[Trustandlove]

My H also read the 5 love languages, also completely agreed with it.  That was nearly 2 years ago....  it does come up in our conversations sporadically; I'm hoping it's all seeds planted....

Like you, covenantkeeper, for me it was also like a lightbulb -- it seems so simple, how could I have been so ignorant?  H said as well that it 'wasn't rocket science'. 

I've used those ideas to great effect with my children in the meantime, and have also thought hard about my own parents.  And have been learning to communicate my own needs as well...  (although the time isn't right to do that with H yet). 

I've also talked about that book with lots of my friends, we're all at that midlife transition age; others aren't going through this, but they've still taken the ideas on board to strengthen their own families. 

[MarkedandHealed]

5LL had the opposite effect for me. My H read it, agreed with it, and then hit MLC and years later when I brought up (before bomb drop but in the anger stage) that I purposefully spoke his LL and I would appreciate it if he did the same for me, he told me he didn't believe love should take work, it's too much to expect and sneered at the 5LL idea.

[Trustandlove]

I hear what you are saying, M&H.  Even though my H agreed with the principles, when this last came up he still said that love shouldn't be work, etc.  He was taking the line that one should automatically WANT to speak the other's LL, and if you found yourself not particularly wanting to, then it was all wrong, etc., etc., etc.   But he still hasn't totally discounted the LL idea, which I'm going to take as positive. 

[MarkedandHealed]

I have read most of the books already recommended, but there is also another one that I think merits being added to the list. It's called Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage by Mark Gungor.

FWIW I downloaded several of his radio podcasts to my ipod and am listening to them today. He's funny, very real, and gets his point across. I like him.

[Writingmom]

Henri Nouwen Turn My Mourning Into Dancing
Brennan Manning Ruthless Trust

[OldPilot]

I just got another book from the library that I will be reading.
It is called "Unholy Ghost" - Writers on depression by Nell Casey.
It has contributions on it from 23 different writers.
It comes from another list of books on the other website.
Will report back when I have finished, or maybe in the middle.

Also bumping this thread up for other contributions.

[stillhere]

Not specifically about MLC, but it is helping me on my journey.

"Happier" by Tal Ben-Shahar.  Harvard Professor that teaches a class about happiness. 

[LifeGoesOn]

I found these most helpful so far:

to help me 'get a grip' and move forward:
Deepak Chopra "Why is God Laughing"
Andersons "Journey from Abandonment..."
Bruce Fisher "Rebuilding When a relationship Ends"
 and his "Loving Choices".

to understand the affair:
Shirley Glass "Not just Friends"
Helen Fisher "Why we Love"
Harley's "Surviving the Afffair"
Elizabeth Landers "The Script" (tongue in cheek...funny)

to understand communication:
Chapman "5 love languages"
Sue Johnson "Hold Me Tight"

to understand depression:
Daniel Amen "Healing Anxiety and Depression"

[StillStanding]

I'm currently looking for the O'Connor book at a reasonable price.

I found a copy at Powell's, the big bookstore in Portland, OR, for $5. You can go to powells.com and ask to be notified when they get a used copy in.

I just did a quick Google search and found this:

http://www.valorebooks.com/Search/ISBN/9780725103743?utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=Froogle&utm_source=Froogle&date=07/26/10

it's about $8.50 including shipping.

[StillStanding]

Psychology Today has a good series of articles:

• Better Living through Cognitive Dissonance
  
• Disarming The Jealousy Complex
  
• Love without Hurt: Boot Camps for Compassion
  
• Marriage and the Power to be Happy
  
• Victim Identity: I'm Not Okay, You're More Not Okay
  
• What Kind of Partner Do You Want to Be?
  

Here are books that I've read and can recommend:

• The Solo Partner by Phil DeLuca
  
• The Divorce Remedy and The Sex-Starved Marriage by Michele Weiner-Davis. (I like The Divorce Remedy much more than Divorce Busting, and haven't gotten a copy of The Sex-Starved Wife.)
  
• Getting Back Together by Bettie Youngs and Masa Goetz
  
• His Needs, Her Needs by Willard Harley
  
• The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
  
• For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn
  
• For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men by Shaunti Feldhahn (this one almost made me cry at times because I kept thinking "Yes! That's it, exactly!")