[OldPilot]

From the articles this is the definition of a Boomerang, if you have one or would like to discuss do it here.

Boomerang
This MLCer stays in contact--sometimes because you have children, but not always and often the children provide a convenient excuse. The contact may be Monster spew, it may be clingy and seeking reassurance, it may be cake-eating, but even when it seems they will just go away, they bounces back.


EDIT:
Link back to contact types to register your MLC type
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=1530.0
Oldpilot

[wondering]

I have a Boomerang although I'm not sure about the clinging type. We have no children so there is no excuses to come back. He has come and gone for a year now. Currently mostly lives here but doesn't come home 2-3 times a week. Seems more like a cake eater. Doesn't know what he wants, affair over but heavy in Replay behavior. Afraid to recommit and afraid to give me up. I never get monster. I have the oldest MLC er on this board (he will be 65 in a few weeks). He is surfing, skydiving and bar hopping. After initial avoidance of everyone he knew, he has reconnected to almost everyone but only partially me. It's difficult and challenging to detach.

[LearningIamOk]

Is there a subspecies that could be called an SCB (Severely Confused Boomerang). My H does initiate contact. He shows up unannounced for brief periods of time. He has timed several of the visits where he thought I would be here, but alas, I was out GALing. He was here today while I was out with my best friend. Soooo happy I wasn't here.

He does work around the house, sits and talks with the kids, fixes himself something to eat. He told me at one point he wanted to work on the marriage, but he has yet to come up with any ideas or movement in that direction. He has shown care and concern for the family, most recently with Hurricane Irene. He will text. I don't initiate contact and I certainly do not sit around waiting for him to show up.

He has me utterly confused as to what he is thinking. He seems to want to be here and then just leaves with no contact initiated for a few days at a clip. I get so frustrated trying to read his patterns of behavior. I do not fixate on him, but I am still giving him too much head space.

[Dontgiveup]

I am divorced, but have a Boomerang.  About the time of divorce, I made the decision to let her initiate all contact.  She has done that.  It's been just over a year since the divorce and the only times I've contacted her have been to respond to her.

The longest time I can remember we have gone without contact is about 3 weeks.  There have also been times when I have heard from her mutiple times in one week.

I don't pursue and don't spend as much time thinking about what she might be up to as I used to.  She's in Replay (or Escape and Avoidance).

[Moving Forward]

I am divorced from my MLCer but he is a boomerang - he is in touch at least every week abut one thing or another - some of it is important and some of it isn't.

He contacts me mainly by text but if it's anything 'very important' I'll get a verbose and normally quite pompous email.

When I see him he cannot look me in the eye - he looked absolutely dreadful when I saw him last Weds or Thursday - really bloated and his eyes were dead and heavy. Shark eyes is still in the vicinity so I know how to behave with him.

His energy levels have dropped - I saw them rise in early July when he received a tranch of money as part of the divorce settlement but he has since gone back to being very dark again - money spent and now living the reality of his choices would be my guess but I have no idea.....

He displays a great deal of confusion over very simple things - he owes me half of £220 for our children's school shoes etc and he texted me that he didn't have £220 until next week. I only need £110!

He is hiding from me I think - not really in touch with the chidlren - he and his new wife are buying a house in the village where I work (dead opposite where his Dad lives) - well I think she is buying the house as his name is still on the mortgage of our matrimonial home where me and my children live and I cannot imagine him getting a mortgage right now - if I listen to my intuition it feels like he's under pressure but again I have no way of confirming this. He would never have considered living opposite his Dad and stpe Mother in his old life.....the weirdness continues.

So yes, I think I have a Boomerang and by my reckoning the rumblings of this started back in late 2000 and he's been boomeranging (is there such a verb??!!) ever since I have just realised.

P
x

[Stillpraying]

I really believe mine would be a vanisher if it weren't for the kids.  Monster spew unless I am very careful what we communicate about.  Still walking on egg shells!
I think once the property settlement is finalised I would never hear from him again if we had no kids.

[ladybird]

I really believe mine would be a vanisher if it weren't for the kids.  Monster spew unless I am very careful what we communicate about.  Still walking on egg shells!
I think once the property settlement is finalised I would never hear from him again if we had no kids.

SP-I feel the same way about my H.  He would be a total Vanisher if not for our S.  I get a lot of Monster spew from my H too.  I think he is more of an Off and On and not a Boomerang because he has to force himself to have anything to do with me-even a phone call.  He told me he hated me a couple of times and now I'm starting to believe it.  I think H feels guilty about our S but not enough to take our S out on his days off.  It's a holiday weekend here and you would think he would call up to take his S to do something-even take him for a bike ride or something!  Instead, we have not heard from him for going on 3 days now.

[stayingthecourse]

I also have a boomerang.  I think he would be a vanisher if it weren't for the kids.  When he left he never, ever initiated contact of any kind - not with me or the kids.  He does contact more often - maybe once a week - by text and only about kids or bills.  I no longer get monster spew but this may be because we do not talk about anything personal.  The last few times we did have arguments, he acted like we had never had them the next time I saw him. Now I just stay quiet and let him choose the path of the conversation.

[Dontgiveup]

From the article

"often the children provide a convenient excuse."

[crazyforhim]

I have a CB but for some reason I never got monster- if I didn't respond to him he would put on the charm and make sure I wasn't mad at him