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Author Topic: Discussion Split-Topic - How are MLCers who reconcile different than those who do not?

N

Nas

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Hi Whyus, yes in some cases that’s true the same with mine she’s been with him for around 6-7 years. I haven’t bumped into her since abandonment she knows I’m packing perhaps that’s why. To be honest I wouldn’t waste the bullet on her, but strangulation doesn’t cost anything does it.

Reports from a mutual friend says she’s acting like a teenager would still so I think she’s turned into what I call a zombie criser and will be that way possibly forever.

He’s a cheater too he was married to a lady for 33 years and when I met her she was devastated as much as I was. When she found out she threw him out with his clothes in bin bags and the cheeky fire trucker moved into my family home.

I wasn’t there of course but was paying half the mortgage to keep the roof over my children’s heads. Both being immoral types ones going to slip up in time that’s for sure as mine was the second affair he had been involved with though his poor wife who was a sexual health nurse didn’t know and I didn’t have the heart to tell her. She told me she thought he was having a midlife crisis.
Jack

I would group the stuff about the age difference in the same bucket I’d put all the manslaining. And misinformation about “the” menopause. I feel it tells us all something about how some of you view women in general.

Your first paragraph, however, is...well, frankly, disturbing as hell. The fact that you’re packing is the reason she avoids running into you? Why? What reason does she have to think you would use your gun?
Oh right...I guess the “joke” about wasting a bullet but strangulation bring free might be a reason to stay away.
That’s not sarcasm or a joke. It’s plain concerning.
IMO, you have a massive amount of work to do on your anger, your self-esteem, and your views about men and women. What your wife has done and how she lives her life can’t be changed, but you can change the road you’re on.
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« Last Edit: November 14, 2019, 05:05:59 AM by Nas »
The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you shall be free. ~ Margaret Atwood

W
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Sorry for the missunderstanding…. you know what im like by now  ;D

Whyus darling,
I have to stand up for a few of us ladies who married younger men.
Can you honestly look back at your xw and not understand how a younger man could have been attracted to her, or enjoyed her company?
I can imagine, i know what he sees in her. She sure isnt ugly, she is Beautiful BUT nowhere near as Beautiful as she was before she turned into teenmom with a cameltoe
To me it's no more creepy than a man with a wife who is years younger than her H.
Of Course not, I never said that it was :-)
Just depends on the people.   :)

Age never bothered me. It's more about the personalities than age I think. I only think it's creepy unless age is the only reason you're with someone and I guess it's a fetish at that point lol

This is more how I meant it, XW literally brags About having a much younger (new) BF! People tell me this and they just roll their eyes because ist pathetic. Love is surely something else.

UM, yes i went there  ;D, great GIF btw. That wont happen to us though, we drive responsibly. Stay safe  ;)

Nas, n Jacks Defence im sure that he was joking. He is british, People dont carry guns in the UK. Its not the USA though his comments werent funny atall.
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Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. Is tolerated by LaFamiglia
2 Sons - 20 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

N

Nas

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Maybe, Maybe not. Even if so some seem to get stuck or trapped with OP, Maybe too proud to admit that it was a mistake and decide to live with the consiquences and make the best of the situation. Thats how it seems with my XW for example. Not that I care anymore, they deserve each other. In 4 years OM can celebrate XWs 50th Birthday at 35! I (46) couldnt imagine being with a 61 year old atm (no offence), it would be as if im with MIL  :o... its just all too creepy for a normal brain to understand



Oh Dude!  You did NOT go there did you?

My mom (soon to be 84 but in better shape than most 70 year olds I know) is married to a man 14 years younger than she is and she keep him on his toes...

It's not the physical age that is an issue for the most part but rather the mental age. Most women will live longer than we will anyway...


I’m 45 (with cancer, relevant to this point) and the men who have hit on me in the last year have all known I have cancer...and have all bern in their mid 30s.

WhuUs, can’t quite put my finger on it, but if he’s not actually “packing” that seems to make the joke even more disturbing. Given the fixation after 8 years and now “joking” about billets and strangulation...I think it would behoove Jack to start some inner work and embark down a different path. Not because I’m perfect and healed and holier than thou. Just because what I see from his posts is an unhealthy pattern of thought with a singular focus on something he can’t do anything about.
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« Last Edit: November 14, 2019, 05:14:50 AM by Nas »
The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you shall be free. ~ Margaret Atwood

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Jackolar,

Do you want to start a new discussion thread?
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A quote from a recovered MLCer: 
"From my experience if my H had let me go a long time ago, and stop pressuring me, begging, and pleading and just let go I possibly would have experienced my awakening sooner than I did."

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Yes I was joking whyus I love her to bits obviously. NAS you have your opinions of me and I of you I can’t change that but I wish it was different, dwelling on my words and posts is slowly giving me the creeps I’m being stalked, harassed and disparaged by you I wish you would stop this behaviour towards me and my view points and chill out. If you don’t like the way I post don’t read them simples.
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Hi Thunder not at this moment I want to spend what time I have on my other thread as I’m not good at multi tasking but thanks anyway.
Kind regards
Jack
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Jack,

Thunder's "request" wasn't really a request. We need to cap the threads at about 150 posts for purposes of the Forum S/W. If this discussion is to continue, it will need a new thread. Otherwise, we can lock it and it will be archived but the discussion will then end.

And, to be blunt, Nas is questioning your wording and some of your comments just as others would. The Forum is an open discussion board where anyone is free to comment on anyone else's thread as they see fit. Nas is responsible for her comments. She is NOT responsible for YOUR interpretation or your emotional reaction to her comments.... You may choose to request that they refrain from commenting on your threads (perfectly legitimate request) but "stalking?" Are you serious?



UM
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« Last Edit: November 14, 2019, 06:44:36 AM by UrsaMajor »
Me - 61, xW - 54
Together 19 years - Married 17 at separation & 21 at D-Day
S - 17, D - 13
1 Dog
BD#1 - August 2015
Atomic BD - 13 Dec 2015
House sold & separated - Mar 2016
Divorce final 30 August 2019
Moved on in life

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A "friend" will not "stand by you" no matter what you do. That is NOT a friend. That is an enabler. That is an accomplice.
A REAL friend will sit you down and tell you to your face to stop being a firetrucking idiot before you ruin your life and the lives of those around you.

nah

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I would be interested in seeing a discussion thread on MLC and age gap relationships. The women got upset when it was implied that an older woman shouldn’t be with a younger man. However, when I mention the Leaver’s girl is about 25 yrs younger, most people are disgusted. Have the tables of acceptance turned? Why is it so common for MLCers to go much younger?  Do age gap relationships usually last? (Statistics say no)

Why do people cheer when I say I was with much younger men but disgusted when men do the same?

Btw... I dated young but married a guy a year within my age.
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W
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I would be interested in seeing a discussion thread on MLC and age gap relationships. The women got upset when it was implied that an older woman shouldn’t be with a younger man. However, when I mention the Leaver’s girl is about 25 yrs younger, most people are disgusted. Have the tables of acceptance turned? Why is it so common for MLCers to go much younger?  Do age gap relationships usually last? (Statistics say no)

Why do people cheer when I say I was with much younger men but disgusted when men do the same?

Btw... I dated young but married a guy a year within my age.

This!
"Why is it so common for MLCers to go much younger?"...…. especially this! Its all About feelig Young again and still "having it" (with my WX it is, just personal experience).
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Married - 19,5 Years pre BD
Together - 21,5 Years
Me: 46
W: 46 (Acts 25)
BD 1: 10.01.2017
BD 2: 24.02.2017 OM 28 (now 31) Trainings partner. Is tolerated by LaFamiglia
2 Sons - 20 & 21
1 Dogs and a cat.
Own home . Sold!
Divorce Date 21.08.2018
T1  http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=8671.0

N

Nas

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Yes I was joking whyus I love her to bits obviously. NAS you have your opinions of me and I of you I can’t change that but I wish it was different, dwelling on my words and posts is slowly giving me the creeps I’m being stalked, harassed and disparaged by you I wish you would stop this behaviour towards me and my view points and chill out. If you don’t like the way I post don’t read them simples.

If no one steps in to say how vile this post is, I truly don’t see a place for me on this forum anymore.
Accused of stalking a poster for making a few posts in regards to concerning statements?
No, I will not accept silence on this one.
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« Last Edit: November 14, 2019, 06:41:22 AM by Nas »
The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you shall be free. ~ Margaret Atwood

 

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