[megogirl]

Just read our textbook MLCer, Ben Affleck, may remain married for some time!  It's been 3 years of feet-dragging.  Could it be because *neither* of them really wants it to be over?

Now if he could just get rid of the hoochie....

[Disillusioned]

I just dont understand the footdragging behavior.  My STBXW had admitted EA at work (although I believe more) monstered at me for over a year as we lived at home, threatened divorce over and over, took off her ring and told me to date other people, set up 1 mediation and told me over and over to leave, which i eventually did.  Since moving out in March, any further movement on D has only been initiated by me.  She reacts in anger, more monstering and then moves forward.  Then stops again.  But says shes happy to be getting D'd and repeats the same litany of ills that I visited upon her in marriage.  If they want a damn D so bad, why dont they handle it?  I know  I would, if thats what I wanted.  Instead, I feel forced to continue to push her to do somethimg i still dont want to do.  It's like adding insult to injury.

[Treasur]

Read a VF interview with her and she seems to be like any other LBS here fighting hard to accept what she didn't choose, focus on her kids rather than dating and act with grace. Frankly way too good for her h who at least then she obviously still loved at the end of the article they ask her about her h's full back tattoo of a Phoenix  -very MLC right? - and she sidesteps it beautifully by saying she doesn't intend to be ashes...

[megogirl]

Yes, Garner is clearly still the Queen!

I've followed their story since even before I knew all about MLC/my own BD. (Like...when he had alienator #1/the nanny.)

I'd pick up tabloids "The Divorce is OFF!", etc. And she would say things like "I love Ben.  I never wanted this for my kids", etc.

Then I learned all about MLC and can identify what all that was....all Ben, CYCLING!

[Anjae]

Affleck is, and always was, a cheater (and not long ago it was with the kids' nanny). He and Jen got together by cheating. So, I don't really care if he cheated on her. That is how she got him. And, I think she also cheated on someone to be with Ben. She was just very good at playing the nice wife and mum, lots of money to gain from that facade.

She is probably the one who does not want the divorce. Around here everyone knows who Ben Affleck is, but pretty much no one knows who she is. He is world wide known, from what I get, she is well know, or sort of, in the US.

Also, very rich people divorces are complicated. Lots of money, assets, etc.

Why LBS on HS worry so much with cheating Jen is a mystery to me. She was OW. Any OW Ben may have is what she was when they got together.

[Velika]

I absolutely think Affleck is having MLC of the exact type as my ex. We are almost on identical timelines and I have even taken screenshots of Affleck that later I come across and think are my ex. Bizarrely they even dress the same, wear their hair and beard the same, and even have the same pattern of weight fluctuation and even expressions over time. Affleck also has history of this in his family. Like my ex he moved just a short walk away from his ex. Same type of masculine OW.

I don’t think Jennifer Garner was an OW. He wasn’t married when they met. She was divorced.

[Anjae]

Bizarrely they even dress the same, wear their hair and beard the same, and even have the same pattern of weight fluctuation and even expressions over time.

That is also Mr J. And a several more MLCers and non-MLCers that drink, don't sleep much, and lead a party style life.

I don’t think Jennifer Garner was an OW. He wasn’t married when they met. She was divorced.

Ben was still engaged to J.Lo when he and Jen meet and Jen was still married at the time. Both Ben and Jen soon were separated from their partners. So, maybe not OW, OW, but when they meet there were other people in their lives.

Ben has cheated on Jen a ton of times, nanny included. Same for his drinking and gambling, he has been banned from casinos for counting cards. She knew how he was, he never behaved that good during their marriage. The separation was mostly for show.

Remaining married suits both of them. However, it is not know who didn't follow through. Maybe none of them did.

Does any of this means Ben is not having a MLC? No, it doesn't. But his problems/addictions didn't start with MLC, they always existed. That is very different from someone whose addictions and cheating comes with MLC and has  a surprise to the LBS.

[megogirl]

That's the VERY first time I've heard of any "J-Lo" connection...I really don't think that happened.  Because the tabs would have been ALL OVER that.

I just think Affleck went into MLC, and found two different alienators.

[Anjae]

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez were engaged. The engagement ended in 2003. They were a high profile couple by then.

Affleck current woman has been around for years. Jen knew. He is a known cheater. Being a known, or serial cheater, does not mean someone is not in MLC.

Affleck problems and addictions are well known.

[Velika]

I actually think they were both single when they met. He has many of the factors we see in our spouse (family history, probably some narcissism/identity issues, insecure) but there is undoubtedly also the physical and behavioral symptoms that are also so uncanny to this.