Yesterday we did Xmas at her parents place. Her birth father passed and her step father and I are very close. Car ride there we chatted and it didn’t go well. She said she no longer has issues w her childhood since she’s thought about herself over the last 2 weeks and has gotten thru it. Yeah - that sounds reasonable. Likely puts a nail in her counseling that she started last week - said she will try a couple more sessions - my guess is that over quickly. She was quick to say she can’t love me the way I deserve and I deserve better. I told her I wasn’t looking forward to the day and neither of us care for her mother ! She’s nasty and negative and I’m betting a major reason why my W is in this mindset.
We arrive and i take dog for a quick walk. FIL was on way and 30 min out. Only MIL was home. After a quick dog walk, I go in and grab a piece of ham from the food. My mother-in-law was preparing. She was not happy about it and gets frustrated when people pull food prior to being served to everyone. She got nasty As she usually does which I blew off and just went to a different room. At that point knowing my son and father-in-law wouldn’t be there for a little while I decided to go for a walk myself. Surprisingly after a 15 minute walk I get a text from my wife, asking me if she would like some meatballs that she had brought with us for part of the meal. She said she would warm them up and be waiting for me when I returned. That was very kind and something that she has not done in the past several weeks, especially something specifically for me. my father-in-law son eventually arrived, and he and I skied a few runs before coming in to do our gift exchange and eat food. This is where things took a turn, which was very surprising. I sat on a small couch by myself before I usually do, and my wife eventually came and sat next to me. Not during Thanksgiving. She gave me no attention and sat separately in every opportunity, and we have very little interactive conversations between us. During the gift exchange, we talked, laughed, she gave me chocolates that she was gifted to try and grabbed all of my presence and small gas and package in a box , so we were prepared for our drive home. We interacted she had joy in her eyes, it was definitely a glimmer of my actual wife that I have not seen in the past six or seven weeks. It wasn’t fake it didn’t seem like it was a bunch of effort , it seemed like we turned back the clock a few months and things were normal between us. We got through the day eventually it was time to leave. I asked her if she would drive the 70 minutes home and she agreed. Once we got the car cycled down it was more distant . We talked but not with the same lighthearted enthusiasm. There was no laughing no smiles. It was back to the show of my wife and her personality when it’s just her and I. My daughter was in the backseat with AirPods in so it was just us conversing. It was some small talk, but nothing serious and I didn’t wanna ruin. What was one of the best days I’ve had since this bond drop just changed my life. Once we got home, she sat in the living room while I put a few things away and decided to watch a movie. I went upstairs because I felt like she didn’t want company nor did she invite me in the evening wound down until she went to her bedroom for the night. What’s interesting is my son who came home later that night texted me and said mom was totally different today. Was she faking it , I told him no she wasn’t faking it. She obviously was cycling very high, and it was nice to see her old self for a short amount of time. It was hard for him because he said he couldn’t believe she sat next to me was interacting and was happy to do so. he was hoping that something clicked on our drive off and things had already returned to normal but obviously that’s not the case. Anyway, we have my family coming over today so there’s lots of work to be done with cooking and cleaning, which we will both do our fair share. We will first do our Christmas gift exchange amongst might be family, which will not include any exchange between my wife and I since I told her I didn’t feel it was appropriate or worth it.
Hoping today goes smoothly as well. It was crazy to see her snap back to herself for a couple hours yesterday - I almost grabbed her hand at 1 point , but i resisted! Life w and MLC sure is unpredictable- Atleast I had a positive surprise yesterday. I have no expectations that it was just blip on a brainwave that was misplaced short term….
Merry Xmas all ! May god bless us all! He’s the reason for the season !
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Topic: My story