[readytofixmyselffirst]

Hello,

So good to hear from you and I always enjoy hearing about your marathons since as my doctor stated, "I gave you enough knee to run out of the building if it is on fire."

Please let me know how you like Dublin. I am planning on a trip there and want to know the highlights. You really helped me out with my trip to NYC and I look forward to hearing about your next adventure.

Keep posting and moving forward. You are doing really well.

Happy New Year,

(((Ready)))

[forthetrees]

Looks like Dublin on the horizon will keep you training- that´s the double-edged future marathon entry ticket for ya.

Please do post a celebratory note when CS is done and any surplus is refunded. Then, let the next chapter truly begin.

What a frickin´ long journey you´ve had- longer than any marathon and way more grueling AND... you don´t even get a medal or ribbon at the end. You will hopefully get your certificate of completion for having participated.

May 2026 bring you a healed foot.

[UrsaMajor]

I was in Dublin a few years ago but NOT for running a marathon (unless you want to call singing 4 concerts, including an Evensong mass at St. Stephens Cathedral with a choir in 3 days a marathon) and enjoyed it a lot. Dublin is a beautiful city.

As for the CS, you are almost there..... You've been there, done that, got the T-Shirt and didn't even get a kiss out of the deal.... but, there is a light at the end of the tunnel which is NOT, in this case, an oncoming MLC train.....

[FaithWalker]

Nice to come on and read an update from you Watcher.  The CS is almost done!  The marathon's are inspiring, and sounds like great sights to see along the way as well.  Ireland is on my bucket list.

[Watcher]

Hi Ready, FTT, UrsaMajor, FaithWalker.

So my BD was in July 2015. I joined the forum in January 2016 and somewhere along the way I befriended a woman on the forum. We were both married and standing. She knows the exact moment. Not I.

We would PM each other still anonymously and I gave her support as she began divorce proceedings in her situation. We fastly became friends and I always made her laugh. We eventually knew each other's first names but that was all.

In April 2017 I was working in Virginia Beach and we exchanged phone numbers to make things easier. Well after a couple of 3 hour phone calls with her I chose text messaging.

Her divorce became final somewhere in 2017 so she was on a different path than me. I was still in an abusive marriage and would be for sometime.

In April 2018 my therapist had encouraged me to meet her. I had been talking about her for awhile. So I made arrangements to see this forum woman. Neither one of us had any clue what the other looked like.

I had a long drive, got stuck behind the largest tractor I had ever seen in my life, and missed her house by a few miles before she redirected me.

I pulled up to her driveway and there she stood in hi heels, jeans, a Metallica t shirt and 1980"s rocker hair. I said to myself, WTF are you doing here Watcher before I took a leap and exited the car.

It was her birthday weekend so I took her out to dinner. I was crazy nervous and I know she was herself. I have subsequently met 2 other forum people in RL and there is also just a normalcy and calmness when doing so.

Of course I met her son, daughter and parents immediately and ran into her x. I mean way to apply the pressure immediately.

We floated in and out of each other's lives at times throughout 2018 and 2019 which were horrible years for me. We both could get mad reading the others thread.

I am pretty sure she was seeing someone and part of me hoped her x would come back or she would find a bf. I know she really liked me and she was really upset that I kept going back to my abusive situation.

So we took breaks. Sometimes 3-4 months with no contact. I carried that stigma of still being married/not divorced. How could I see her again I always thought.

Sometimes she would show back up via a text and I told God many times, "I told you I don't want this one". Well God had other ideas.

So in March 2019 I was in Minnesota for a concert and I no longer had her number because we both deleted them since we were not on speaking terms for 4 months.

So I had to PM her and ask her for her number again. I mean PM's are great but they can be the Pony Express if one is not on line.

She was there for me throughout my divorce. Once I filed I felt more comfortable seeing her again a few times more before the Pandemic hit.

By now I met her entire family. She had strong feelings for me and I really didn't know what I was doing. She was the woman whom I was talking to. There was no one else.

Honestly I never thought we would work because of the distance. I remember in 2021 she texted me and said we had now known each other 5 years and I froze. I was at a Luke Combs concert so that became the Luke Combs moment because I felt pressure.

We were really good friends and she was in love. OMG. We had only seen each other 5 times over 4 years. I really couldn't offer her more because I was getting beaten up in divorce.

So in 2022 we were in her sisters backyard and she said, Watcher, I really like you, however I would like to see you more than once a year. I said to myself jokingly, oh wow you are real demanding.

So I know she was getting tired and I made an effort to see her more. She always marks this as our official start time and it's a bone of contention for me currently because I thought we were already together but I never said anything. I just thought she knew.

I do have a hard time reconciling those first 4 years because we just see them differently. She didn't know what I wanted and she wasn't waiting for me so those are murky years especially for me. A little hard for me at the moment to wrap my head around with certain issues of that timeframe

Well we know each other 10 years now and no pressure this time but I have been feeling cold feet in other areas but we have been talking about it.

We have an incredible time together. We thoroughly enjoy each other's company. We laugh. I drag her everywhere. Concerts, marathons, museums etc... She drags me everywhere.

She said I can out her, but I'm not going to out her. If I say where she drags me then most likely it will out her, lol.

So I did have a happy ending. Not the way I imagined it when first joining the forum but I wouldn't change the path I was on. I landed a wonderful woman and I am very fortunate to have her in my life. There is no one else I would rather enjoy spending time with on our adventures.

[Watcher]

Well she is vehemently denying ever owning a Metallica t shirt and says I must have been in some other woman's driveway.

I know on paper it looked like I was going back to my xw in 2018 and 2019. In reality I knew what was going to happen. I was going to lose my son's and that's exactly what ended up happening. So I really went back for their sake and I failed to save them.

That is a hole in my heart that cannot be repaired. I haven't seen nor heard from them since 2021 and 2022 respectively. She shut it down when my custody rights expired.

CS did finally end in March without much fanfare and I have no clue if either one ever finished college. I was never asked for tuition money. Meanwhile I really have no clue where they live.

Meanwhile the bill collectors have started to swirl this summer looking for her.

So this forum woman and I had a difficult 2018-2022. I always pushed her away. I really didn't trust women anymore. LOL, I trusted Thunder. She was the only one. OMG I could talk to her everyday all day long. I really love Thunder. Always have.

I was really scared to get into a relationship with this forum woman meanwhile we never had a problem with communication. We had been talking since 2016.

So I needed her to be the pursuer. I was never going to pursue. A woman could have fallen out of a tree and landed on me and I may have still not noticed.

So when she said she wanted to be in a relationship with me back in May 2022 I was ready to try with her. I have seen her every month since and our time together has always ranged between 4-12 days at a time.

Yes I use all my work leave on her and it can be an expense travel wise but she is so worth it.

Its not really ideal but we live far apart. At least 5+ hours. I finally have gotten tired of the distance and told her I will begin to file paperwork at work to transfer towards her. We will be 1 hour and 30 minutes apart which is much better.

I want to spend more time with her so that is my impetus. I miss her terribly on the weekends. I love taking her out and spending time with her on our adventures.

She knows I have a lot of regret about 2018-2022. I never told her how I felt. Logically I know there was nothing more I could do. I had to end the marriage and go through the nasty divorce process and it just took time unfortunately.

We did have plans in 2020 but the pandemic shut us down. Meanwhile I spent 2021 with my sons because that's the only year I had any custody.

I could never stand that time word. Never did. We were talking about it last night and I think the distance did help us though. I could not imagine actually living in her proximity and going through this divorce process. It would have been maddening.

I felt compelled to meet her in April 2018 and now I am feeling compelled to finally move towards her. We are both very excited and a bit impatient now as it will take some time to get it approved at work.

[Watcher]

She will kill me for sharing this story but I don't care. A lot of people behind the scenes on the forum and in real life thought she was nuts for holding out hope for me but no one knew my motivations regarding this forum woman.

Again we got along great as friends for 2 years and I was extremely flirty with her lol. I took a chance for the 11th time in November 2018 to go back home and attempt to salvage anything and it lasted 27 days before I was kicked out for the 11th time.

Yes the forum woman was hurt and she was tired of seeing me on this vicious cycle as were other members of the forum. So we stopped talking and she began seeing someone and I had to eat humble pie for months because I certainly couldn't bother her now since she was having fun.

I tried again April/May 2019 and was thrown out again the night before our son's graduation and I was devastated. I called several people that night standing in my dark backyard at like 2 in the morning. I had no one answer and I never felt so alone.

The next morning forum woman reached out to me and she stayed with me the entire graduation just texting me. I never would have made it through the ceremony without her.

So a week passed and my x immediately hit me with a court order so I took that as a declaration of war and I filed for divorce finally. Maybe 2 years too late.

Meanwhile all along forum woman was really ticking me off with her posts. I had enough of eating humble pie and who she was seeing and also how every man in the world was drawn to her like a magnet 🧲 bla bla bla.....

So one night I went out with my coworkers to a Dierks Bentley concert and was plied with a vodka lemonade in one hand and a jack and coke in the other all night long. I remember the last song from that night. Everything else was a blur.

So the next day forum woman says I was very inappropriate with her that night via text and I said well what did I say. She repeated what I had said and I replied, oh that's exactly what I want to do to you, lol.

I know she was seeing someone but she was still talking to me 

So it continued with her seeing this guy and I had enough finally. I wanted to see her again and I was like WTF are you going to do to get her attention Watcher. I work out and know I look good so I didn't fight fair. After I filed I sent forum woman a full size nude photo of myself 😂.

She was shocked and asked why I had sent it. I simply replied I was reintroducing myself to her and btw I am now available, lol.

So I placed all the pressure on her shoulders. I put my nude cards on the table  . Her choice.

It took us time to navigate getting to know each other in 2019, then the pandemic hit in 2020 ,which really extended into 2021, and I also had custody finally in 2021.

So that's why I could not really see her from 2018 thru 2021.

Finally we chose each other in 2022. A firetrucking long journey for that forum woman and me but I give her all the credit for always having hope