Strength,
That is not love, that is fog talking. What 60 year old would contemplate starting over having a baby and getting married again when they already have a family unless they are running? Your H is deep in replay and you probably are wise to stay far away right now because what you will witness during this stage will not be pretty. I do not mean to give anyone any false hope I truly don't because some spouses will not wake up if ever until it is too late. I can only share that the 3 years that I was depressed life pretty much passed me by in record speed as time appeared to stand still. I cant believe I was in mental anguish and torment for that long, and that I tormented and had my H in limbo for over 3 years but I did.
What we have to understand is that the marriage, and all responsibilities concerning our lives as we know it has been put on hold, put on the shelf to be figured out at a later time when they are able to process and understand it. They are not able to make any real decisions right now so they don't. I know you probably are thinking but they made a decision to leave, and they made a decision to have an affair. This is both conscious and unconscious. If you have never experienced an addiction it would be hard to describe for you to get a true understanding of what it is like to know what you are doing is wrong and hurting the people you love but to feel compelled to do it anyway.
Think of having an outer body experience where you see yourself doing things, you want to stop, you don't want to hurt your spouse, your kids, but there you are hurting the people you swore to protect and love. It is like watching a dream of yourself doing things you would never do in real life...yet it is real life. Some people will block out these things because the reality of what they have done is too great. I blocked it out for a while and never addressed it or talked about it with anyone. Finally I felt a great need to talk about it, tell H what I was thinking and feeling during this time as he doesn't know anything about mlc and he didn't know I was depressed. I did a good job of fooling him and he believed I just fell out of love with him and wanted to start over with someone else.
I suffered from extreme guilt, H often says he never knew I felt anything as I did a good job of hiding my true self and feelings, and just running from him. Believe me despite what you see and hear from your spouse, they are not getting any real peace or joy. They stay up many nights thinking about you, they are tormented by the decision to leave you but they feel it is for the best (for now). They question there decision everyday and some are very close everyday to coming back home, but they know they are not ready so they stay with the OP when they know they are not happy and they know they have no future with this person.
Sometimes the decision to keep running and having you in limbo is about their own personal embarrassment for what they have done, lies they have told, the people they have hurt. They worry about what people will say and think if they come back, what will your family and friends think? Are your changes real, will it be different and can it last this time? They have to feel what they have with you is better than what they have with the OW/OM. The fear of losing you has to be greater than the desire to keep running. Until they get to this point all bets are off so you must put yourself in a new light so they can see you with a fresh pair of eyes. Hence giving this time and getting a life is very important if you intend to stand for your marriage.