[Rising Phoenix]

It doesn’t make sense nas, but I feel once they are in mlc nothing they do makes sense. My h has not seen or spoken to his kids in 7 mths. It’s their b days in 2 wks as they are 3 days apart and after Xmas sneaking about who knows what’s going to happen especially as the kids didn’t want to send him a bday card 2 wk ago.

H family says he already thinks he’s divorced and is not interested in his kids. Okey dokey then! X

[SO EMOTIONAL]

I have a vanisher. After he made contact back in March 2016 he wanted to be friends. I said we could give it a try but he was a $h#tty friend and I told him that. He said he has been told that. It wasn't a month later he called me angry about one of his friends (a girl) blowing up his phone with text about me crying at the bar she tends. I told him that didnt happen, we fought and have heard (voice) from him since. I have sent him and email a year later and he told me to leave him alone and move on.

I ended up taking a job out of town for 9 months hoping being away would help me deal with it better but it didn't. When I got back his parents kept asking me to visit. So I did. That's when I found out he was engaged and getting married on an island after they saved up the money. I was devastated. I said to his mom he should get his stuff that is still at the house. She text him. He responded to her and asked why. She said she didnt know. He then asked if I was selling the house. She said what's it matter. He texted me a few hours later that he could get a truck but could only have it for an hour.  I didn't respond until a few days later. The long ride home got me thinking that I wouldn't be able to handle him coming to the house which made me anxious. I text him and told him to cancel the truck. He asked why. I said you haven't need this stuff for 2 years. He said sorry for bothering you. I told him he wasn't. He asked again if he could come. I didn't reply until the next day. No reply no nothing.

It is so hard to be with someone for so long and not be able to talk to them. I am upset that he doesnt think about me or wonder about me like I do about him. I also camt get over WEATHERED the OW is and makes me feel like I was the ugly one if he is attracted to that.

Sorry for the long post but this is my battle with my brain most days. Weekends are hard for me. I have been trying to do new things but of course I have a cold which makes doing things worse. I appreciate this forum even though I don't post much but get strength from reading what others have experienced that are similar to mine. 💖💖

[Shocked]

Hi So E,
I’m sorry to hear your story and your struggle. You have been dealing with this a long time. I hope finding this site will help you find strength and comfort for your healing!!!

[Nas]

So Emotional, I looked for your story and see that your BD was the same time as mine (mine was a month earlier, March 2015) and we have similarities in our stories.  My H also took 7 years to propose. 

I'm sorry to hear you also have a vanisher and yet another foolish MLCer who plans to marry the OW.  How long after your BD did you get divorced?  How long has it been since you've had contact with him?

[SO EMOTIONAL]

Hi Nas. The divorce was final December 22, 2015 and 7 days latter my mom passed away. I text h ok m she passed ans all he said was sorry. That posses me off because my mom was good to him.

I really haven't had contact with him other than the last text (November 2017) about him getting his stuff. We live about 20 minutes away from each other but you would think it was hours. I have not seen him at all.

I guess what keeps me cycling is he asked me to wait and the fact when he contacted me back in March 2016 he said he f'd up and made a mistake. I just dont know anymore.

Some days I feel as if I have nothing. My parents are both gone. I have older brothers and sisters but only one brother talks to me. Talking to him I get the "GET OVER IT" speech. I am more devastated over the MLC than I am about my mom.  How f's up is that?

Sorry for the long post and rant again. Thanks for the support!!

[nah]

I have older brothers and sisters but only one brother talks to me. Talking to him I get the "GET OVER IT" speech.

Oh yes, very common for the semi-vanishers to say some kind of version of this.  Probably second to ILYBINILWY.

He wants YOU to "get over it" so HE won't feel guilty anymore.

Doesn't work that way pal.  Your guilt is selfish and due to your own actions and feelings only. 

[Rising Phoenix]

I got the ilybinilwy 6 mths after bomb drop as was coming home. Then the other 9 times he left for other woman I got “ it’s easy at hers, you don’t understand as I work with her, and then you need to move on! Really! And you’ve moved on so well that you returned 10 times! Now a vanisher from his entire family includes his 2 beautiful Children. I don’t think he will even get them a b day card in 2 wks as he didn’t get one. He is teenager mode! I won’t cuz they didn’t. I’m not texting cuz the never text me and now they can only email apparently as ow got him a new phone and we not allowed it. Xx

[POOWOO]

I have not seen sign of mine since bd 
Aug 15 no messages nothing he just pays half morgage so complete vanisher.But I have now contacted him as I want to sell up and start divorce to protect myself I texted him and it took him 48 hours to reply

[Rising Phoenix]

Did he reply civil poowoo? Xx

[POOWOO]

Yes he did he replied he could meet next week when suited me.I feel so nervous meeting up but I will put my big girl pants on and just show how well I'm doing even if inside I'm screaming WHY