[xyzcf]

It's a few days before Christmas, like none other.

The brokeness of our family seems more acute as the memories flood our consciousness. The decorations in our home, perhaps because they only come out once a year, remind us of Christmases past.

And then there is COVID and all the restrictions and limitations that go with it.

Today is the shortest day of the year. The longest night and I am pondering this cycle of change. Nothing stays stagnant. Tomorrow the days will start getting a tiny bit longer and the cycles of life continue.

These days will be tough, tougher even than most days for the LBSer and their families. My experience has been that once those tough days are over, the cycle of feeling more at ease will resume..it always does....

In the meantime I look at the gifts that are being given to me as I wait for the birth of Our Saviour.

Sunsets and sunrises, the Christmas lights at night, the cards from friends from long ago, packages from my daughter, the Christmas music that I play throughout the day both in my home and in my car that I sing along to, the friends who are checking in with me because they know I am totally alone (except for my beloved dog).

I often have used the phrase in writing to others here "be gentle with yourself".....you are ok, you are safe and even if you are experiencing more sadness or stress than usual....it will pass.

Have a blessed  week leading up to Christmas....reach out to others when you are feeling lonely...thank goodness for modern technology that allows us to face time and have zoom gatherings! This is yet another "gift"...that we can see one another virtually until the time when we can safely see one another in person again.

[readytofixmyselffirst]

Hello,

Yes,  this is a different year and we are all in a different place.  I am about to get a few things to make pies and peanut brittle. I will deliver them and on Christmas day, we are just planning a quiet day with a small family gathering. No gifts, just good food and spending time together- that's the gift of love.

I was reading on another post and it has really made me ponder.

"This too shall pass."

Depending on how you receive it, it can be a motivational, or a very condescending statement.  The reality is that everything shall pass....the question is what are you going to do during this time? Sometimes, you need to just wait it out, to not pull the trigger. However, even then, you should be putting your time to planning and focusing on your next move. Even when you are still, you are moving.

This Christmas, like all others will pass. The point is how will the time occupy your life? Will you make the best of the situation, or will you mourn the loss?

Well, it is a beautiful day and I have things to do....I hope everyone continues to enjoy their days and celebrate our accomplishments. Be safe and be proactive.

(((((Ready))))

[Standing Strong]

Oh yes Ready........ in my case: Cookies!!!

Bake them up, deliver them tomorrow.

Such a simple thing, but really nice, and really tasty!! HA!

Then, before you know it..... *POOF* it's all over and the shock that it was so quick will set in. Another year to go until Christmas is here again.

-SS

[UrsaMajor]

Seeing as there are lots of newcomers to the site lately and we are getting into the holiday season, I have resurrected this discussion thread because, as those of us who have been here a while (or even better, those like me who got BD's around the holiday) know, this can be a tough stretch to get through....

(Shout out to Nas for the GREAT idea to resurrect this thread!)

[titleholder]

I love love looooove the holiday season and I ain’t planning to let that bastard get me down! I’m planning on decorating the house, watching a zillion Christmas movies, visit friends and family and snuggling up with my D. I can’t wait!

[MadLuv]

Thanksgiving and Christmas the first year is a blur. XH had just left first week of November. None of it seemed real. I wasn’t affected to much as I thought he would come to his senses. 2nd year I did the minimal decorating and just got through the day. It went fine, but was glad it was over. This year!!

I am decorating a lot. Everyone is coming for Xmas and no one for Thanksgiving and I have learned that my fairytale life has changed and I can’t control it and I just appreciate what I have and when my kids can get together. I think it takes a bit to adjust to letting go of what was and and accepting what is .

I will say I have a dog sitter that comes when I go out of town and she messaged me pictures of my dog and noted that she loved my house and Christmas decor and how I put everything together. She said, I didnt want to leave. I feel the same. I walk through my house and I appreciate the twinkling lights and the love of the decor and honestly think to myself…. How sad for my XH that he gave up such a wonderful life, but I am still here and I am going to appreciate it ALL ❤️

[Treasur]

Great idea to resurrect the thread.
I gave myself permission to pretty much ignore Christmas for a couple of years. With the absence of my parents and my h, it was just beyond me. And then I sort of edged up on it slowly, albeit with occasional tears. And now I do it differently, smaller, but with a great sense of gratitude for all the small things I like about it. Like MadLuv, tbh the most helpful thing was to give myself permission to accept that Christmas was different for me now whether I liked it or not and work with that.....

[Nas]

.

[Nas]

Hmm…weird, I wrote a whole post in the middle of the night last night, but I guess it went poof like a lot of other things.

Oh well. Bring on the holidays, I guess…

https://youtu.be/w8HWHd0EYJA

[Zion]

Nas, I was wondering add night with the “.” post! That stinks.

About year 2 I bought the most obnoxious 9” pre-lite artificial tree which goes up the day after Thanksgiving.  I also pay a service to come put my Christmas lights up, which go up before Thanksgiving (gotta enjoy it for the $$$).

I just wanted to appear to be surviving the holidays but 5 years in I am really enjoying the holidays again!