Every illness is characterized by a set of symptoms. But not every sufferer necessarily has every symptom. This would explain the variations that exist.
I'd like to know how we can start a poll as a separate thread because I'd really like to know how many of the MLCers have a history of childhood abuse. There is research that shows childhood abuse has a lasting impact on the way the brain processes stimuli. Why doesn't it hit until mid-life? Well perhaps because with aging other changes in hormones or brain chemistry occur and combined this leads to MLC.
One could say it is an excuse for acting badly but there are certain symptoms that clearly are more neutral, like memory loss and even false memories, and an inability to estimate time periods, an inability to feel emotions.
I agree with Velika about the OP being a symptom. I know in my H's case he had certain fears as part of this whole MLC and the only way to solve that was through an OW. The OW was not an end in herself. She came AFTER BD, and BD was NOT ILYBINILY, it was "I'm afraid of my (even OUR) future and here's what I need to do to solve that." He has referred to her as a "tool." She's a means to an end. If she doesn't produce that end, he will dump her. I actually didn't produce the same end but he has absolutely desire to dump me for it. So she really is a tool. Maybe in another culture/situation it is couched in different terms but my husband sort of a stripped down and raw version without any illusions. He had some excuses on top of that but most of them are already fallen by the wayside and he would not be able to justify them anymore. Even his main reason in fits of anger he apparently has told OW he doesn't care about it anymore. I don't really know what is going on in his mind right now but if this really was something he wanted for sure, he wouldn't be like this right now.
Another thing that is striking to me is the stages. Think about a common cold. It starts with a scratchy throat, then progresses to congestion and achiness, then perhaps to sneezing and coughing, and finally you heal. Most illnesses have stages. As does MLC. I really was having a hard time trusting the process because while I have been able to see my husband go through the first 3 stages according to script, culturally there were reasons I had doubts about the rest of the process. Now that H has had his first awakening and is showing signs of depression and withdrawal, I am starting to see this as a process that has its own internal inevitability and no matter what the external differences, it's going to happen according to script. And that to me is further evidence of an illness.
There was some discussion on another thread where we agreed that it's hard to get something recognized as an illness when the sufferer feels what they are doing is what they want and need. I think that is a big part of it.
And I agree about therapists. What benefit would there be to therapists to recognize this as a medical condition, one that in theory maybe in the long run could be treated by medication? A therapist needs people to be in a state of constant trouble to make a living. And without it being recognized as a condition in the DSM and a condition without a known treatment, there's not much a psychiatrist or neurologist could do at this point.
Another issue is the way in which it is described. HB has done some amazing work describing MLC, but she doesn't use the same terms the medical community does to describe known psychiatric manifestations. Nor does her, "God told me this" really help further the cause, no matter how good her descriptions are, because any scientist reading the descriptions might say she is a raving lunatic. Even to a lesser extent RCR's descriptions fall short of the sort of detached and descriptive angle that is necessary. She's admittedly a creative writer. I think the work they both have done is great but not what is needed to push this forward in the medical community. Then you have sites like the PersonalTao site that sort of make it out to be a good thing that people can harness if they spin it right that don't help either.
How could all this be changed? I see two possible avenues. I think first would be to set up a web site devoted to MLC as a potential medical condition, not as a support site like this one. To raise awareness and attract like minded people who are interested in this. The second would be to lobby for research to be done. I think there would need to be longitudinal studies done but there may be existing long term study groups in some countries where they have collected data about people in childhood and then followed them throughout their lives and in midlife they could look at certain things that are possibly related to MLC. I don't think this is something you can easily study in the middle of it happening because most sufferers would refuse to recognize it. You need to look at the before and after in a large group of people, some of who are behaving this way and some of who aren't.
Why isn't MLC recognised medically and in society?
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