[Not Applicable]

For a while my H monstered in a voice like his father.

H has dropped many lines and he used to say to me all the time completely, and nicknames he used to use with me all the time are very rare to come out of his mouth etc.

He's also picked up some new lines that he says all the time, e.g. "You have poison in your mind" (which I have heard him say about other people and OW as well). I never ever heard him say this before a month or two ago.

[Loyal]

GonerinGhana, your H is projecting his innermost self onto others when he says things like that. My P has been doing that to me for years. He became a Vanisher on the 18th of April but was here  twice last week with witnesses  to collect something. Other than that I haveheard nothing from him other than several threatening and extremely horrible, projecting messages. Must admit I made a mistake and replied to the first few but decided  it`s better to completely ignore them as it`s obvious he`s only out to provoke me.

[nah]

 He even started talking differently when he started reconnecting with old friends from school. Different sayings he never used to say.

I wrote this on one of my early threads but the Leaver started to pretend he had a British accent. 

It seemed like a harmless joke the first time, the second time, the third time but then it was daily for over a year before he left.  It was just weird.

These are the kind of things that tell me MLC is more than someone just "falling out of love", I mean how often do you hear of adult men changing their personalities right down to their speech patterns?  Except for my husband, I didn't know anybody.  On here?  Oh yeah, mine did that too.

[Not Applicable]

Any British people in his past? Velika also experienced her H talking in the dialect of his stepdad so I wonder if it is them taking on the persona of someone else?

[nah]

Any British people in his past? Velika also experienced her H talking in the dialect of his stepdad so I wonder if it is them taking on the persona of someone else?

Nope, both of our entire families are from New England.

We sound like we belong on "My cousin Vinny".

[Loyal]

Another very wierd thing is that my P often spoke to himself in pidgeon English (his mother tongue is German) in the months prior to his departure. Perhaps this was an after effect from the drugs he took,  although it often happened after he hadn`t taken anything for weeks, which is frightening. Very sad, hopefully that`s not a permanent and irreversible condition.

[nah]

I'm just curious if this trait is more common for vanishers as opposed to other MLCers.

Seems to me that vanishers are more apt to completely strip their former personality compared to other MLCers.

Now I had the unique opportunity to see the vanisher at a distance b/c he was in a band and the band would sometimes post pictures and videos.

In one video (this was about 3 years ago), one of the guys had a surprise birthday party and they filmed the birthday boy walking into the room.  The Leaver was one of the first guys to jump out and I heard him speaking to the group.

He was speaking in his British accent.... yep.

[Not Applicable]

I'm around my H every day. When we are around other people, he definitely isn't himself. He's generally pretty nasty.

When we are alone, he is generally polite and nice. However, he is still not himself.

I can think of one evening in months and one morning that I can look back and say he was completely himself. Talking like himself, acting like himself.

There were other times that seemed pleasant enough but then when I reviewed them in my mind a few hours later I realized how truly strange and bizarre they were.

He may be here, but I feel like a widow because the man who is here is not the man I married and knew all these years.

[Loyal]

I'm just curious if this trait is more common for vanishers as opposed to other MLCers.

Seems to me that vanishers are more apt to completely strip their former personality compared to other MLCers.

Now I had the unique opportunity to see the vanisher at a distance b/c he was in a band and the band would sometimes post pictures and videos.

In one video (this was about 3 years ago), one of the guys had a surprise birthday party and they filmed the birthday boy walking into the room.  The Leaver was one of the first guys to jump out and I heard him speaking to the group.

He was speaking in his British accent.... yep.

[/Color

Nah, that`s a very good point you made and gives a lot of food for thought. It`s well imaginable that many if not all Vanishers have acquired completely new personalities. They`re living in a fantasy world anyway so what better than to pretend to be somebody they`re not. They don`t like themeselves and are running away from their true selves, so they most likely concoct up brand new personalities, which they think will come on good and impress OW, new friends, etc., etc., etc.. High Replayers most likely do the same when they`re not  home and/or in the company of their LBSers and families.

[sparklestar]

Trust me when I saw my H rapping in his car I knew there something more going on.

The change in words etc for my h seems to be linked to being young. As does the rapping. I also saw a shirt vid on social media if his new house and he was playing music we used to listen to when we were first together. In a way I use always thought of this as H going back to being a lad. Interestingly Tothetars's explained in her thread that her H looked for apartments in their old apartment block when they were dirt together - there's a definite going back to younger versions of themselves at play I think.

My H is always v detached to. Very emotionless in communication it's always perfunctory and almost business like. He also refers to Be by my first name which I have rarely ever seen him do in fact he never did it. It was always babe, hunny etc that part weirds me out the most.

I just wonder how much of their old life they are aware of on a daily basis are they just acting along? Do they realise the way they are behaving is weird? God I'd love to know! And whether any MLCrs that have come through it can explain more esp the vanishers...