[KeepItTogether]

Sexy Disney Princess. No words.

Oh yeah, this one wins too.

Also, I had to Google ayahuasca. Wow.

[Nerissa]

Sexy Disney Princess. No words.

Oh yeah, this one wins too.

Also, I had to Google ayahuasca. Wow.

I know.  That’s my H.  And I’m coming to Tuscany.  Are you scared?  (I’m fairly normal, I promise)

[KeepItTogether]

Sexy Disney Princess. No words.

Oh yeah, this one wins too.

Also, I had to Google ayahuasca. Wow.

I know.  That’s my H.  And I’m coming to Tuscany.  Are you scared?  (I’m fairly normal, I promise)

Quite excited to meet you! And hey, my H is an MLCer after all, though clearly not as creative as some....Still, not much scares me anymore. 

[megogirl]

The black eyes.

That was, is, and always will be my final diagnosis/confirmation.

[Anjae]

"The biggest thing that made you think this was 'MLC'?"

None. I had no clue I was dealing with MLC. Not until a friend that have had one told what was happening.

Sigs something was very wrong with Mr J:

- Drinking
- Djing
- Not sleeping
- Depression
- Anger
- Affair
- Monster
- Extreme mood swings

After he left
- Physical violence
- Even more extreme mood swings
- Monster
- Taking all our money
- Open relationship with OW1
- Everything else he has been doing since

[sparklestar]

Pre BD
- suddenly acting younger, saying new words and phrases and even explaining that’s what ‘young people say’
- younger friends
- obsessive gym use
- new tattoos (including my name a month or so before he left)
- bought a sports car
- obsessed with looks and started taking bizarre selfies
- Increased drinking and cocaine usage (didn’t find that out until later)

BD / post BD
- can’t feel anything for anyone including parents, feel numb, looks at photos and can’t feel how I did then, I know I should feel something but I don’t speech
- wants to be free, go recalling, snowboarding, on holidays, do what I want when I want answer to no one speech
- not attracted to anyone, don’t know if relationship is right for me speech
- referred to us as ‘not going out anymore’ (not married)
- recorded a video of himself rapping to ‘stormsy’ (uk rap artist) in his sports car with a designer watch in shot. Was as ridiculous as it sounds.
- had a melt down a few months after BD and confessed to my best friend he’d firetrucked his life up and referred to OW as ‘that girl’ for months
- on the few occasions I spoke with him, totally detached it was like dealing with an alien.
- shark eyes like you wouldn’t believe
-lies, lies and more lies
- pretty much a vanisher from day 1
- is now the colour of mahogany and a ‘lad’ that acts and lives a lifestyle that is very different to what he did previously
- continues a cocaine habit and is always out, drinking rarely at home (apparently I haven’t spoken to him in over 2 years directly)

[megogirl]

recorded a video of himself rapping to ‘stormsy’ (uk rap artist) in his sports car with a designer watch in shot. Was as ridiculous as it sounds.

Thank you for that resounding LOL.

Because only a few of us LBS'ers can truly LOL @ that.

[Ro828]

1) When he started dressing like a throwback of the 80s
2).Wanting a tattoo
3) Alcohol/Drug Use
4) Paranoia/Depression
5) Screaming "he's tired of taking care of everyone!  It's his turn to be happy!"
6) The financial devastation he did to himself
7) The anger, hostility, mood swings
8)The blank stare
9) The threat of committing suicide and wanting to die
10) His anxiety that caused him to move to six different homes/apartments/cities all within two years
11) Restarted his teenage chewing tobacco habit
12)The lying over inconsequential things
13) Viagra prescription
13) The purchase of the classic car.  Then the new truck.  Then the hidden jeep he bought for, ya know...
14) The OW he got involved with who has a 14 page felony record along with the gaggle of children she has from different men.
15) Lastly, he changed absolutely everything in his new life (career, doctors, dentist, where he lives, vet, friends, etc.) that reflects nothing of his old life. 

Jeez...I  could go on but think I'll stop here.

Hmmm....do you think it's a crisis or someone who just wanted out of the marriage and have a different life because sometimes I really wonder.

[megogirl]

When he started dressing like a throwback of the 80s

"Not there's anything wrong with that!"  (Sorry...I'm just kind of an 80's junkie)

The laundry list of reasons that you believe it's MLC are all script, script, script.

[mightymama]

As I am a bit passionate about Reality right now  ....it reminded me of a time when coming to HS was a kind of sanity check. That something really not normal was going on and it wasn't something I was imagining....I don't need that now but oh my word, HS definitely saved my sanity for a good while.

Thought it might be helpful to have a quick reality/sanity check thread lol.

Looking back, other than the ILYB/sudden BD announcement/ow or om stuff....painful but could be 'just' an affair 

What was one of the biggest things you saw your spouse do that told you clearly that they were in some kind of significant crisis that looked like an MLC?

Mine was early on when he did not recognise himself in a photograph. I thought he was being metaphorical..talking about how he felt...but he not only didn't know it was him, he actually thought it was a photo of me with some other man. Beyond weird.

That kind of thing plus the fact that he became less rational, more self centred and harder to communicate with as time went by rather than calming down and becoming more 'normal'. It was quite useful (to me) actually when I could trust my own instinct that trying to talk to him like a normal adult was pretty much futile bc I could feel that he wasn't. Not normal for him but tbh not normal for normal folks. It did take me about 6 months or so before I got that though, probably bc he was under psychiatric care and I thought that would start to have an effect. Hmm, nope.

For me it was how he was sobbing and begging me to find a therapist for us and then just for him.  He gripped in to me for dear life sobbing for help and then he was just gone... cold, ghosting me, telling me he didn’t need help, etc.