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Author Topic: Discussion Reasons for leaving and justifications for behavior many MLCers give

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I have come across this article on "What is Midlife Crisis".  Very interesting and soooo MLC Script, thought I would share with all the beautiful souls whose lives have been touched by the medically non-existent/non-recognized MLC epidemic......apparently we too are living a dream/nightmare (definitely no fantasy 👺)!

My MLCer told me that he needed space and that I deserved better....yes I certainly did and do 😂.  Guess you have to see the funny side of their lunatic behaviors 😬. He also told me that he left me because I wore flannelette pyjamas pants to bed....excuse me they are comfortable and I stopped wearing the sexy lingerie after kids, for obvious reasons.  For many years it did not bother him.  They came off easier and quicker for intimacy then lingerie 💋For the record I now wear sexy lingerie....for me....he is missing out....after participating involuntarily in the MLCer LBS Diet (😜) my body is in good shape....he is missing out big time lol.  I am beginning to think that I might be good enough 👡👗👠👡💃👸 after having my self confidence destroyed and shattered.  Such a dark period for a once very confident woman to endure 😢. 

Looking back we see the pathetic excuses for what they are. Yes they appear to be script for so many of us. ❤





MLC Script: Reasons for leaving and justifications for behavior many MLCers give

I need space.
I need to be on my own. 
I need to go away and find myself.
I need to be alone.
I want a new life.
I’m becoming the man I always should have been.
 
I need to find happiness. 
It’s time for me to be happy.
I haven’t been happy for years.
 
I want to be selfish for once in my life. 
It’s my turn to be selfish now.
I’m tired of spending my life doing what everyone else wants.
 
I feel like I’m dying.
I was suffocating. 
You suck the life out of me.
If I didn’t leave, I’d die.
 
I had to leave.
I tried.
 
The marriage is killing me.
I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks.
 
I love you but I’m not in love with you.
I don’t love you the way I should.
I haven’t loved you for 10 years, but I was stuck and too lazy to do anything about it.
I never loved you.
I never should have married you.
 
We didn’t work.
We’re not compatible.
We drifted apart.
We’ve become different people.
 
We’re more like brother and sister.
We're more like roommates.
 
In my head I decided you don’t love me.
 
You changed. 
You never change.
Now we can become the people we were meant to be.
 
I felt so alone.
I’m so unhappy. 
It’s a crime to the universe to be this unhappy.
I’m not happy and you are the cause.
Nothing I did made you happy.
All I ever did was try to make you happy.
Nothing I did was good enough for you.
 
Why do you always have to be right about everything?
You emasculated me.
You didn’t make me feel wanted.
You pushed me away.
You abandoned me.
You don’t admire me.
You don't respect me.
You micromanaged me.
You were too controlling.
I’m nothing but a paycheck to you.
 
I didn’t abandon you guys, I still give you money.
You are the one in denial.
You need to move on. 
We’re over and you’re not accepting it.
You’re too independent.
Our marriage was over 5/10/15/20 years ago.
I am never coming back.
 
Why can’t I have both of you?
The affair is not why I left.
The other woman has nothing to do with why I left.
The affair is irrelevant.
The affair doesn’t matter.
The other woman listens to me
The other woman admires me.
The other woman adores me.
The other woman is a fantasy.
The other woman is a distraction.
The other woman makes me feel safe.
The other woman makes me feel sane.
 
You should date other people.
You’ll find someone better than me.
I’m not good enough for you.
I hope you find someone to give you the happiness I couldn’t.
I’m sorry I wasted your time.
I’m sorry I wasted so much of your life.
I hope we can be friends.
I don’t want to make any promises or give you false hope.
 
I’m not leaving the kids, I’m leaving you. 
I did not leave the children.
The kids will be fine with me leaving.
The kids are better off.
The kids are happier now that I’m happy.
I’m a better dad now.
I’m happier now than I’ve ever been.
 
I hope we can settle this amicably, without the need for lawyers.
Maybe we can get back together when all the debts are settled.
Posted by whatismidlifecrisis
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« Last Edit: March 11, 2017, 09:39:08 AM by OldPilot »
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
Vanisher Return Stories Link Thread #2 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.new#new

T
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Wow... thanks for that ! My h said 50 percent of these things.

I never slept naked before and now I do for me lol... I seem to do a lot of things for me now just like you do :) I wish I had taken my friend's advice years ago in regard to doing things for me lol. Hindsight is always 20/20

One thing that I know for sure is ... I will never ever lose myself again. You either like me the way I am or not at all...
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N
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Before BD and just after, my husband expressed many excuses in addition to his main reason. I have noticed already a lot of those reasons simply don't hold up. Case in point, my cooking was so terrible. Now he praises it and criticizes OW's. I just found out a few days ago that he has told OW his core reason for their relationship isn't even important to him.

They may really believe these reasons when they give them. But once they start to see the grass isn't greener on the other side, I think it all starts to fall apart like a house of cards
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Changing4Eva - I patiently wait for this day to arrive.  The OW in our situation is a heavenly angel in ExH eyes.  He refuses to listen to anyone who has anything negative (& truthfully) to say about her.  Believe me she has a colourful reputation around town. He is totally infatuated and goes in a total rage to defend her...hmmmmmm.   
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« Last Edit: March 11, 2017, 07:40:31 AM by Rossbren »
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
Vanisher Return Stories Link Thread #2 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.new#new

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Where does the "you caught me in a lie" fall?
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M 38
MLC H 42
Together 7 1/2 yrs
Married  6 yrs
Children:
 S 16 (dd) (Different father)
D8
S7

BD 1: January 2017 (D brought up)
 BD 2: Mid January (ILYBINILWY speech)
BD 3: March 2017 (OW confirmed- EA)/ Moved out
BD 4: July 2017 (Sexual relations with family member)
BD 5: August 2017 (Leaving country to meet OW

June 2018-Rebuilding our marriage one step at a time

November 2018-
BD 6- H "considering us not being together anymore"
BD 7- OW #2 confirmed by H family member
Living together but separated

December 2018
BD 8-H brings OW #2 to home

Done and indifferent

b
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Mine has said that :
         He hasnt been happy in years.
         He wants his freedom.
         He is bored and sick of the routine.
         Marriage shouldnt be this much work.
         He is an immature or selfish a##hole.
         He doesnt know if he wants to be faithful to me.
         He thinks im miserable to be with.
         All there is between us is sex.
          If it wasnt for the kids we would have never stayed togetger.
           Friends are family and you wont let me have friends.
           
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I just remembered a phrase my husband told the ow when they met

' I am in a partnership to raise four kids'.....Wow a partnership that is why he has abandoned his kids totally.  Why doesn't anything make sense?  Why was I not the first to know that our loving marriage was nothing but a partnership?
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« Last Edit: March 11, 2017, 07:23:33 AM by Rossbren »
Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
Vanisher Return Stories Link Thread #2 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.new#new

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MendingLoiness - that statement just shows you how messed up they are 😘
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Me 47
Him 47
OW 32
Married - 20 years
Together - 28 years
BD - Nov 2014 - reason for affair said I controlled his life, wore flannelette pyjama pants to bed and drove our family car 🤔
Moved in with Young OW and her 2 kids Jan 2015
Total Vanisher
Divorced Sept 2016
S21, S17, S16 (autism), D14

🌹🌹Let's be real...Bren is the only one who can do Bren. I'm the best Bren on the planet. Trying to turn a skank into a Bren? That will surely end in disappointment, if it hasn't already.🌹🌹

❤❤Family isn't an important thing.  IT IS EVERYTHING!! ❤❤



Vanished Return Stories Thread #1 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9088.0;all
Vanisher Return Stories Link Thread #2 - https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9378.new#new

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  • What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!!
Wow, my h also used about 50% of these to say we were done. It's like they all get a script to go by. I read midlife crisis for dummies and I swear my husband wrote it word for word. It'seems weird.

I have lost 40 lbs since January. He doesn't say anything but I see him noticing. Now, he is always trying to get me to eat.
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M 40
H 41
He moved out May 21,2017
Ow 41( his 1st cousin) moved her in May 23, 2017, she went back to her husband Oct 2017
Ow moved back with her 2 kids Jan 1 2018 even with courts cutting his visitation with his kids because of it
Ow moved out again Dec 2019 and is back with her husband Jan 2020
T-19 yr M-14 yrs
S14 & D88
BD  February 12 2017 & April 22 2017 (signs of MLC since 2015)
I filed for divorce June 2 2017 for protection- final hearing on our 20th anniversary (July 11,2018) divorce was final August 9, 2018

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8791.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8948.0
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=9189.0
https://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=10052.150

T
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Hmm... I don't think that any of us are the first to know we have problems in our own marriage. I am starting to think it is because they want the ow to feel pitty for them. Big bad mean wifie lol
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