[Bewildered survivor]

It took me a very long time to not care about what Ow posts. It’s funny because to me, she posts way too much about their problems. I personally feel if I have problems I don’t air them on social media. She’s told the world he was unfaithful, tells the world he spends too much time with his ex, tells the world when they argue and the world can also see how much her appearance is changing within their time. But then when things are good she’ll post “Don’t judge my relationship” it’s funny because I always thought it was just my Ow who was bat sh*t cray. Appears not. 🤣

Nope Sachat3 you are not the only one with bat sh*t crazy OW.  Why dont you block her on social media?  That way you dont have to see her posts and if they are for your benefit (which it sounds like they are) then she wont have an audience and therefore prob stop. 

I came off all social media soon after BD because I discovered OW was stalking me (when I didnt even know she existed) and was posting pictures imitating poses of mine in pics.  When I went back on a year later I blocked her and all her family and friends so they cant see me and I cant see them.  Im sure if I hadn’t I would also see posts similar to what you are seeing.  When I first looked her posts were full of words you just dont use on social media and emojis and love hearts....like a 50 year old teenager.  I dont need to see the drama.  I dint block H as he didnt post much and I thought he might want to see pics of the kids.  However since an incident with me and OW coming face to face and her insecurities surprise surprise H posts a pic of him and OW declaring his love for her.  This just happens to be before he blocks me, so obviously for my benefit and driven by OW’s insecurities. 

We really dont need the extra drama in our lives.  Get of the stage or out of the audience as best you can. 

[sachat3]

Unravelled - that’s exactly how I feel and my H is similar. He pays a VERY fair amount towards me and the children. And if ever an unexpected expense comes along ie- my TV broke and he got me a new one. Today my washing machine broke and he’s getting someone to fix it for me. So I don’t see her as a issue to what my H did to me, their PA started after BD and him moving out but I’m not sure about EA. I did tell OW that H wasn’t faithful to her with me and she never said “he cheated on you too” which I expect she would have. So to the breakdown of BD and all that I don’t blame her. However I do feel that she completely clings on to a man who will never fully be hers. And why? Nobody else was.

Bewildered - I have blocked her. I blocked her. Her sister and her friend. I even blocked H. But my Instagram is open as my children are brand reps for some companies and I promote false eyelashes but I don’t post anything which OW could twist. However, with her posts. She went to university with people I went college with so we have a few mutual people. I’ve told them many many MANY times not to show me her posts unless it’s absolutely vital. But that’s another reason I’m selective in what I post and I only post selfies and my children really as I’m sure if they send me her posts they could send her mine. It’s funny you say about Ow copying your poses. So did mine. I couldn’t work out or that was her just stalking too much and not realising or if it was done on purpose. I even wore a really nice outfit and a friend asked where my top was from. I told her and within a few weeks Ow was posting with the same top. I’m now at the point where I think I’d you want to stalk me and copy me. Fine be my guest BUT I’ll pour as much water on the fire as I can and not petrol.

[sachat3]

Before I blocked H he never really posted about Ow. However I assume once I blocked him he started posting about her as he deleted all his followers. Including his own family as he doesn’t want them seeing her.

[mightymama]

You HAVE to live as though they are never coming back. Over analysing everthing will make you crazy and stuck yourself. By the time you realize that its really over then you will look back at years of wasted time. You only get one life so live it and accept the Situation for what it is.


Thats what I do now, Whyus.  H is acting’s little less foggy but I just tell myself that he’s gine and not coming back.  I’ll go crazy if I figure he is.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

You HAVE to live as though they are never coming back.

I think the caps need to be LIVE!

Including his own family as he doesn’t want them seeing her.

Of course, when she fell out of the ugly tree, she hit every branch on the way down.

It’s funny you say about Ow copying your poses. So did mine.

My new wife noticed the same thing about her ex's ow. Copied everything she did, same outfits and poses too!

I swear I think he must be totally lying to her, she is a complete moron, or she is just in it for what she can get as long as it lasts.  At the risk of offending those of you for whom this is so painful, I almost find the situation laughable at this point.

I truly think all three apply. And yes, I find it very laughable since the other choice is to cry.

(((Ready)))

[sachat3]

Yes without being a bit of a b!tc# I do laugh at OW a lot. Part of me feels sorry for her on a human level, as I think to have that low self esteem and nobody around you to support you must be hard BUT they have a chance to get out and help themselves. They choose not too

[mightymama]

Yes without being a bit of a b*tc# I do laugh at OW a lot. Part of me feels sorry for her on a human level, as I think to have that low self esteem and nobody around you to support you must be hard BUT they have a chance to get out and help themselves. They choose not too

I know nothing of my H's OW.  He told me at the BD that it is an emotional affair and he didn't want to tell me her name so I couldn't take her to court to sue her for destroying a marriage.  (eyeroll)

[Anon]

Unraveled, I have wondered so much about the cruelty in my OW. I boil it down to them being so bitter in life that they get pleasure from seeing someone (us) suffer instead of them for once.

It's even worse than this with so many OW/OM.   They validate themselves and their worth by being the chosen one over the long term marriage partner.  Their interest in your spouse has almost nothing to do with loving or even liking them.  It has all to do with the fact that the object of their affection is married and emotionally weak.   They sense that and would avoid more self assured men in favour of the emotionally weak men.  When they 'win' over your spouse their self-esteem soars.  It's one of the few ways they can raise their self-esteem.  Unfortunately its quite temporary so they have to keep upping the ante by taunting the lbs and flaunting their superiority over you on social media.  If it continues a wedding, then baby is next on the agenda.  It's a life long game.   It's also why these women are so hard to get rid of.  They cannot,,, will not... lose.   So they hang on for dear life because so much is at stake.   And NONE of it has anything to do with love.  It's all do with making themselves feel something is ok with who they are.   It's a game they can never win,, but they keep trying anyway.   

[Treasur]

I have always assumed that if my xh was foolish enough to marry her...which he did within weeks of finding out she had stolen from him and lied and a couple of weeks after his divorce was final...that a baby was the next thing on the list if she is able to make that happen. I have no idea whether that is what my xh wants now although he never wanted to be a parent before.

So I guess they run from one situation where they feel 'trapped' but ironically - looking from the outside (although I don't look so have no idea really) - perhaps create a situation where they are actually in reality more trapped than they were and with/by someone who has not loved and valued them for years....or I suppose it isn't MLC at all and they have the new happy life just as they ordered lol.

[Rising Phoenix]

Wow anon, I think you may have hit the nail on the head there. My h ow actually posted a quote once that’s said that’s she doesn’t lose but wins. On the rare occasion I have seen my h in the last 18 hrs he doesn’t look happy and the few times he saw the kids they commented that dad was always on his phone having to ping his location to ow and swearing at his phone when ow text or staring out of the window in the coffee shop he would take them to. But like you say treasur do we really know. Xx