[Shocked]

I think that would but a satisfied smirk on my face if they need therapy already life is not so terrific in Lala land!!!

[nah]

Since we can't find our husbands....

What amazing things have you done since he disappeared?

I sold my way too big for just me house and bought a 125 year old disaster of a house to rehab....

And I go on vacations without planning where to stay.... He would never do that. 

[Rising Phoenix]

Fab nah!
I have decorated my whole house which I would never of attempted and he didn’t do even though very capable. Put up a fence in my front garden and took my kids on holiday for the first time on my own.

Doesn’t sound that great really, but I am damn proud I can wAllpaper and change light switches and sockets.
Am hoping to learn to ride a motor cycle as always wanted to. Xx

[Nas]

Well, I moved by myself from the frigid northeast to a beautiful little town down south, got a gorgeous apartment overlooking an amazing salt water pool and outdoor kitchen area.

I started to feel a little better about myself.  Standing on the moving walkway at the airport on my way to my new life, I saw a business man in a nice suit stop at the end and just stand there the whole time I was on the walkway.  I figured he was waiting for someone or just stopping to figure out where his terminal was. When I finally got to the end, he said, "You are gorgeous."

I worked at home in my new apartment, so I spent my lunch hour in the pool.  I found an amazing new hairstylist who was funny and had the best southern drawl and wanted to hook me up with some of her firefighter husband's single coworkers as soon as I told her I was ready to date. 

The apartment complex had a 24 hour gym, so if I couldn't sleep, I worked out.  I was getting into the best shape of my life.  I even got hit on one day while picking out avocados at the grocery store (granted, it was a guy I had no interest in talking to at all, but still...)

Of course, within 6 months I was diagnosed with advanced cancer and had to pack everything up and move back to the cold, cold northeast. 

But hey, it was a great 6 months by the pool.

[CallingHeart]

Love this question, so here are my thoughts:

- I packed up my car and my dog and took a solo tent-camping trip to Carlsbad caverns. I still recall this trip and think - wow! I did that!

- I continued with karate and obtained my 2nd degree black belt status. wow! I did that! (this was big for me. I almost quit because karate was tied to BD and for months I couldn't go and would sit in the car in the parking lot, sobbing and not actually going in to class).  My instructor would drive me there and she was so sweet. She said I was doing a great job just getting myself there and she was OK with me practicing cryrate until I was ready for the rest of it. LOL.   

- I presented at a major healthcare conference. wow! I did that!  I have an amazing job and the project I worked on was singled out as a big success.

- I've decorated for and attended the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd year birthday parties of 5 great nieces and 2 great nephews. awww! I did that! And I have enjoyed a lot of family time I may not have been as available for.  One of the twin boys loves his Aunt CallingHeart and loves me to hold him when I'm around. I don't think we would have this closeness if ghost was there too.

- I've drastically improved my credit score and I've been approved a HELOC and started improvements to the downtown townhome.  cool! I did that!

- Cleared a strip in the hill country property to start the process of getting electricity up to the clearing to the camper.  hmmm! I did that! now what?  (this is a slow process but I'm not really focusing on it too much it's work!! and I'm ok with camping w/o electricity... until it gets too hot in the summer )

- Reconnected with a group of about 15 girl friends from 20 years ago.  fun!  I did that!  I now meet monthly with them for dinner and bunco.  They have beautiful homes in the burbs and I'm hosting the next gathering in downtown.  Last night I told them to lower their expectations for the next meet up and we all just laughed and laughed!! Then I came home and looked around and realized I have a beautiful home too.  It's just vertical  (3 story) but it's lovely and they are looking forward to the adventure downtown next month.

- I'm so much busier now and feel like my life is full.  There is laughter and good times with family and friends. 

[Treasur]

Wishing my vanisher would re-vanish gently but...

- went skydiving (LBS numbness means no fear at 15000ft!)
- went kayaking in Florida
- haven't cooked for months
- burn scented candles constantly (as OCD risk man has gone)
- moved to my little house by the sea and wake up to the sound of waves and seagulls
- sold and cleared two houses on my own
- survived a car accident and cancer surgery

Not bad now I look at it actually!

[nah]

Doesn’t sound that great really, but I am damn proud I can wAllpaper and change light switches and sockets.

Never done switches and sockets myself.  That's pretty awesome.

Am hoping to learn to ride a motor cycle as always wanted to. Xx

I have thought of doing this too.  Now is the time.   

Of course, within 6 months I was diagnosed with advanced cancer and had to pack everything up and move back to the cold, cold northeast. 

But hey, it was a great 6 months by the pool.

I live in the northeast too.  Damn this spring sucks.  Nas, I pray you get healthy and back to the South and go get those firefighters.

- Reconnected with a group of about 15 girl friends from 20 years ago.

After reading about the five regrets of the dying,.... I did this too.  What a blessing to have old friends back in our lives.

- went skydiving (LBS numbness means no fear at 15000ft!)

WOW!!

- survived a car accident and cancer surgery

Not bad now I look at it actually!

Double WOW!!

[Milly]

I ran my family winery completely by myself and saved it from going bankrupt, got my D through high school and into university in the UK, gave her a big (70 kids) 18th birthday party (summer after BD), drove by myself from Italy to Northern Ireland where my mother had moved 8 months before she died. I wanted to salvage some of my mother's stuff before my sister threw it away or gave it away, sold and moved out of a large home into a small apartment, resolved numerous financial problems, created a job for myself, learned to stop controlling everyone, I can now buy scented candles and flowers because OCD H is not here, and I do buy the most scented ones I can find just because I CAN!

More things I do for me: get facial treatments, buy lots of make up, pretty underwear, lots and lots of creams and brushes and things for my bathroom, flowers or a plant every week, something new to wear about once a month and anything I fancy that I can afford. No more denying myself treats. No more overdoing for anyone not even my kids. Laundry dirty? Do it yourself, because when I did it for all of you and folded your clothes and put them away like a 5 star hotel you all accused me of being a control freak and a manipulator!

I'm definitely thinking a lot more about me now.

[Shocked]

That is a big question!
I sold my family home, quit a great job, and moved two states way. Got a new job, new home and am working hard at meeting new people. Celebrated a significant birthday on Monday. What wears me out the most is fighting off being lonely and acting like having a MLC XH just like any other D. Hiding the deep scars and pretending I’ve moved on.

[Yellowroseoftexas]

Learned not to be afraid (not sure why I was so scared to be without him).  Feel 100% adult. 

Decorated (probably over decorated) my townhouse girly and frilly.  Estrogen overload. 

I'm most proud of holding my family together when I was hurt and wounded beyond belief.  My children saw a strong mother who they could depend on.  A woman that had hell  unleashed upon her and she withstood the storm.  I found God.