[OffRoad]

The whole "you are not happy" thing....exactly how long had he been me to know this. Although, when someone screams at you for three days straight, I probably wasn't too happy at that point. Here, let me attack you, then tell you you are unhappy......just FUBAR

[ChrissYAH]

total nut jobs my x thrived on drama he loved causing trouble he loved to provoke like a child just to get a reaction or attention, then he would throw it back at me that I'm a 'trouble maker' and he is a 'good person'

[FromAbroad]

Amazing how much they are alike.
Let me see, she said so many things:

• ILYBINILWY: I am empty inside, there is no love.
• We are having problems for 2, 5, 10 years.
• We never loved eachother, we just had a need for one another
• There's no point in working on the relationship, because we don't love one another.

Very strange since she always told me I was her present from god. An angel send to her and she would never never want another man if things don't work out between us.

• You are selfish
• You are dominant
• You never had any interest in me
• You don't love my family
• You never help me with anything. I have to do it all on my own.
• My friends don't like you, they just condone you since you treat me right
• We never do anything as a couple or a family. Maybe once a year.

Maybe a little projection here. I worked full-time owning my own company. However I brought and picked up the kids every day to and from school. I drove them to all activities and friends and put them in bed. She on the other hand was sleeping. I helped her out with a lot of chores, drove her to all kinds of places since she has no license. Helped her out with school checking all essays on grammar. We send 300$ each month to her family. I've bought her family a house and payed for weddings. And the list goes on and on.

We never did anything? I've checked the bank account since she made me question myself. 200 payed activities in the last 5 years not counting free activities. We did everything together.

And then a lot of WTF statements

• I know you love me, but I don't want you or maybe I do. IDK.
• I just want to do it on my own. (then 1 week later: I can't be on my own. I need somebody)
• I've always been depressed and now it's errupting.
• Lets divorce and then we can be together again in a year of 2
• You said you will always love me and help me out. But look at you, you don't even let me have an OM.
• I am seeking a laywer tomorrow and I am out of here. (2 minutes later) Maybe we should wait till after the summer. (2 minutes later) I can't do this. Stay with me till the end of the year and we will make a decision.
• Blaming me for everything for at least an hour of 3. When I finally got a word and told her, but I didn't do this or that: "See all you can say is me me me, look how selfish you are"
• When kicking me out: I am coming home and am going to demolish the house and going to finish you off. I will ruin you and take everything you have. (2 hours later after me leaving) Do you want to come over for diner?

These are just some examples. The list goes on and on. For almost 3 years it's been one crazy thing after another.

[ChrissYAH]

'I love u as the mother of my children' which is a variation of ILYBINILWY

HOLY $h!te....I got that exact. same. thing.

I've never mentioned that phrase before here, because you are the *very first person* I've ever seen to echo it....so thank you, I suppose? (or, thank him? lol)

Yes he really does love me as the 'mother of his children' thats why he abandoned them and shacked up with a post menopausal hag who thinks she can get pregnant at 55.

[Treasur]

My silent runner said very little...

I am broken and numb...I love you but I can't feel it...please don't give up on me
Which became
I can only concentrate on my job and my mental health so I can't talk about anything else...I just need space...but maybe we can work on being a team again as long as we don't talk about anything but the here and now
Which became (within a few weeks)
Divorce is the only option
Which became
Of course there is no one else...we're just different people now so we need to move on
Which became
I think we should talk every other day at 6pm on the phone for 30 mins as long we don't talk about (insert long list)...what do you mean when you said 'no' to that?
Which became
Ow isn't what you think...of course I'm not living with her/ engaged/getting married, my psychiatrist and me both agree that would be stupid...I  have no idea how we got into this mess...you need to let me go and we need to move on..I think maybe I am running away from myself....we can talk properly after the divorce is done when we can trust each other more...I'm not happy, maybe I can't ever be happy but maybe we can talk and figure out how to make things right again...I wish none of this had happened...but we need to move on...I don't accept your paradigm that we won't talk again after the divorce so I'm ignoring that.

As FA said, one bit of lunacy after another. And it is pretty impossible to have any kind of sensible discussion with someone who lies all the time even about ridiculous things. In the end, I just reached the point where it seemed futile to even bother. Couldn't stop him lying, couldn't stop him simply not giving a s$it about me...but I could stop letting him talk to me.

It was a time of madness and most of the madness didn't belong to me 

[ChrissYAH]

X told me he doesn't know whats happened to him, that he felt dead inside sounds like the brain wasn't fully dormant at the time, he had some idea that he wasn't the full quid, not that he really was prior to losing it completely, he's gotten worse in the past 5 yrs, when he ran off he was looking for someone to marry by the looks of it, so he's thinking he's done his good deed now he saved a poor desperate spinster who was looking forward to putting on a wedding gown and feel special for the day.

[Father5]

Script:
ILYBNILWY
We are just good room mates
Its not fair to you or to me
I no I am being selfish
I just don't want to be married
I want to be alone
I should have never let you move in (12 years ago)
I have been out of this relationship for years

WTF Moments
 It's not the affair that is hurting the family its how you handled it

I am just a Golden Girl I just need to be alone. (Affair 3 weeks later)

Your being such a baby about this it's just sex

The way you behaved was just scary !

[PJ Ames]

You're not as funny as you used to be. (before BD)

I'm thinking about asking PJ for a divorce. And then later: I'm just thinking about it. I'm not planning on it or anything.

I like myself as a Mom and at my job, but I don't like who I am as a wife.

I've lost myself.

I have nothing to offer.

We're living in two separate realities.

I'm TRAPPED.

[terrified_in_TN]

I really would like to put this crap all behind me, and luckily I don't remember many of them any more.  The ones I do remember, I don't remember them verbatim any more, but thought I would share with the forum since much of what I got was either exactly what everyone else received or at the very least, a variation on the same theme:

ILYBINILWY
I have to take one of the kids with me.  Imagine how it would look if I left all my children behind.
I have been taking care of people my whole life.  Its time for me to have fun.
Its okay to be selfish sometimes.  (My take:  Yea it is.  So long as it doesn't hurt the children/family).
This isn't about you.  Its about me.
I have to leave.  If I stay I will end up resenting you, and I don't want to do that.
After we are both remarried to other people, we should have an affair with each other.

That's about all I can remember.

-T

[Skates]

I also used to get stuff like:

I don't feel like you have loved me for really long time.
I feel like I'm replaceable.
You don't support me.

Then i get the contradicting:
You aren't trying to reconnect with me.... 
Followed by you are smothering me.

Whole things is just so frustrating, i can freely accept that i could have done things differently. There were a few times where she gave me examples of things that bothered her and i was like, well i can see your point i really can.  BUT at the same time, can't you see it from my point of view?  Example - you weren't supporting me because you didn't say blabla, i followed up by saying well i guess i could have said it that way and im sorry i didnt.  But at the same time, i watched the kids for the weekend while you went away.  And since you didn't want to work full time anymore, in a way I was paying for it all.