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Author Topic: Discussion LBSer is the one that decides...

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Discussion Re: LBSer is the one that decides...
#40: January 15, 2018, 07:49:21 AM
Phoenix and Barbie, thanks for sticking with he discussion. Snowdrop you made some awesome points. Can you ladies go a little deeper? So that we can stay on topic.
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« Last Edit: January 15, 2018, 07:50:48 AM by Absolutely Fabulous »
-You just can't make this s*it up.
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Re: LBSer is the one that decides...
#41: January 15, 2018, 07:57:14 AM
Treasur, I appreciate what you have posted. I just wanted to point out that newbies have raw emotions at this point. This discussion isn’t to offend. Having said this, there are just some topics that are too sensitive for you all right now. This is one on them.

This is also the reason why many of us who have been on the forum for several years, or who have different points of view start with something positive and stop posting. We need a break from the drama. And it’s all drama, whether people want to admit it or not. This was supposed to empower and help those of us who are st this point. But, as per usual we can’t have one thread where we can keep it positive or moving forward. The discussion had to go back and get stuck. All because someone is at one stage and wants to keep everyone at it.

I’m going to continue this discussion. If it’s personal? Keep in mind what my initial post stated. No wonder so many people from when I first joined the forum have left. Tired of the drama.
Barbie, Off-road, R2, and Snowdrop. Thanks for hanging in there. XYCZ you already know how I feel about you, no need to rehash here.

This is a good topic and I’m going to keep it positive like I had intended. But know this: I don’t suffer drama well. You have been warned.
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« Last Edit: January 15, 2018, 08:05:58 AM by Absolutely Fabulous »
-You just can't make this s*it up.
-Not my circus, not my monkeys!

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Re: LBSer is the one that decides...
#42: January 15, 2018, 08:06:34 AM
I get that, AF, IDK if it's too sensitive as such, maybe too far from where I am currently after recent 'surprises' in my story...?
I probably see myself less of a 'newbie' and more of a 'middlie' now  ;D  but am happy to learn from different POV.
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

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Re: LBSer is the one that decides...
#43: January 15, 2018, 08:14:27 AM
Absolutely Fabulous, I find your response to "newbies" very hurtful, condescending and downright mean.

I don't understand why you are so angry at newbies for posting on this or any other thread they wish to post on. Your hostility towards those who are still in the early stages of this mess make me cringe.

You have confused directness with anger. Since you can’t get into my head, you may want to leave the mind reading to the MLCers. Thanks for your input, it’s amusing as always.
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-You just can't make this s*it up.
-Not my circus, not my monkeys!

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Re: LBSer is the one that decides...
#44: January 15, 2018, 08:20:06 AM
Your projected anger and deflection is noted. I will not be addressing you at any other time on this thread. If you don’t like that? Stay off the thread.

Well your not addressing me didn't last, did it?  :D

Since according to you I am closer to the newbie stage, I do have to say as a "newbie" I think you have NO CLUE what a newbie wants or needs from this forum and that your judgments of newbies are downright rude and offensive. But then I only can speak for myself based on my own reasons coming to this forum. Maybe it is you who is projecting your own past attitudes as a newbie on here on everyone else. I don't know. I have not read your threads as a newbie, so I could be wrong.

Anyway, I've got a dinner date with my H tonight, so I guess I should go brush up on my "anger" a bit so I don't disappoint you.  ;D
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Re: LBSer is the one that decides...
#45: January 15, 2018, 08:24:58 AM
AS I WAS READING , I THOUGHT YOU SOUNDED FAMILAIR. IM SORRY BUT YOUR TONE IS EXTREMLY VOLATILE AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN FULL OF HOSTILITY. YOU HAVE REMAINED BITTER. IF YOU WERENT YOU WOULD BE OK SEEING YOUR EX. NOT SAYING YOU DONT CARE EVER TO SEE HIM AGAIN.  JUST MY OPINION. I BELEIVE YOU NEED SO MUCH WORK IN HUMILITY.
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A
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Re: LBSer is the one that decides...
#46: January 15, 2018, 08:26:21 AM
I get that, AF, IDK if it's too sensitive as such, maybe too far from where I am currently after recent 'surprises' in my story...?
I probably see myself less of a 'newbie' and more of a 'middlie' now  ;D  but am happy to learn from different POV.

I agree with you there. I’ve read some of your threads. Thriving despite the chaos. The tone needs to change. Look at it from this angle: if you are seeing signs of “liminality” then you can understand more fully the point of the thread. As long as they’re in the tunnel, you can’t get to the core person. Denjef31 explained what she went through.

When you’re still grieving or have yet to grieve this is something you can comprehend. It just doesn’t make sense when you in the early or middle stages of the progression. LBSers can get stuck for long periods here as well. LBSers can stay stuck for as long as the MLCer if you’re not careful. That’s part of what I mean by the LBSer decides. Do you stay stuck in raw emotions, or move forward? We decide where things go while they’re in crisis. Not the other way around.

It’s all about the decisions we make while they’re completely out of control. If they return, and this is what newbies don’t get, we decide where to go from there. This is about, and has only been about: the ones that return. The whole point of the thread.
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-You just can't make this s*it up.
-Not my circus, not my monkeys!

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Re: LBSer is the one that decides...
#47: January 15, 2018, 08:29:17 AM
AND WHAT ABOUT THE ONES WHO DONT RETURN? HOW IS THAT THE LBERS CHOICE?
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Re: LBSer is the one that decides...
#48: January 15, 2018, 08:31:08 AM
AS I WAS READING , I THOUGHT YOU SOUNDED FAMILAIR. IM SORRY BUT YOUR TONE IS EXTREMLY VOLATILE AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN FULL OF HOSTILITY. YOU HAVE REMAINED BITTER. IF YOU WERENT YOU WOULD BE OK SEEING YOUR EX. NOT SAYING YOU DONT CARE EVER TO SEE HIM AGAIN.  JUST MY OPINION. I BELEIVE YOU NEED SO MUCH WORK IN HUMILITY.

I love this about this forum the ones that stay stuck judge those of us who have been able to move forward. Humility: you mean towing the line. Conforming is more like it. Sorry, but I’m extremely happy these days. New: life, job, my OD has reestablished our relationship, and my kids are happy. How are things with you? Still struck I see.
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-You just can't make this s*it up.
-Not my circus, not my monkeys!

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Re: LBSer is the one that decides...
#49: January 15, 2018, 08:33:39 AM
DID YOUR H EVER TRY AND COME BACK?
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