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Author Topic: Interacting with Your MLCer No Contact IIII

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Interacting with Your MLCer Re: No Contact IIII
#90: December 16, 2019, 05:53:02 AM
Would love to be a saint but that ain't happening.

Must admit I probably won't talk to husband.  I have to feel safe before I will open up and share. I don't know if I can trust husband so more than likely, it's a no for me dawg. 

I have a very good friend that is walking this journey with me.  She knew husband pre MLC.  She encourage me to open up and talk to husband.  She also tell me I have resting 'b' face and that I'm extremely hard to read.  Husband may put signals out but since I give no feedback, verbal or otherwise  he's unsure how to proceed.  I will proceed with extreme caution.  That my nature. 

As for  Christmas, I'll probably stay home and enjoy the day alone.  Our children can hang out with their dad.  Daughters live with me so I see them daily.  Son live with his dad but may have to work.  I would love to skip the holidays.  Bah humbug from Texas!!!!!!!

I see so much back and forth movement and frankly, I'm just tired. 

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Married 21 years
Bomb 💣 Drop O7-2014
Husband Left 09-2014
Divorce 2015
S27; D23; D20
No contact 2015-2018
Contact and Positive communication-01-2019
Unsure if he’s dating; Unsure if I'm still standing
******************************
“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,          
When Sorrow walked with me.”
Robert Browning Hamilton
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Re: No Contact IIII
#91: December 16, 2019, 06:11:00 AM
Tired is ok, my friend.
I spent the Christmas of 2018 ignoring it. I lit the fire, bought nibble food I like, read a good book, went for a long walk and watched a couple of non Christmas movies. And that is ok.

It sounds as if you just need a break. Do that, my friend. It's ok to put what you need first.
PLenty of time to figure out new boundaries for the new year  :)
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg
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Re: No Contact IIII
#92: December 16, 2019, 01:34:38 PM
Definitely need a break.  From husband and toxic mother.  She is another story.......

I appreciate everyone's comments.  IRL friends have no clue what it's like going thru this. 
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Married 21 years
Bomb 💣 Drop O7-2014
Husband Left 09-2014
Divorce 2015
S27; D23; D20
No contact 2015-2018
Contact and Positive communication-01-2019
Unsure if he’s dating; Unsure if I'm still standing
******************************
“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,          
When Sorrow walked with me.”
Robert Browning Hamilton
M
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Re: No Contact IIII
#93: December 16, 2019, 01:39:51 PM
Yellow, it's so true that RL people have no clue what it's like for us to go through CHristmas. Thank goodness we can come here to talk.
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Married 1989, together since 1984 
BD May 2014,
D26, D23, S16
OW Physical Affair same one. He and she said she turned 34 the month of BD. She turned 52 this year.
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Re: No Contact IIII
#94: December 16, 2019, 01:54:37 PM
Yeah someone told me I have resting B face
I came back with.."Yeah less wrinkles that way." ;D
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
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Re: No Contact IIII
#95: December 17, 2019, 02:51:54 AM
That's funny In It. At my age I'm not sure I care.

Well folks thank you very very much.  How do lbs maneuver MLC without a place like this?
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Married 21 years
Bomb 💣 Drop O7-2014
Husband Left 09-2014
Divorce 2015
S27; D23; D20
No contact 2015-2018
Contact and Positive communication-01-2019
Unsure if he’s dating; Unsure if I'm still standing
******************************
“I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow;
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,          
When Sorrow walked with me.”
Robert Browning Hamilton
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  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact IIII
#96: December 17, 2019, 04:51:22 AM
Well some of us dealt with extremes of whatever this (or that) was. Back when I first posted, I didn't get quite the same advice I give out.

But the back and forth thing you mention and being tired? You are not required to turn yourself into a total exhausted mess to try to deal with this. That's when NC will serve you.

Most articles I have read online advise going NC right after any break up. I guess it's up to each individual to decide whats best for them. But after you have had enough of the mind games, mixed messages, monster, lies, behavior and everything else? This is the one thing you can do for you.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
e
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Re: No Contact IIII
#97: December 17, 2019, 05:48:22 AM
I went no contact right after bd. It's been 4 years. I like my life now. I dont worry about him at all. My kids know not to speak of him in my presence. Every once in a while he peeks his head out or reaches out to me via email. He doesnt have my cell number. If he asks a question I sometimes answer but most of the time I dont. I just can't handle this situation with any contact.
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Re: No Contact IIII
#98: December 17, 2019, 06:55:19 AM
Good for you em! You saved yourself a lot of emotional devastation and heartache. None of this is worth any ones sanity and peace.
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There are two ways of spreading light:
Be the candle; or the mirror that reflects it

Don't ask why someone is still hurting you; ask why you keep letting them.What you allow continues.

At some point you have to get sick of going through the same sh!t.

Women are NOT rehabilitation centers for badly raised men. It is not your job to fix ,parent, raise or change him.
You want a partner not a project.
e
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 490
  • Gender: Female
Re: No Contact IIII
#99: December 17, 2019, 07:15:23 AM
In it
Yes I did. Until he starts to act like an adult, I have know interest in him. Every few months he trys up act like a parent to my 11 year. I'm a parent 24/7. So until he can do that. I told him dont speak to me. He said he is afraid of me. I told him you should be. Lol.
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