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Author Topic: Discussion Anyone else have a vanisher? 15

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Discussion Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#90: April 26, 2018, 07:05:07 AM
You know nah, your H sounded a lot like mine.  Never Monstered or called me names, etc., I would bet if he hadn't found this girl he possibly would have come out of his crisis and been ok.

Having an alienator in their ear just complicated things so much.   :-\
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

nah

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#91: April 26, 2018, 07:30:27 AM
Yes, but mine was the type to find someone, if he didn't find this one, it just would have been another.

He was in a band, big boss with money, and access to many women.

Even this alienator he has, she's never said a peep to me.  I've seen her twice, she just turns her back and looks at the ground like she's afraid of me.  ;D.   She's not as crazy as some of the ones I read about on here. 
Of course, she's pathetic, they are all pathetic, just not over the scales like some of them.

I stil have a strong feeling, he's not done.  There will be more drama in the future,... I can feel it.



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H-55
me-53
ow-31
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#92: April 26, 2018, 07:51:32 AM
Hey, mine looked nah, trust me.  He is also a very good looking guy who women are always checking out.  He should have had no problem getting women, it just never happened for what ever reason.  Maybe wrong place, wrong time  idk

But it could have turned out completely different.

More drama in the future  Ya think?   ::)

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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#93: April 26, 2018, 08:36:50 AM
I'm not sure about everybody else, but I didn't get the typical "monster" that many LBSers talk about...
We don't have many conversations with the vanishers, and maybe that's why...

Same for me, xh said nothing much but that he felt nothing, was ill and wanted me not to give up on him/us....and then announced that divorce was the only option by text. I only recently got a bit of monster spew linked to his divorce. Mostly he's said nothing to me about anything. I assume he's said little or more negative things to others.

Five years of different experiences.  He's no longer someone I am proud to be connected to,...
So for me, it's not the things he did, even to me.  It's the person he has become.
If I thought he was the same man, I probably would still be standing.

Less time for me, but you've put your finger right on how I feel, Nah, as you often do. When I stopped believing that the man I knew was still in there and looked at who he is now...standing made no sense at all to me.

I'd like to mourn my H gracefully...just need XH to stop d!cking around and go away.  ::)
It's funny because there was a time when I wished my H cared enough about my existence to cling or even monster...until I met monster.
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« Last Edit: April 26, 2018, 09:08:55 AM by Treasur »
T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

nah

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#94: April 26, 2018, 08:54:28 AM
Quote from: Treasur link=topic=10022.msg664254#msg664254 date

I'd like to mourn my H gracefully...just need XH to stop d!cking around and go away.  ::)

Time will tell... mine just keeps popping up. It’s been a few months, so he’s due.

Lately, I stay generally neutral, just to see what he will do.

Kind of like a MLC experiment. Must be the scientist in me.  ;)

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« Last Edit: April 26, 2018, 08:56:45 AM by nah »
H-55
me-53
ow-31
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#95: April 26, 2018, 12:07:29 PM
I'm a bit like Thunder, I think that if my H had not crossed paths with this very determined OW, he might have got through his crisis. My H too is very good looking and worked away every week since we married but never ever cheated before. In fact, I heard through his first lady lawyer, who used to go out with him and friends in Milan his work town, that all the women looked at him and couldn't believe he would be alone and not make a move.

I feel I'm at a point where how I behave right now might determine where my H heads next. I just posted so I won't repeat here.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#96: April 27, 2018, 10:25:22 AM
Thanks Nah for your comforting words! I have not had any contact since my Ds graduation last May. Even then I never saw him and he left early so not to interact. Is he a coward or avoider or a vanisher? He’s still in Lala land. And I’m better off not hearing about his crazy.
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I care🤗
H 51
W 58
M 22 Years
2 AD both married from my first M
BD 12/15 moved out-in replay, vanisher, MOW in Atlanta
D 2/17

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#97: April 27, 2018, 10:27:56 AM
Thanks Nah for your comforting words! I have not had any contact since my Ds graduation last May. Even then I never saw him and he left early so not to interact. Is he a coward or avoider or a vanisher? He’s still in Lala land. And I’m better off not hearing about his crazy.

Sounds like quite a coward to me. 
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“The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you will be free.” ~Margaret Atwood

You can either be consumed or forged. It’s up to you; the fire doesn’t care either way.

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#98: April 27, 2018, 03:09:55 PM
Thanks Nah for your comforting words! I have not had any contact since my Ds graduation last May. Even then I never saw him and he left early so not to interact. Is he a coward or avoider or a vanisher? He’s still in Lala land. And I’m better off not hearing about his crazy.

Sounds like quite a coward to me.

He's a first cousin to my MLCer!  I've had one text message since last August.  He asked if he could go on my property to get something he wanted! 
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BD: 1/1/16
Together 15 years - married 7 years
His divorce final 7/26/16
Married the OW

After all, tomorrow is another day.

nah

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Re: Anyone else have a vanisher? 15
#99: April 27, 2018, 07:43:50 PM
Is he a coward or avoider or a vanisher?

He's like the rest,,, He avoids and vanishes b/c he's a coward.

A cow-void-sher.   :P
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H-55
me-53
ow-31
married 1986
BD April 6 2013 day after family went out for sons birthday.
I packed his bags two days later...semi-vanisher
https://heneversaidaword.com

 

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