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Author Topic: My Story Rebuilding My Beloved has passed away

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My Story Rebuilding My Beloved has passed away
OP: December 23, 2025, 05:14:44 PM
Today was my Beloved husband’s funeral. I was going to carefully write about "us" but have decided to just let it out as it flows on the page.

I was a stander, for 16 1/2 years.  We were married for 32 years before BD in 2009. My beliefs about the sacrament and permanency of marriage come from my earliest childhood teachings. Vows we made before God, could never ever be broken.

I am also convinced that MLC is a real thing and that the man I knew and loved changed completely 16 1/2 years ago.

I have often encouraged people not to write their spouse out of their lives completely. He would spend time with us, as a family..I did everything I could to preserve our family.

He became ill 6 months ago, came home and I took care of him….we resolved so much and indeed, a few weeks ago he asked me if I would ever consider marrying him again..I smiled…explained gently that according to the Catholic Church, we always have been married…for we did not have our marriage annulled and the Church does not recognize a civil divorce, and neither of us remarried others.

And, in my heart, the bond that we share had never been broken.

There is much much more, but I have always been very private and protective of our love. And although our stories here are all different, there are also so many similarities.

Hero’s spouse, and the friends I made here helped me so much for many years, to be able to talk to others who were experiencing the same thing, heard the same words, this  had somehow allowed me to heal.

I thank RCR, Heartsblessings, Stayed, Dontgivup, Trusting, Limitless, Old Pilot, Voyager, Theheartknows , hearttoheart, Calamity, Baxster1, readytofixmyself and so many many others for all the time they took to help me along the way.

I am and have been well, healed, content, living a very good life. I will grieve deeply for this man I have always loved….and be grateful for all the good years that we had together and the realization that no matter how far away he strayed, I was always close to his heart as he was to mine. Rest in peace, forever loved, xyzcf
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« Last Edit: December 24, 2025, 09:26:03 AM by xyzcf »
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

"You enrich my life and are a source of joy and consolation to me. But if I lose you, I will not, I must not spend the rest of my life in unhappiness."

" The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it". Flannery O'Connor

https://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/chapter-contents.html

B
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Re: My Beloved has passed away
#1: December 23, 2025, 06:06:12 PM
XY,

Im so sorry for your loss. There is never a good time to lose a loved one but at this time of year it must be especially hard for you and the family.
Thank you for help in my stand, you’ve definitely helped me get this far.
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BD 3/23
Standing
D Final 12/25
Me-49
W-47
S-17
S-20

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My Beloved has passed away
#2: December 23, 2025, 07:08:42 PM
Oh no... I'm sorry. I'm absolutely stunned to hear. I can only imagine what you must be feeling. I'll be thinking of you in the coming days. Sorry for your loss.
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It's just this, for a while.

J
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My Beloved has passed away
#3: December 23, 2025, 07:56:49 PM
I'm so sorry to hear that... You have been a huge help to so many of us. <hugs>
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Everything has a beginning and an end. Life is just a cycle of starts and stops. They're ends we don't desire, but they're inevitable and we have to face them. That's what being human is all about.  -Jet Black, Cowboy Bebop

N

Nas

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My Beloved has passed away
#4: December 23, 2025, 10:42:41 PM
I’m truly sorry for this loss for you, your daughter and family.
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The desire to be loved is the last illusion. Give it up and you shall be free. ~ Margaret Atwood

L

LC

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My Beloved has passed away
#5: December 23, 2025, 11:37:48 PM
I an so sorry for your loss.  It seems that although you and your Beloved seemed far apart, he was always near, even when it might not have felt like it at the time.  Your Stand was a good one and it had a good resolution, IMHO. 

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T
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My Beloved has passed away
#6: December 24, 2025, 03:26:46 AM
Hi, xy,

I'm very sorry for your loss, your unshakeable conviction has always been inspirational.

T&L
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B
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My Beloved has passed away
#7: December 24, 2025, 05:06:30 AM
XY,

I’m so sorry to hear this news. I’m glad you 2 got to spend his last days together.

Much love B x
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m
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Re: My Beloved has passed away
#8: December 24, 2025, 05:43:47 AM
I also am sorry to hear about your loss, and your husband was very lucky to have someone like you who gave him the grace despite his actions, specially in his final days. That is indeed a very special and rare gift. I also hope despite the difficult situation you got a chance to find something in these last days to offer more peace and calm about what happened.

I hope you try to focus on yourself a bit now as it is very likely things will come up after the funeral.
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« Last Edit: December 24, 2025, 05:45:21 AM by marvin4242 »
No Kids, 23 years at BD1 (4 years), married 21
First signs of MLC Jan '15
BD 1 Jan '17, BD 2 Mar, Separated Apr, BD 3 May,BD 4 Jun '18
First Sign of Waking up-Dec '17, First Cycle out of MLC Mar '18-Jun ‘18, Second cycle Jul '18-??
Meets OM Jan '17 and acts "in love," admits "in love" Jun '18, asks for divorce Jul '18, no change since, keeps "not leaving"

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My Beloved has passed away
#9: December 24, 2025, 06:17:43 AM
Like others, I am so very sorry for your and your daughter’s loss. You are both in all of our thoughts and prayers.
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T: 18  M: 12 (at BD) No kids.
H diagnosed with severe depression Oct 15. BD May 16. OW since April 16, maybe earlier. Silent vanisher mostly.
Divorced April 18. XH married ow 6 weeks later.


"Option A is not available so I need to kick the s**t out of Option B" Sheryl Sandberg

 

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