[Standing Strong]

Who is the "Chump Lady"?

I've seen this a couple times.

-SS

[Jackolar12]

SS, she’s totally anti- cheater pants and has a small army of chumps that have been cheated on. Google it up SS and read the forum blog, we are a lot more tolerant of our former spouses and try to understand what drove them to blow up everyone’s life.

 She (aka Linda)has indicated previously she visited Hero Spouse and In my interpretation of her words we are misguided sad sausages and should get a life and forget about the cheater. Perhaps she has a point... I often feel I was too trusting with my Ex but I can’t operate any other way, perhaps I’m meant to be single, good job I have lots of hobbies to keep me busy.

[gman242]

Jack, I feel the same way. I've been doing a lot of reading over the years and I think we're just different types of guys. Who are wired differently anyway.

My xw was the only person I felt I could talk to. I feel like most women I've met prefer to be emotionally available or just want a guy to take them places. I don't mind the latter, but I can't handle shallow talk forever. The women I feel I can talk to, aren't available or there isn't mutual interest. I think it takes a special kind of person to appreciate us and for whatever reason, or spouses stopped for long enough to notice and there was a mutual spark. I sometimes worry that's all I'll ever have had.

People who cheat and move on because they want to, are gone. People with issues such as an MLC look back over their shoulder and tug on anchor chains. We don't have to be with someone else if we don't want to, but I don't think that means we have to stop moving on either.

[Thunder]

Chump Lady came here a few years back pretending to be a LBS, so she got support and advice, then went back to her site and made fun of everything.  It was very disrespectful and I would never read her advice again.  I checked it out once when I was told what she did.

She may be good for pissed off LBS's, they could maybe get something from her.  They can all be pissed off together.  LOL

[OldPilot]

I think the basic advice that we give is  not that much different than what Chump lady says without the anger and vitriol.
I have been here for 10 years and likely ended up exactly where Chump Lady says.
Point being - detach, and keep moving forward.
Then YOU decide where you want to be.

JMHO

[gman242]

I agree OP.. I came here too because I felt i could do without the vitriol. I think we all end up in the same place regardless, it's up to us which path we take to get there.

[Jackolar12]

gman we must be brothers your thoughts are my thoughts and i have often felt different to the rest of the pack, a lone wolf sort of thing.

[terrified_in_TN]

... She (aka Linda)has indicated previously she visited Hero Spouse and In my interpretation of her words we are misguided sad sausages and should get a life and forget about the cheater. Perhaps she has a point...

Don't feel too bad about her might having a point.  There are posters here that absolutely do NOT like her at all, or the message her website tries to send.  If you have never heard of her, Chump Lady is the ANTI-Hero spouse.

I actually do read her site from time to time.  I think her message has an audience.  For certain if you have been married for say 30 years and you discover your spouse has been cheating all 30 years of it...I don't think hero spouse would be the best fit for that person.

My personal view is HS is often too "aw the poor MLCer, what they must be going through!", and Chump Lady is a bit too much "Firetruck them!".

I read both to try and strive for a sense of balance.

-T

[Jackolar12]

Thunder I can remember when she did it and RCR replying to her. It wasn’t very diplomatic of Chump Lady to run us down but it’s her choice I suppose and it’s our choice to put cat crap under her car door handles hehe🙀 not that I would do that folks👀. I go there when I’m angry at my Mlcer just to read the vitriol in the chumps posts.

[Thunder]

Yes Jock, I read replies from RCR and stayed on her site.
It was good she got called out on her own site.