[kikki]

I agree WGH - what sort of a crazy person would think this was normal? 
What sort of a person hasn't had any interaction with their 'boyfriends' kids after a year and a half of living with them?
What does the OW's family make of it?  Are they as crazy as she is ? Probably.....

I heard through the grapevine that OW's sister said the it's so hard for OW and my H, as I just can't 'let go'.
Poor things!  My heart goes out to her ........  I just didn't hand 24 years, a business, property and my kids and H all over to her on a plate?
And what's more - if a man doesn't want to be financially tied to his wife - he can choose not to be himself.  I can't control that.  She is nuts!

[Rookie13]

Speaking of kids, my two boys are with me this weekend and they are small, only 8 and 5. S8 tells me they get scared at night sometimes and crawl in bed with "mom". Of course OM is there to.

My freak'n ex is so retarded and has only known OM for less than 3 months and is comfortable with this.

Yeah, You can imagine what I want to do to the both of them. SELFISH and only think about themselves. Probably a little damage going on there to the little ones!

Protect your little ones the best you can. I was only able to get physical custody of D19 and S16 meaning they live here. AHHHH the shame!

[Anjae]

Speaking of kids, my two boys are with me this weekend and they are small, only 8 and 5. S8 tells me they get scared at night sometimes and crawl in bed with "mom". Of course OM is there to.

My freak'n ex is so retarded and has only known OM for less than 3 months and is comfortable with this.

Everytime I read what some of you, with children, mention the crazy things your spouses do to the kids, or tht affect the kids, I think "Anne, he had done really bad things, but he does not put your kids into stupid situations". Also, I always remind myself that women who are mothers do have MLC and go nuts!

[kikki]

Rookie - that is so sad.  I am kind of grateful my kids are all teenagers - my H hasn't ever pushed anything legally with the younger two thank goodness.
I've often thought this would be an even worse scenario if the boys were still young.
My heart goes out to you all.

[Dontgiveup]

From New Beginnings
"So I have to think that not all these relationships are bad.  They have been together for just over a year and living together since March 1st of this year, plus she was staying at our apt. with him since Dec..  I don't know, I am just so confused.  I try not to think about them like we are supposed to, I try and believe what I read on here about these relationships, but I just don't see their relationship as being bad.  I think they are happy."


From RCR's article Woman Scorned Part II
The relationship needs to come to a place where from a distance it may seem secure and where the alienator herself feels she is winning and can thus let down her guard. If you trust the process of MLC and that infidelity does not yield secure relationships, you will not be fooled, but many are easily fooled. Have faith in the process.

[Anjae]

NB, I second what DGU put here from RCR articles. My husband spend around 1.5 year on the open with OW1 and everyone around them would say "it is a match made in heaven".

He is been with OW2 for over 3 years, living together for at least 2. From the outside, just like with OW1, it looks solid as a rock. But...It is not. OW1 was very jealous and husband was always going for coffee and talking with other women, OW2 is very controling.

It may take him to be divorced but OW2 will end up showing her true colours. She already have, he just did not notice, so wrap up in his ego he his.

[Rookie13]

Thanks DGU, My mind says she's an idiot. But after this long I know my job with the little ones and that is to reassure them and praise them for just being good boys. I give them ( I hope) enough normalcy to see them through this.

Having the teenagers is much easier as they understand their mother is not right and will not visit her "shack". My ex recently had tried to push S16 to "hang out with them and he said "NO Thanks" D19 loves her "old Mom but is disgusted by this one.

D19 bday was the 17th and is at school in GA and still has not received a card, gift anything from "mom" yet. Just a Happy bday on FB!

I just cannot sometimes still believe even after over 3 years that the ex still behaves with no conscience. no shame. no feelings. mind boggling although I know she is deeply "gone". I do remind her of her behaviors at times, deaf ears though!

I truly think this is one girl who would be better off NOT waking up from this crisis.

[Synicca]

My D decided after the second and LAST visit she had with her dad....that she was not going to be anywhere near OW again, and she said that if he had brought her back to Cali, he would lose her forever....she would never come to visit him again.

I told him this right after he went to NY...and he was crushed. Oh well, should have thought about that sooner... I am glad that OW and her S wont be coming here now... Miracles DO happen...

[Dontgiveup]

Rookie

"I just cannot sometimes still believe even after over 3 years that the ex still behaves with no conscience. no shame. no feelings. mind boggling although I know she is deeply "gone"."

I understand your frustration being at 3+ years.  I'm only at 2, but my good friend is at 3.5 years with his ex-wife's MLC.  Truth is, 3 years is the short side of the time process for making it through MLC.

[Anjae]

Truth is, 3 years is the short side of the time process for making it through MLC.

OK, and what is the long time to make it through MLC? 10 years? Forever?...I'm on year 6 of this thing and see no sigh of the end of replay, let alone MLC...