[MoreWillBeRevealed]

Well, I went on a few coffee dates and met a few guys online. Here's the problem I'm facing--things go great and am hitting it off via messaging and text. But, my H only takes S5 every other weekend and a few hours during the week. I literally have this kid all the time. So, I think these men get impatient as I can't run out the door to a date. They lose interest and it fizzles fast. I am attractive, smart, witty, etc and haven't taken any loss of interest personally. Like my H, it's their loss and rejection is God's protection. But it's frustrating to chat and then it fizzle every time mostly because I don't have childcare. I do need to interview babysitters.

Oh and since I'm 47 and trying to meet men my age, it seems all these middle age men have signs of MLC on a small level. My radar is up so they can't get anything past me. Or they can't express themselves and fear verbal intimacy. What is every man in his 40s defective??? I have a platonic make friends who is 31 and he's awesome. Very comforting.

[beyondblessed]

MWBR.... my new man just turned 40 a couple months ago....and is so much more mature and in touch with his emotions than xh, who turned 43 in July.  The only emotion xh could ever express was anger and hate.  And was he ever a jerk.  If it wasn't all about him, then he simply gave it no attention.  It was either for xh or it was against him....there was no in between or compromise.

And Big B is the most communicative man I've ever been with.  If there's a problem.....we will literally sit and talk it out.  I sometimes lag behind on my end with working things out because, frankly, that was something xh and I rarely did.  Sad to say that of an 18 year relationship, but just one huge reason we are no longer a couple.  If anyone is the hold up in my new R, it's me.  lol

I've learned a lot this year both about me and also what a truly committed relationship is.  Not sure what I would call what xh and I were doing, but it wasn't love, that's for sure.  Never again getting snowballed like that....once was enough to make a lasting impression.  I deserve so much more than that.

[STP]

Dating is a strange thing!

Before I got married I dated ten women in 5 years. Most were single dates, and a few went as much as three weeks, no longer. When we ended, I never saw them again. Now 30 years later, with the internet in place, no one ever truly goes away! Back in the day, and as shy as I was, I was lucky to get a date which typically began with face-to-face interaction. Now, there are so many ways to meet and dates are potentially everywhere! Confidence is a huge factor in securing one and the ease of finding people is again thanks to the internet, super easy. Writing one another is a huge whereas back then it was hours on the phone.

Prior to the MLC, I saw myself as a one woman kinda guy and I was proud that, I had never been with anyone else. I built all sorts of 'rules' in my head and followed them. With the advent of BD #2, I dashed all the rules and opened the gate to anything and anyone. Everyone has a story to tell and everyone likes attention and touch. I want to experience as much as I can! I am a serial dater, seeing multiple people. On average I have a date every other day. There is little seriousness involved. It's much looser and casual than old me woulda liked. I don't need to bring flowers or try to romance them into liking me. Those are relationship builders and casual daters are not wanting that. Maybe it puts pressure on them to react in kind or think "whoa he's getting serious"?  It's just different times for me. I'm learning a lot, living in the moment, and having fun. With such frequency, it's easy to FEEL like being in a relationship, however with no HEART invested or talk of commitment, it's like a connect-the-dot, going from one, to the next. In time I will get a clearer vision of the picture.

[hawk]

Hey Swift.
Nope your not an old fuddy duddy at all . But , lknow l'll get myself in knots trying to explain this and probably everyone will disagree with me bc these days women are encouraged to go for it.

But for me personally and l've noticed this over and over and not just since l've been single again,right through. But if a guy is truly interested as long as he gets the right vibes then he'll go after her. So if she has to be the one then he usually just isn't keen enough anyway deep down.
So, no matter what the trend , me l still believe it's better all round for her to maybe show interest or put out the right singles yeah , but let him do the chasing to start.

And , there's also something really classy and very sexy , about the old fashion way and too forward can be a bit off anyway tbh.
l've been seeing someone for awhile and she uses this term,now it might sound weird but she's European and sometimes she's just like this old old soul from centuries ago. Love that.
A man needs to conquer  me .  That's the way she puts it and the worth she places on herself. l love it ,it just  self respecting and old world but , he should want to conquer the women he loves .
Yet she's far far far from fuddy duddy.She has tats and piercings and loves the coolest things and music, gutsy, her tastes , the lot.
My ex was also very similar and would never chase or be the one to be forward to start.

Soooo , ease up on yourself bc really , if he feels the right stuff and gets the right vibe from you he'll be onto it ,don't worry and he won't mind having to work abit for it either , he'll probably actually respect that.

[hawk]

As gooda a way as any l reckon ST if that's all you feel like.
Meantime the dots will just connect themselves when the time comes if the right girl was to show up.

But yeah ,l found it's just a bloody weird world out there now when it it comes to being single. Attitudes and stuff too , really bizarre after being out of the scene so long.
And could they even create any more date sites for example , there's 100s of them.
And l'm not sure if it's really the way these days or maybe it's just the ones that don't have a social life of know many people but it seems like even those that do know and meet a lot of people are still using date sites or computers or forums or some ways or another internet are the standard thing these days. Don't know.

Weird .l'd take the RL way myself any day if you can get it. But l was using them too.