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Discussion Re: Book Recommendations
#130: July 02, 2011, 07:13:12 PM
Enjoyed migh be the wring word. I felt comforted that he was realizing how wrong he had been. That his actujs if throwing his family away fir some stripper was completely crazy. When Dr Jay said how his wife Julie always treated him with love it reminded me of the things we are told here . Detachment seems o be the golden ticket here in MLC world.  I think I am going to reread it again for better insight. This is the best mlc affair book I have read . Everyone here should read it. Honestly think if we can attend a seminar or lecture they have it would be worth it.
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I made a choice to finally let go, because I can't stand the pain, it's time for my last tear to fall and smile again.
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Re: Book Recommendations
#131: July 03, 2011, 08:56:53 AM
good4you,

I agree strongly with your take on the book.  It has helped me understand my XH thinking as he was always the biggest giver in our relationship to the degree of putting himself last.   I do see his ability to become extremely selfish b/c of his 30 year devotion to me and the kids.  I have a chronic health condition and he was always my biggest support thru trying times.

This book also validates everything I believe is possible for M.  It is possible for remorse and making amends.  I just have not experienced this from my XH who has re-inserted himself with AP and her daughter and has moved back in with her after losing his 4th job in as many years.  He was an extremely admired executive for our 31 year M and now he has lost his career, his M, his honor and respect from 3 adult kids (they have no relationship while he is with AP), his home, his 2 dogs, his loving extended family who respected him for his selfless care of his family until his A and defection.

Thanks for replying and helping to validate my feelings re: this wonderful book.
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Re: Book Recommendations
#132: July 11, 2011, 09:39:29 PM
Bumping this up in hopes that others have the chance to read this book. It is really one of the best books that I have read since this ordeal happened .

Surprised by Love...
they have a website and videos you can watch too. Also Dr Jay has written a series of articles for various magazines
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I made a choice to finally let go, because I can't stand the pain, it's time for my last tear to fall and smile again.
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Re: Book Recommendations
#133: July 19, 2011, 12:59:55 PM
Going to bump this up once again. Letting go just picked up the book . Think if we all can find a copy let's meet back here and post our thoughts on Dr Jay and Julie's experiences.

Thanks Buggy for posting a link to their story :)

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1245.0;all

need new link
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« Last Edit: January 16, 2017, 06:47:10 AM by OldPilot »
I made a choice to finally let go, because I can't stand the pain, it's time for my last tear to fall and smile again.
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Re: Book Recommendations
#134: July 19, 2011, 01:09:25 PM
Just got it TODAY and skimmed... read my reaction on my thread.... IT IS A PAGE TURNER and under $20 dollars, so no need to wait... everyone go get it. It is definitely not all clinical and dry... it is REAL PEOPLE Feeling, Responding and Reacting. Get it.
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Re: Book Recommendations
#135: July 30, 2011, 07:40:53 AM
I ordered this book and am about half way through it now....I would recommend this to ALL us LBS's

Its a great insight into the mind of what I believe to be a man in MLC...and you get to read their
thought during this entire mess....

You will be enlightened and maybe even shed a few tears...but well worth the read!!!

I ordered it through Amazon.com
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Me 45
H deceased 11/09/2015
D17
Married 16 yrs Together 25 yrs
BD 09/10
living with OW 12/10
OW moved out 03/11
H moved home 06/11
Affair ended 05/12 again and again and again
H Blocked xOW from contacting Him 10/12
Ended ALL contact with xOW Dec 26th 2012 (So I thought!) I filed for D June 10th 2013
Moved out.

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"Never, ever be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well being of a person is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way."

"What if you woke up today with only the things you Thanked God for yesterday?"
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Re: Book Recommendations
#136: July 30, 2011, 11:33:41 AM
I've just finished this book and he certainly sounds like he is going through MLC.  I thought it was helpful having the emails they actually sent to each other at the time so you could see how it progressed.  I don't have anything like that contact with my ex but I did find it really helpful to hear the MLCer's thoughts at the time and how he felt as he started to realise what he had done.
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Re: Book Recommendations
#137: July 30, 2011, 02:56:50 PM
Has anyone read both the Men in Midlife Crisis and Women in Midlife Crisis books?
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Re: Book Recommendations
#138: July 30, 2011, 04:18:21 PM
I watch the series "unfaithful, stories of betrayal" i remember their story... I was thinking wow... They really sum it all up. Think I'll have to get the book because the series really explains both sides extremely well.
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me : 44
H : 38
D20, D11, D7
BD 3/18/10
Found about OW 3/21/10
H moved out 5/13/10
5/16/10 OW found her fiancee hanging over their A
5/31/10 I miscarried our baby
10/1/10 H moved in with OW
10/13/10 I filed for D
I/5/11 H started to see me several times a week.
11/21/11 H moved home
in and out of mental institutes
2 /17/12 I filed a restraing order
3/8/12 H filed a D
D finalized 2/12/13
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Re: Book Recommendations
#139: July 30, 2011, 07:17:02 PM
Quote from: Rebel Yell on July 30, 2011, 02:56:50 PM
Has anyone read both the Men in Midlife Crisis and Women in Midlife Crisis books?

Yes,  I have read them both

The Men in MLC is where HB got the 6 stages of MLC from.
Women in MLC, DGU quotes all the time and their are a few good parts in it.
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