and strong, intelligent and fearless.  We were on the fast track to the top of Washington DC society and influence.  We appeared to the world as a couple that had it all.  He in his uniform and medals, me in a lovely gown.  We danced and had a wonderful time.  I was so much in love.  Shortly after that he was deployed again to the Middle East and I went to work in DC.  For about 3 months I didn't have a clue as to where he was or how he was fairing.  SOP for a military wife at times.  But you pretty quickly learn to do what you have to do.  Sort of good training for the later crisis.

When he returned we began the descent into MLC hell, slowly, ever so slowly.

Medusa, My3, and I are proud (former) Marine wives, and we are just 3 of the many military families on this forum.  We know the meaning first hand of patriotism and service as we lived it for years and years.  Yes, I miss seeing my military family.  They were always more of a family to me than my own in many ways.  And they were there for me when my ex and I split.

Oh sure Medusa!  I studied how to be a proper wife and lady!

Hoo-Rah Hoo-Rah!  Medusa's right.  I will never forget the sound.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Long after his uniform has been laid aside
Far away from his last duty station
It still runs in your veins
And lives in your memories
Long after the last long distance phone call
There is a pride
That can only be shared by wives
We are individuals bonded together by the harshest of realities
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Behind every strong Marine
There is an even stronger woman
Who stands by him, supports him, and loves him,
With all her heart.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

Today is one of the few days I take out my memories and dust them off a bit and remember the man that ex once was, in my eyes and in the eyes of the Marines, and his country.

LP

[Anjae]

I just saw Medusa's post and I realised it was not yours, but the Marine Corps birthday. I had no idea it dated back to the XVIII century.

We Europeans wrongly tend to think pretty much everything in the US is very new, nothing has a few centuries, when in fact some things do.

Hoo-Rah Hoo-Rah!  Medusa's right.  I will never forget the sound.

I am trying to picture the sound (going from films and tv series), but I am fairly certain it is very far from reality.

[Anjae]

Anjae, you say that perhaps you want a level that isn't possible, because we have done so much mirror work, etc....   it's possible that we also over-analyse, that we are hyper-sensitive to may things. 

I am not certain if the reason is over analyse or being hyper-sensitive to many things. I think it really is more a case of us becoming more developed than must people because we have done all that work. Most people never do the kind of work we did (do).

For me is more, will Mr J ever fit with me, the current me? With how/who I have become? I have no idea. Even on a professional level, he still seems like a teenager. It is impossible to work with someone behaving the way he still is, let alone have a relationship, be it friendship or something more.

I just remember back to my own period of behaving badly (albeit at a young age when so much more is forgiven); I was so pushing my changed being, saying I was now blank blank blank, until one day I realised that I COULD still be the person inside.  And I took a deep breath and went "back".  And was received with open arms.  Despite people having reason to push me away.

For me that happened in my late teens, before I meet Mr J. So, it happened at what could be considered the right age. I was impossible, a rebel, a real load. I pushed and pushed and pushed and did a few wrong things. But since I was 15-17, I was just being a teenager. No harm was done, no marriage was broken. In fact, I am quite glad I was such a rebel at that age.

Mr J never behaved the way I did when we was a teen. He was always a serious, quiet kid. Maybe that is why he is having a MLC. Maybe it is not.

To be fair, I had another period of behaving badly. After Mr J left. But, again, no marriage was broken and no harm was done. I was on my own and dealing with grief (from Mr J leaving, from my dad dying, etc) on my own way, the way I knew how to deal with at the time. And that was going out and about and drinking more than I should. I knew it was temporary, I did not had the guilt MLCers have, so, in the end, it was not so bad.

Did I grew during those two phases of behaving bad? I think I did after they ended. Or maybe the phases themselves lead to the after growth. During the phases I was much more interested in doing things than in thinking about things. Which I think is good. There is a time for doing, and a time for thinking.

[Medusa]

LP, your post brought tears. I, too, miss so many aspects of the Corps. I was always so proud of my Marine husband, and I miss who he was.

His retirement ceremony was at the Marine Corps Museum in Quantico. D24 sang he national anthem a capella in the soaring atrium. Her voice is amazing, and both STBX and I teared  up as her voice echoed through the building. On that day, I think I was most proud of him.

And then we, too, began our descent to hell. One day, I hope he will again be worthy of the title Marine.

Semper Fi and Hoo-Rah.

[Shocked]

Happy Veteran's Day to all you military wives!!! You deserve congrats every bit as much as your spouse!!! Well done!!!🇺🇸