[Velika]

I am American but didn't grow up in the States. I have also spent time living in two European countries and traveled a lot in Asia.

I would actually venture to say that it is the lack of social support, social cohesion, and community that might lead to a MLC among Americans, not an excess of wealth.* **

* Caveat that I think there is still some type of biological cause/susceptibility at play.
** Interesting side note that I met a homeopathic doctor last week who pointed out that Lyme and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome tend to be prevalent in the same geographical regions. If MLC is inflammation-based this is interesting and noteworthy and may offer an alternate explanation as to why it might be more prevalent in some parts of the country/world.

[Anjae]

I would actually venture to say that it is the lack of social support, social cohesion, and community that might lead to a MLC among Americans, not an excess of wealth.* **

It could be. But Americans aren's the only ones having a MLC. Several here are (or their MLCers are) from Canada Europe, Australia or New Zealand, to name a few,

When it comes to some European cities there also isn't much of a sense of community and as for social cohesion, Europe is super devided at the moment - we're lucky if another war does't break out soon. Not sure if you guys know how on fire things are at the moment in Europe -, and has been for several years, and, in cases, decades.

I don't know about social support. If you are talking state one, EU countries, at least some of them, have a good one. Neighbourhood level one has been eroding more and more.

Maybe the problem is not so much wealth of any sort in itself, but never being satisfied? That seems to be the case with MLCers.

* Caveat that I think there is still some type of biological cause/susceptibility at play.

So do I. But become super stressed and depressed because one thinks what one has is not enough, or because one is been over working to have tons of irrelevant things, ends up being a neurologic cause since burnout comes from excessive stress and depression is neurologic.

MLC, like other things/illnesses could have several causes. For example, pneumonia may be caused by viruses, bacteria, or fungi or, to a lesser degree, by other factors.

[Not Applicable]

Anjae-You make it sound like MLC is the new white man's burden.

As for your stereotyping all Africans and Asians as "too poor" to have an MLC, I read a very interesting article recently about how Angolans have been propping up the Portuguese economy for years.

If men can't afford to have two women in Africa, then how do you explain the fact that in Senegal, where the GDP per capita is a little over $1000 a year, half the marriages are polygamous?

Maybe in your country poor people get drunk, but in the rest of the world life is very different and people deal with their poverty in different ways. I mean for a poor man, more women, can mean more kids, can mean more hands to send out to work and earn money to support the household...Do you really think poverty encourages monogamy?

As for abuse in childhood, there was a poll on here a few months ago, and last I saw of it, about 80% of respondents said their MLCer had been abused as a child. And there was no option on the poll for "I don't know" and I suspect in some cases the LBS doesn't really know because the MLCer has kept it hidden from everyone. So the rate of abuse may be much higher than 80%

[Not Applicable]

I would actually venture to say that it is the lack of social support, social cohesion, and community that might lead to a MLC among Americans, not an excess of wealth.* **

I'm not going to disagree with you, but I would say it is the opposite that led to MLC in my husband. His MLC fantasies suddenly appeared when he went home for a family funeral and spent a week sitting with men who had achieved in life what he hadn't and I am sure every single one of them was asking him why not and what he was going to do about it. And we live in a very conformist society where what others think about you is very important and people think it is their business to stick their nose in your business and tell you what to do. And we were living away from all that until his MLC became full blown and he was never the kind to succumb to any social pressure until he was put in the middle of it by moving home to his hometown. He will never admit it was social pressure that made him do what he did but if their parents have sway over them after all these years even sometimes the parents are dead, then of course it's not so hard to imagine social pressure being hard for them to resist. And he still hasn't achieved what all the other men have and I have heard people asking him about it on the phone so I imagine he is under pressure every day from his peers, which is just fueling his MLC further.

[ChrissYAH]

X snapped one day after he had come from a funeral, although before that he was a mess and of course everything was my fault, anyway he's married now to her so no matter, I hope to NEVER see him again.

[bvFTD]

Thunder:

I am an observer on this site and I have noticed you are often the first one to respond to anyone who finds this site. You quickly tell people we will never understand what they have done and dismiss their cruelty as MLC antics.

You also have a quote underneath your name from an apparent MLCer that blames the spouse for not letting go. "From my experience, if (I will paraphrase now) spouse had only let me go earlier and stopped pressuring me I would have returned earlier."

Thunder: Please attribute the quote to who made it. What is her or his name?

What I will say is: Try to get your spouse to a doctor, a psychiatrist or a neurologist.

[xyzcf]

I am sorry Sam A, I am going to hijack your thread:

bvFTD:

Thunder:

I am an observer on this site and I have noticed you are often the first one to respond to anyone who finds this site. You quickly tell people we will never understand what they have done and dismiss their cruelty as MLC antics.

SamA first posted on HS May 11, 2017 so is not new to this site. BD was 2.5 years ago.

This is a site where people come to to find out about MLC. That is why they are here. If they wish to look at other reasons for MLC, they would go to another site. It is easily done in this day and age with goggle. But people are here because the concept of MLC resonates with what they are experiencing.

Thunder has many many years of experience with this. She is very capable of giving information and advice to anyone who is interested in understanding what happens with MLC.

You also have a quote underneath your name from an apparent MLCer that blames the spouse for not letting go. "From my experience, if (I will paraphrase now) spouse had only let me go earlier and stopped pressuring me I would have returned earlier."

Thunder: Please attribute the quote to who made it. What is her or his name?

I am curious...why are you asking this on SamA's thread..perhaps address Thunder directly. In reality, it doesn't matter who said this...obviously Thunder feels this is an important quote, regardless of who said it.

What I will say is: Try to get your spouse to a doctor, a psychiatrist or a neurologist.

Try all you want. As many members have stated over and over again, we cannot force someone to go see a doctor. Many MLCers are under a doctor's care. Many come out of their crisis and do not have any persistent or deteriorating pathology.

I am really unsure of the purpose of your comments which have nothing to do with SamA's situation and does not support the idea of MLC which is why our posters come to HS.

Again SamA, I apologize for hijacking your thread.

bvFTD, if you wish to respond to my comments, please take them to your specific thread and do not allow this thread to be taken over by your own agenda once again.

[bvFTD]

xyzcf:

It is almost as if you are ON ALERT should I comment. Does an alarm bell ring? You should not have hijacked Sam's thread nor chastised me for my comment. Please remind yourself of the Hero Spouse's Mission Statement. 

Thank you.

[OldPilot]

Posts moved here as per original thread owners request.

[Not Applicable]

xyzcf:

It is almost as if you are ON ALERT should I comment. Does an alarm bell ring? You should not have hijacked Sam's thread nor chastised me for my comment. Please remind yourself of the Hero Spouse's Mission Statement. 

Thank you.

And perhaps you may wish to remind yourself of the Legal Disclaimer?

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