[Anjae]

I don’t know… around here it has become more and more common to people to admit they are/have been depressed or have a condition like bipolarity.

NA, the brain chemicals are already changed/altered when someone is depressed, bipolar or has any other mental illness. Of course not all med for mental illness are anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds. A bipolar person will not be levelled without meds no matter how much their lives are quiet and their food choices healthy. Same for a very depressed person. Those alone will not do. There is no problem with the med themselves, there is a problem in wanting to use the same med on everyone/the same way. It does not work. When Prozac was popular most doctors would go for it. My husband cannot take Prozak.

Psychiatry should always be tied to neurology, blood and other tests should always be required. Each person is a person, the treatment has to be slightly different according to situation. Of course a life and food change can help a depressed person but that is not enough. And, for example, for bipolarity or schizophrenia psychology/therapy do not work. Their cause is not behavioural, it is neurological.

How is a depressed person going to change it internally? They are not even capable of have a straight thought…

See no problem with regretting something we may have done. It will prevent us from doing it again. Only see a problem when the regret prevents from moving forward.

Early last year me and the marriage were on husbands number one regret list. Did not found it depressing because I already knew that was part of script. And, anyway, I also regret had married him, so, no problem. It does not makes me feel depressed, it happened, that is all.

Frankly, I also think bad economies in addition to aging and questioning life choices leads people to feel like their life or their choices were bad.  I think some people blame people and some blame society and some just try to ignore it by pretending it doesn't exist.

Fully agree.

Is a competitive person or a 'perfectionist' more likely to experience MLC?  Would this also lead to them not admitting they are depressed or guilty feeling?

Don't know about the first. My husband said many times, even before the crisis hit full mode, that he was depressed. And, in moments of clarity, he had apologise for all he had done, so I think that, even if in desguise, is a show of guilt. It wasn't. of course, the heartfelt remorse MLCers have latter on the crisis.

[FindingJules]

NA - That describes my H to a T.  And while I have always acknowledged and addressed my bouts of depression, he has never "gotten" it and just wanted it to go away for me.  So, I figured it out on my own, talked with healthcare professionals, embraced it and moved on (with drugs when needed, with diet and/or lifestyle changes when needed).  So....I am thinking he thinks it just doesn't apply to him - have thought that all along.  He VEHEMENTLY denied the MLC - even after our counselor said outloud to him that it was classic MLC.  H sees that he is unique and special and this has only happened to him...oh dear....he IS unique and special, but not in this way.

I have even advocated for mental illness to be more accepted.  Our son has Asperger's and I work (in HR) supporting this field.  So H has done A LOT to push this off and not applying to him.  LOOK INWARD BABE!!  That's what I want to say....

Oh...AND....the other thing I want to say is NO ONE ELSE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY...that is a CHOICE he has to make.

[Thundarr]

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/01/21/16619375-dad-kills-estranged-wife-then-self-at-daughters-16th-birthday-party?lite

Horrific story, but given the fact they are right around the right age and JUST celebrated their 20th anniversary really makes me suspicious.  A couple years ago this would never have crossed my mind, but so sad for the kids either way.

[hobo1]

Yea, agree with you Thundarr, everytime I hear about a D or separation involving folks in their 40s, i think MLC, and when I find our more about it, I'm usually right!

[Braveheart]

Yea, agree with you Thundarr, everytime I hear about a D or separation involving folks in their 40s, i think MLC, and when I find our more about it, I'm usually right!

Yep, all that and Peri-menopause kicking in as well at the same time. I'm really surprised it does not happen more often.

[kikki]

http://www.upworthy.com/a-couple-gave-their-son-a-cute-little-puppy-so-why-am-i-sorta-creeped-out?c=ufb1

Pretty gobsmacking that this ad had to be created, due to the extent of the problem.
Think we need to create a similar one re family/spouse abandonment.

[Ready2Transform]

Agreed. Just looking at this, I have no clue why I thought my husband's FOO, who went through animals like this after the cute wore off like they were disposable paper towels, would have any problem at all discarding me.  After all, love, commitment, and loyalty aren't different based on whether you have two or four legs.

[Jagger]

This is a very sad truth. Volunteering at the animal shelter and fostering abandoned and rejected dogs was one of the ways I GAL right after bd. We , dogs , myself and my kids were  kindred spirits sharing a similar experience. it helped is to heal.

[kikki]

Agreed. Just looking at this, I have no clue why I thought my husband's FOO, who went through animals like this after the cute wore off like they were disposable paper towels, would have any problem at all discarding me.  After all, love, commitment, and loyalty aren't different based on whether you have two or four legs.

Sadly, that is a very chilling reality to accept Ready.   

This is a very sad truth. Volunteering at the animal shelter and fostering abandoned and rejected dogs was one of the ways I GAL right after bd. We , dogs , myself and my kids were  kindred spirits sharing a similar experience. it helped is to heal.

What a great idea Jagger.