[Jackolar12]

I’m not very savvy on how to delete or transfer posts as yet gman, it’s ok leave it wear it is but it might confuse others. My posts were up to 153 that’s why I left a thank you gman but they have gone down now. Once the threads full I will start another topic, good luck in your moderator role, I’m off back to the vulnerability thread as I’m unfortunately highly qualified in that subject and wish I wasn’t.
Kind regards
Jack

[mightymama]

People who cheat and move on because they want to, are gone. People with issues such as an MLC look back over their shoulder and tug on anchor chains. We don't have to be with someone else if we don't want to, but I don't think that means we have to stop moving on either.

Exactly.  My XH has a girlfriend, possibly live-in, I dunno, but he also sends me some pics of our son at times and then gets very upset when I dont reply back to him. I dont know what he wants me to say, he fired me from being his wife, yet he looks back and seems curious as to what I'm up to, then catches himself and runs off again with Miss Thing who is pretty much like a mini me regarding likes and dislikes and even ethnicity and looks.  Its creepy.  Im moving forward away from the weirdness yet he is distant yet needs the occasional looksee on me to see what Im up to.

[Jackolar12]

Seems like he’s checking his anchor in life is still there for when he wants to return. If he’s high on the Narcissism scale he may be “hoovering” you to see if he still has you wanting him. Or he might be a “cake eater” wanting to keep you both on the hook.
Kind regards
Jack

[gman242]

Or both.. since they are two sides of the same coin. They're still attached for whatever reason and many people pick OPs that are a lot like the LBS. My XWs OM, has the exact same shorts I do and I saw that she sold his grill on facebook for him, the same one I had.. He was in the army and named his dog after a character on futurama. All similar to me..

It just makes you wonder why they'd leave you for a clone. The only thing i can think of is they need the familiarity for stability, but enjoy the lack of history and the same old problems. However, they also aren't getting the good stuff either.. the little jokes, things you do for each other and so on and I think that's why they look back. They miss is and possibly secretly hope you haven't moved on too far.

[Jackolar12]

Yes both I agree is a more comprehensive way to look at it. His perception is skewed at this time he’s making emotional choices but with another but similar person as he still wants the life that he had. He misses the thrills of Limerence and is enjoying the feelings of the serotonin/Adrenalin rush that it brings with the new person. This will wear off over time.

[Whyus]

He misses the thrills of Limerence and is enjoying the feelings of the serotonin/Adrenalin rush that it brings with the new person. This will wear off over time.
Maybe, Maybe not. Even if so some seem to get stuck or trapped with OP, Maybe too proud to admit that it was a mistake and decide to live with the consiquences and make the best of the situation. Thats how it seems with my XW for example. Not that I care anymore, they deserve each other. In 4 years OM can celebrate XWs 50th Birthday at 35! I (46) couldnt imagine being with a 61 year old atm (no offence), it would be as if im with MIL  ... its just all too creepy for a normal brain to understand

[Thunder]

Whyus darling,

I have to stand up for a few of us ladies who married younger men.

Can you honestly look back at your xw and not understand how a younger man could have been attracted to her, or enjoyed her company?
 
To me it's no more creepy than a man with a wife who is years younger than her H.
Just depends on the people.   

[Jackolar12]

Hi Whyus, yes in some cases that’s true the same with mine she’s been with him for around 6-7 years. I haven’t bumped into her since abandonment she knows I’m packing perhaps that’s why. To be honest I wouldn’t waste the bullet on her, but strangulation doesn’t cost anything does it.

Reports from a mutual friend says she’s acting like a teenager would still so I think she’s turned into what I call a zombie criser and will be that way possibly forever.

He’s a cheater too he was married to a lady for 33 years and when I met her she was devastated as much as I was. When she found out she threw him out with his clothes in bin bags and the cheeky fire trucker moved into my family home.

I wasn’t there of course but was paying half the mortgage to keep the roof over my children’s heads. Both being immoral types ones going to slip up in time that’s for sure as mine was the second affair he had been involved with though his poor wife who was a sexual health nurse didn’t know and I didn’t have the heart to tell her. She told me she thought he was having a midlife crisis.
Jack

[gman242]

Age never bothered me. It's more about the personalities than age I think. I only think it's creepy unless age is the only reason you're with someone and I guess it's a fetish at that point lol

[UrsaMajor]

Maybe, Maybe not. Even if so some seem to get stuck or trapped with OP, Maybe too proud to admit that it was a mistake and decide to live with the consiquences and make the best of the situation. Thats how it seems with my XW for example. Not that I care anymore, they deserve each other. In 4 years OM can celebrate XWs 50th Birthday at 35! I (46) couldnt imagine being with a 61 year old atm (no offence), it would be as if im with MIL  ... its just all too creepy for a normal brain to understand

Oh Dude!  You did NOT go there did you?

My mom (soon to be 84 but in better shape than most 70 year olds I know) is married to a man 14 years younger than she is and she keep him on his toes...

It's not the physical age that is an issue for the most part but rather the mental age. Most women will live longer than we will anyway...