[hopeandfaith]

Update time!!  Geez Louise, have I been busy!!

So...I got a phone call the day after my last post, to invite me to the ground school for the FA job. I accepted.  I then had a nervous wait to see if I could get leave from my current position.  Less than a week before I was due to leave, it was granted.  Ground school started on the 7th of July and went through to the 25th.  We had 2 days off during that time - the rest of the time was spent working our absolute butts off.  We started with 7 girls and ended up with 5.  1 girl pulled out after a week because she couldn't handle the pressure/exams/workload and the other one failed a critical Emergency Procedures exam (twice) 48 hours before the end of the course.  It was brutal, but she was sent home.  She had been the least prepared and got quite distracted by one of the cadets (on D22's course) so she didn't use her study time wisely.  I am so proud of my results.  I worked out that we did over 10 exams and faced over 365 questions and I only got 5 wrong in the whole course.  I never could have dreamed it would go that well.

During that time, D22 and I had some lovely moments together which included a 3 hr flight with her for one of her "solo navigations".  I was her first passenger ever and she did such a good job.  Once in a lifetime opportunity that we were so lucky to get.  My timetable and hers were very hard to align and then the weather was the next factor that had to go right.  It all worked out so perfectly.  So blessed.  I just loved going into the dining hall at lunch and dinner and seeing her walking in with her group.  I have lived this fantastic experience that she is also living and I know exactly where things are and who she is talking about when she tells us things.  Again....blessed.

I got a horrible migraine one day so I shuffled off to bed after my morning exam and spent the rest of the day throwing up.  I even had to put the HR manager on hold to throw up when she called to offer me a start date with the company.  That (start dates being awarded during ground school) rarely happens on ground school so I consider myself very lucky.  That triggered a quick resignation letter to my current employer and also meant that I never went back to work there after the ground school, like I had planned to.  My start date was 6 days after I returned from interstate.

H and D20 handled the house like champions while I was gone.  I came home to a clean house, flowers, chocolates and a new engraved pen  for my new phase of study.  I think he missed me I was honestly too busy to miss anyone or anything and it is the first time that anyone in my family has seen me do something so self focused.  I am so proud of how well H handled it.  I have always wondered if the small boy who likes regular attention would handle it all being about me.  He handled it like a boss.

Line training (flying with a trainer) was the next phase.  That required about 30 flights (sectors) and it was completed last Friday under a very challenging set of circumstances.  There is a theory component that goes for 2.5 hours before your flights (2 sectors) and then an onboard assessment which is super easy to fail.  The minimum length flight is 30 mins because that is the minimum length flight for full service (tea, coffee, bar, snacks etc).  My check happened to be a very busy destination so I had 32 people on that 30 min flight.  Keep in mind that you are strapped in your seat for the first 5 mins and then the last 8 or so mins.  That does not give you very much time to serve 32 people and tidy up etc too. 

And get this.....H was my Captain.  He wasn't supposed to be because he was meant to be interstate doing a check on someone else.  My Captain got pulled off my shift to do something else and H's check got cancelled so he got assigned to my uncrewed flight.  Again..once in a lifetime thing.  I wasn't sure if that would make me more nervous or more comfortable.  I was definitely self conscious doing some of the PA's because I knew he could hear them. 

So much went wrong on the day, including the Flight Attendant seat breaking which then triggered a heap of other procedures and adds a $h!te load to my work load.  The company was still deciding if the check could still go ahead under those conditions while H worked like a duck (calm on the surface and feet paddling madly) to get the aircraft swapped.  This also created load because our fleet has different configurations for different rego's so the flow of the security checks change.  One wants to have visualised the flow on one's aircraft before one's check. One does not want to be working on the fly (scuse the pun) and risk missing something. 

I also didn't have a right security clearance because my trainer was a bit of a flake so we rushed around getting that sorted out too.  That meant that some of my theory questions (drills) were recited while madly dashing through the airport instead of in a quiet little room where I could be in the zone.  It was my choice to do that because the alternative was to have it hanging over my head after the aircraft component of the check....no thanks.  H reckons that it was the quickest trip he has done to that destination in 10 years (because of a tail wind) and he couldn't do anything to alter it, like request a longer approach, because he couldn't play favourites.  He said that he literally winced when he did the descent PA because he knew it was so quick.  I was standing there, teapot in hand, thinking "you're firetrucking kidding me".  That  PA is the signal for me to tidy up and get the cabin secured and that happened like a whirlwind.  Long story short....I passed.  I didn't know it until well into my de-brief because my checker had to count up the nyc's (not yet competent) and you fail if you get 5.  H was pacing the crew room waiting for me. OMG what a bloody relief.  H and I had booked 2 nights away in a city hotel to either celebrate or commiserate so I am glad it wasn't the latter.

We were then able to de-brief about the fact that, in amongst all that chaos before my check, I ran into ow for the first time in the crew room.  Was not expecting that.  Head went elsewhere for a moment but I pulled it back and I think I also handled it like a boss.  She was pretty quiet and thanks to the $h!te going on around me, and the fact that it was 'check day', I was in the spotlight.  H had also seen her earlier in the morning because he flew before my flight too and had really hoped I wouldn't come across her - especially on that day.

It doesn't end there.  I got rostered to fly with her on my first solo day  . For Pete's sake!  Let a girl get a bit of confidence and queeny-ness before you send her into that scenario.  I checked my roster to see who the Captain was and it was a mutual friend of both of ours. Awkward much??  While we were away on the weekend, I noticed that the Captain has been taken off and no new Captain had been assigned.  I mentioned that to H who immediately said "oh firetruck".  It then occurred to me that he was on reserve that day and could quite likely be assigned to that flight.  So picture this.  H and ow behind a locked door that H&F can't get into     H and I talked at length about this and I really felt like he got it.  He was very encouraging and actually helped me prepare for that possibility.  Later on during the weekend, we found out that another good friend of ours was assigned to it instead and H was given another duty.  That duty actually signed on at the same time as me so we were able to arrive at the crew room together which was a lovely little opportunity for support and solidarity.  He handled that well too.  He introduced me to the Captain I was going to be flying with the next day but held off doing any other intro's.  He also helped me get some other security things sorted so I was very grateful for him.

The shift with ow ended up going very well and outsiders would reasonably believe that we are quite good friends, or at the least, a very solid team.  I laughed at a few of her jokes and was generally supportive.  She was warm in return.  There was a bit of an attempt to out sweet me with the passengers but she had no chance because I had been with them for the last hour so they liked me better  . "Delightful" I am, apparently  ;

So, less than a year after I got my phone covered in dog $h!te because I hurled it on the lawn after I came across a picture of her unexpectedly, I am now peacefully working with her.  Who woulda thunk it?

I will say that I have pushed through things I never thought I could achieve on so many levels and the rewards keep coming my way.  The weekend away with H was one of our best ever - if not the best.  He was really happy to talk and is really happy in general.  He said that this ow really just got caught up in the web of his lostness at the time and that she had been the ow to the main ow.  There was quite a bit of beef that happened between them apparently.  H admitted that he still thinks of ow (main one, not this one)from time to time but it continues to fade (thanks for your honesty H  ). He also put his hands up to his head and shook his head when he was reflecting on why he ever went out with her in the first place.

So there you go.  The adventures of H&F  . Looking forward to a bit of quiet time now because its been a heck of a year.

P.S D20 got into her ground school with the company I left and starts her course in November.  We've done a little company swap.  She is staying with my company now until then so I get to work with her a little bit too - like when I have an unaccompanied minor on my flight and I have to hand them off to the customer service officers (D20) at the airport.  Seems fitting giving someone else's kid to my kid to take care of.  Or vice versa, she brings the UM's out to me before their flight.

[Evermore]

Oh H&F you truly are delightful. I am so so happy for you (AND so proud). You are the QUEEN.

[forthetrees]

Wow, Congratulations on this achievement with high scores in such a pressure cooker environment. The incident working with OW seems like the final final exam- you passed with flying colors. Once again the Universe has shown that you cannot make this $hite up.

[UrsaMajor]

So, your D20 is going to bring me out to meet you? And you'll fuss over me on the flight? 

And she is going to go to your old company while you go to her old company?

At this rate, why not just buy 'em both, consolidate and call it H & F Air? 

Seriously though,

Doin It Like a Boss!

[MadLuv]

Wow H&F I am speechless and I will leave it there!!!

[FaithWalker]

What an update H&F.  Stellar job at all of it!

[hopeandfaith]

Thought I would post an update as I have thought about doing it a few times lately.

Had a little dip last week and it took me back to a place that I realise I haven't been since May.  I thought I could feel H pulling away.  I think I started looking for behaviour to match my narrative and I did find little things that fit.  I started monkey braining about whether or not it was just in my head or whether I was picking up a change in temperature from H.  I then started monkey braining about what to do about it.... talk to him or wait it out and watch. 

Pre-crisis, I used to always talk to H when something bothered me. However, it was always something that he was doing differently/wrong and I was always schooling him on what I thought. I was pretty controlling really.  It was fear based.  I suppose most control behaviour is.  Learning to stop that was one of the hardest skills to learn during our separation.  It was one of the best things I learned though, and totally appropriate for that state of our relationship.  I noticed that it gave H back control and although he had a habit of taking the long way around, he tended to choose a healthy course of action.  Some things just did not need my opinion and they sorted themselves out with the passing of time.

Now, I question whether or not holding back is the right course of action.  I still feel the impulse to go to H in a more reactive way and seek the quick fix of H's comforting words but still fear that it would backfire and I would hear a truth I wouldn't want to hear or just get the "I haven't really thought about it" response that I used to get.  It doesn't seem the healthy path for the relationship I want though. I ended up speaking to H, but waited for an opening rather than planning a chat.  I swear that he used to be able to feel those coming 

H and I managed to have a quick night away when he joined me on one of my rostered overnights.  It was just what the Dr ordered because we have been ships passing in the night lately and haven't had much time together.  We were cuddling and H said he was so happy (which is not unusual now). I told him that I had really needed to hear that because I had been struggling for a little while.  I didn't go into detail about all my little reasons for thinking so because I felt like that might have come across as attacking a little. I focused on the overall message that he was still happy.  He was more than happy to expand on that and reassure me.  He then apologised for not having picked up on it and told me to let him know whenever I feel like that.  That was nice I tell ya.  It takes a while to feel comfortable sharing MY feelings without feeling like its just rubbing his nose in what he did.  He wasn't disappointed that I felt like that...he was just ready to do what he could to help me through it.

The thing is, I do think he has been struggling lately and he did have an overnight in the town where he and ow conducted most of their relationship and where she currently lives.  I am pretty sure he was triggered.  I said that I wasn't sure if my feelings were based on what I was picking up from him or totally manufactured by me.  I added that I accepted that his healing process would not occur in a straight line and that I imagined that he would be triggered at times too.  He said that he is not "triggered" anymore but he does still think about her from time to time.  I confessed that I wasn't sure if I wanted to know about that or not but that I definitely do want him to talk to me if he starts struggling.  He turned that around on me and told me that he wants me to do the same...touche'

What I have just realised is, that the last 2 times I felt the pull away, he had just had new complaints lodged against him by that nutcase stalker person.  His impulse was always to drink and reach for ow so I think that is the impulse he now fights.  Happily, I can say that the latest complaint was a bit of a full stop to the whole ordeal.  Stalker person had contacted CASA again and claimed that H drinks heavily the evening before duty.  The investigator did try to call H a few times but didn't leave a message to call her back.  She always used to do that, so H chose not to ring her.  She ended up emailing him as a courtesy to say that they had received another complaint but it was clear that it was vexatious and they would not be investigating it.  She encouraged H to contact her if he had made any progress on identifying who it was. 

He was planning to call her back and explain that I have now joined the company so that might have upset whoever was trying to take him down.  When you think about it, it's pretty much the opposite outcome of what this person wanted.  Also, the fact that the company has hired me is a nice confirmation that the company supports H (maybe I am over thinking that). I am not sure if he has made that call yet because he suffers PTSD like reactions whenever he sees her number (or emails) so I wouldn't be surprised if he is putting it off.  When he first got the email, it took him a while to stop shaking and process that this was a good thing.  Now, there is a visible end to the process because CASA have now put in writing that they will not be investigating these type of claims in the future.  I am really glad they have done that because I had worried that his contact would leave and a new employee might come in with fresh vigour and decide they wanted to investigate it.

On the work front, I have now had 2 overnight duties with ow.  From the outside you would still think we are good friends.  We are very outwardly kind to each other which is nice.  There is an amusing feeling that whatever tone I set, she tries to one up it.  If the conversation is intelligent, she ups the ante.  If there is banter with the passengers, she ups the ante.  She is quite funny and is no doubt very intelligent.  She is also quite beautiful (there I said it ). The benefit of being this close to someone who DOES NOT look like an affair down in any way is that it allows me to see the weakness.  There is no ease in her system.  Friendships don't come easily.  D22 was so astute when she said that ow wears a type of Edgar suit that gets ripped off at the end of each day as she flops on the couch to take a huge drag on her cigarette.  That just conjures a visual that really nails it.  I would almost feel sorry for her if she wasn't too smart for it not to be manipulative.  I don't know if that makes any sense but it's the vibe I get.

Funnily enough, her sweetness has been put into question because she, along with 2 other female pilots, have made a complaint to the company about another male pilot.  He is a guy that H and I consider a friend.  He is super direct and does not suffer fools but the things they have alleged, including racism etc just don't seem true.  He claims that none of it is and asked H to write him a personal reference.  H agreed, having been his boss for a quite a long time and also having been in the unenviable position of having an allegation levelled at him.  His reference was professional, short and very well written.  These 3 females have now put targets on their back because a few males don't feel safe working with them anymore.  I low-key hope that ow finds out that H wrote a letter of support for this guy.  It was kinda nice to see some of her true colours that H was slow to see get a lil bit brighter 

Ow and one of the other female complaintants (who I instantly don't trust on meeting) were in the crew room the other day.  I hadn't met the other one before but did the whole "nice to put a face to the name" intro and awkward chat about knowing of each other etc but she just cut straight to "everyone knows who you are".  If I am not mistaken, it sounded a little menacing or threatened??  That also amused me.

I am not sure what type of person people must have thought I was but they are getting an answer to that question now that I am floating around and making my mark.  I also got a kick out of one of the other flight attendants coming in and quizzing me on a charter that I had been assigned earlier. It was basically a bunch of rich people hiring the entire aircraft and getting schmoozed with all the goodies.  One of the other FA's had been assigned the duty by operations but our local FA Dept took her off the duty and put me on it ....awkward .  The FA I was talking to about it is not known for holding back her thoughts and when I said that I wasn't sure why the other FA had been taken off it and I had been put on it, she said "I do  ". Note: the other FA is not the company's best product.  I was very honoured that they chose me to do it over her. I was also pleased that this had all been discussed in front of ow and the other female pilot.

D20's manager occupies an office space in the crew room and has very little to do with me but told D20 that I bring a very good energy into the space when I come in.  She also said that I also lift the energy of the room when I do.  That felt so good to hear.  H is so very proud of how well I am doing and got to see me in action the other day when he came on my overnight.  It was so good having him in the cabin.  I may or may not have pointed out that it is a federal requirement that he follows crew instructions at all times 

This dip I mentioned earlier was a good opportunity to re-visit some respond v's react skills (to my own feelings) learned along the way and turn away from the impulse to make H the cause of all my feelings.  I am very grateful to be here and alongside someone who still seems to be travelling in a direction that bodes well for our relationship.  A gifted friend of mine predicted over a year ago that my life (mostly work) would go off in a very different direction that was exciting and all about me.  She said that it was coming at a time when I could put down the 'project' that was my relationship and turn the focus back to me.  She wasn't wrong 

[MadLuv]

So interesting H&F. I don’t know how you handle the interactions with the OW, but you are doing it like a pro. Pure class!!

[Evermore]

Thanks for your update here H&F. I always find it weird to write to you here when we are friends in real life as well (it feels a bit weird).

So I wasn't going to comment here because I was thinking 'She'll fill me in when we meet up next week and we can talk it through then'. But then I thought 'You know what, we probably won't actually (well not in this detail), so I'm glad to have read the details here'. And I thought it was worth noting here that that's a thing that has changed (at least for me and I think for you as well).

When I'm by myself (say driving in my car or something) I still often have things that I desperately feel like I need to talk to someone about. Things/feelings/questions about 'all this' that bubble up and I feel like I desperately need to 'get them out of my head!'. I always think at the time 'When I see SIL1 or talk with H&F I will talk to them about this!!!' and in the past I used to. ALL THE TIME. Now though I find that when I'm with the people I used to talk to (OK, dump on I guess  ) I rarely have an urge any more to bring any of it up. I live completely in the moment and just enjoy the conversation/whatever we're doing.

It sounds like such a little thing, a little shift. But I don't think it is. It feels like good progress.

So anyway, dear H&F, I will see you next week and we will chat over dinner and bubbles and we will celebrate our progress. 
 

[hopeandfaith]

Time for an update I think.  I often think of doing one but then time passes and now I have to try and shorten the things I would have shared 

On the whole, life is awesome.  I was at the gym today and the instructor told us to imagine what has really pissed us off while doing jabs and uppercuts.  The only thing I could come up with was the guy who made me overfill his teacup yesterday which meant that I ran out of tea and had to make a new pot for 1 passenger.  He then didn't finish it.  I visualised tipping it over his head  .  Can anyone say "first world problems"? How much of a non-problem is that?? 

Having said that, I think anyone who has been through this MLC life requires bigger things to go wrong before they are labelled problems these days.  My parents are both being tested for Alzheimers at the moment but I already know the result will be positive (or negative??) for my mum. She is not coping with her progressing health changes and is in a quite aggressive denial.  This, obviously, is a big problem.  It is one we will have limited control over and will have to step through with as much love and understanding as so many others have had to do.

I am still loving my job and feeling like I can't believe I get paid for it.  Yesterday we had 5 American celebrities amongst our passengers who were flying to a remote outback town to film a new Fox show called "Stars on Mars".  They were a mixed bag but no one had an especially big ego.  There were some  paparazzi at our arrival port so they disembarked last and with as much cover as we could find them (out come the old Covid masks).  There was a news reporter and his cameraman booked on the flight back to our base who saw the commotion and harassed me on the flight home for the manifest - which he didn't get. Such a random experience that I had no forewarning of so they really got no extra special attention or treatment from me.  Mind you, that's always top shelf 

D21 has now resigned from her job as Cabin Crew with Virgin and has been welcomed with open arms back to our company.  She wasn't coping with being away so much and with the inflexibility that the Virgin crews are currently experiencing.  She will be working back in check-in/airport operations with our company which means that there are now 4 of us working for the same company.  D23 is currently back at the training academy doing her ground school for her role as a First Officer (based in our city).  There has been so much movement in the aviation industry since covid that this basing, which looked so unlikely before, is now available. 

We have done some renovations at home now that we know D23 will be living at home for a few more years while she pays off a cadet loan.  D21's boyfriend has moved in so we moved them to an unused lounge room which now gives D23 an extra room to study, sew and just spread out.  It really feels like we're sharing the house with adults now, rather than having the kids at home.  Most tasks are shared and I am not depended on to make the whole thing work.

Recently, H and I had annual leave.  We thought we only had 2 weeks but were surprised to see an extra week off on our latest roster.  The company is pretty short on pilots at the moment so he planned to do some casual work which is always very lucrative.  One of the other bases is particularly short-staffed so they asked him if he would consider going to the other side of the country for a week if they paid for me to go as well  . The perks of working for the same company hey??  Because I didn't have anything planned, and because this house runs just fine without me, I was able to say yes.  We had a great apartment in the middle of the city and a car hired for us.  H ended up working quite a bit which included a couple of overnights out of that base which he only agreed to if I could jump seat along too.

One of his duties was rostered with a female pilot who he'd had a little bit of history with.  He'd basically flirted with her on an overnight there about 4 years ago and she had developed a fancy for him.  He ended up having to shut that down so its pretty awkward when he sees her - which has only been once since.  Its a reasonably big base so I actually laughed when he told me that he'd been rostered to fly with her.  I asked him if that changed his thoughts on me jump-seating but he said no.  So there we were, a happy little threesome strapped to the flight deck for several hours over a couple of days.  She was actually quite a sweetie.  Never shoulda got tangled up with the mess that was my H back then but she has got herself a boyfriend now and it was all very friendly and easy between us. Can I just say though...THE GHOSTS NEVER GO AWAY.  If only they knew that while they are out there where the buses don't run.  Not that it would make much difference I don't think.

S19 has finally got some wind beneath his wings.  Last year was action packed for the rest of us but he was limping along trying to find a job and make some money.  The few opportunities he got were all duds and he was starting to get depressed.  His gf cheated on him too.  He was devastated. They are still together which we are not too impressed about but it is his journey to take.  It was pretty hard to travel along side him during that time.  H has obviously been the cheater so was very careful with what he said (and mostly didn't say) and I wondered if the example I have set has backfired for him.  I pointed out some of the differences but at the end of the day, the message I hoped he got from me was that I trusted him to do what he needed to do, when he needed to do it.  We have since been on a big family holiday together so that experience didn't drive a wedge between her and us so big that S19 felt uncomfortable bringing her.  In fact, he was having the best time until she got back in contact with the guy she cheated on him with while we were away.  Mamma had to sit on her hands to save from strangling her  .  Still, S19 doesn't even know that we know.  Our focus is him and it worked better for him to think we didn't know.

Just prior to that holiday, a friend of his suicided.  I don't need to explain how much that hits anyone hard.  He found out on a day that he was due to have a meeting with a guy to organise some mentoring/work experience.  Seemed like something he could have put off but he decided to go and honour what he thought his friend would have wanted him to do.  Balled his eyes out all the way there and back while on the phone to me.  I was soo unbelievably proud.  The meeting went well and the work experience set up.  That has now turned into the most beautiful relationship for S19 who has finally found his 'tribe'.  He has always had a wisdom way beyond his years and ideas that are so big they seem a little pipe dream-ish.  Not anymore. Everything he has learned and everything he wants to do is understood by his mentor and he has now starting paying S19 for his work and helping him get qualifications in real estate.  Those two, are gonna do big things.  His mentor is already doing big things and their personalities fit like a glove.  Honestly, the relief of seeing someone actually speak S's language and validate his knowledge and ideas is immense.  H and I couldn't be happier.  Here's the kicker...the mentor is H's ex housemate from when he moved out.  He never would have met him if it wasn't for his crisis.  To me, I feel like I am rewarded every time I am brave enough to step toward anything that I could have easily cut off out of fear and hurt.  I have a job I love because I was prepared to work with one of the ow's and my son has an opportunity that is pretty darn rare because "we" are still friends with the couple H lived with. Go me!

How's H you may be wondering?  He is on another non-drinking challenge which means that he hasn't yet mastered the art of moderation.  I honestly would be very surprised if he ever did because I believe he has a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol.  The last 6 months have been constant holidays or events for us so he hasn't been able to detox easily.  He has even gone up a size.  I got pretty over it by the time he started this last challenge even though I couldn't really tell you anything he does that causes that. Don't get me wrong, he is as annoying as the next drunk person but he's never abusive and I no longer feel like cheating is a temptation either.  That just seems done.  I hope they are not famous last words hey?  Its just an overall lack of access to H's true self that I get really tired of.  It's like having an annoying overseas guest in the house who keeps missing their flight home so you have to keep putting life on hold.  I did notice slightly darker opinions being shared during this period so I think he was definitely going fast down a slippery slope that scared even him.

The week before we went on our much anticipated family holiday to the most idyllic place ever, I wondered if I would get through it without us having a huge fight.  I never really harass him about his drinking but subtly make changes and pull back when he does.  I could feel the resentment and fear building but still decided not to say "if you do this while we are away, I will be ....fill in the blanks.."  He hates being told what to do and definitely used to rebel against it.  Anyhoo, day 1 of the holiday comes around and he's not looking for me to drive to our accommodation later in the day like I thought he might have been so he could have a beer.  The next day, we got up and went and did exercise before having a lovely breakfast.  I think he knew I would have lost my $h!te if he'd been a beer hunting machine while we were away.  Instead, it was a really nice and healthy holiday.  He was proud of himself too.  He did say that during the week before the holiday, he had wondered if he'd ever find his way back (to looking after himself). 

The last time we went to the this place was early 2020 when H had not quite moved back home but came on the holiday that I had organised with the kids regardless.  It was so interesting to go to the places we'd already been and be reminded of the H I holidayed with then.  I thought he was pretty good at the time but there was definitely more sullen teenager peeking through and times where I remembered that the last time I had been there, I'd been annoyed at H.  We call it 'tipping things up the right way' when we can go to a place and rewrite a negative history more positively.  In 2 weeks, we will be going to the city that most of H's relationship was conducted in and staying at the hotel where the rendezvous took place.  That will be a huge tipping of things the right way and a little bit of marking my territory too.  H was going to take me there a couple of years ago on Mothers Day because that date/day was a significant start to this crisis years ago.  His trip got cancelled.  This year, we are going for D23's ground school graduation which also happens to be Mother's Day weekend.  Last year, Mother's Day was the day I decided to apply for my current job so it marked the start of a very beautiful journey for me and a very positive re-writing of more history.  You never know, at this rate, I might actually end up liking Mother's Day....who knew?

Moral of the whole dang story.  Hang in there until you can re-write your own history