[kikki]

Well thank you - that finally shed some light on that puzzling statement for me 

I think you've hit the nail on the head - for months following BD he'd come round, shaking his head, saying how beautiful I was, but that this wasn't about that 

As he had no clue what it actually was about - it's a wonder that he was able to articulate that much - LOL

[Mamma Bear]

  KiKI It is so wonderful we have each other to help through this. It makes no sense except in the context of DGU pulling articles out to remind us we're stuck in a blender on puree.   or grate or chop   When we tell each other the crap that is coming out of their mouths we sound so strange. Only bc we get it.
   At BD my said "Give it a couple weeks we can be friends."
   Who in their right mind talks that way to their spouse and partner for 15 years?
   Taking furniture you think is yours?  Blaming me if the Ds cry over anything. "Well you were probably telling them I'd be back."   How someone who is so arrogant and ignorant can still have such a loyal and forgiving spouse is beyond me.
  Doormat? No I'm going to start playing whack a mole with him as soon as the dopamine from infatuation wears off.
   

[With Gods Help!]

Hey Mamma you might be on to something there.........when i was doing my nursing degree my h said he thought i would leave him for a Doctor lol...........maybe i should have done before he run off with skankho...........i wonder if he would have stood for me lol and Mama my h said the same as your h we could be friends once id got used to the idea he was gone he also said me and o/w would have made great friends under different circumstances i said never i don't hang around with home wrecking owrs so you can get that out of your warped brain..........i also said and don't introduce that bitach to my kids cos if you do i will be up at her house causing holy sh*t.........and guess what he didn't...he wont even let his FOO meet her lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[kikki]

I agree - I am so grateful on a daily basis for you all.  I truly don't know how those wonderful pioneers managed (RCR, Stayed, HB) on their own - they were a bit like Sir Edmund Hillary only MINUS Sherpa Tensing Norgay!!!

'Give it a couple of weeks - we can be friends' LOL  That makes it all okay then.  You must be feeling so relieved 
I can just imagine the cosy family dinners around your table - you and your H, your gorgeous girls, oh and of course BOWSER!   

[Mamma Bear]

  My Ds just told me Hs stuff is in one section of the apt and hers is separate in another area.   I love when my kids talk with food in their mouth and these memories from yesterday come out. These kids should work for the Enquirer. They get more dirt and gossip on this broken desperate phoney fantasy fueled love affair then Kitty Kelly could ever have.   Whose thread am I hijacking now?

[kikki]

Their own halves of the apartment!!! That's actually really interesting from an anthropological perspective! 
My H (21 mths post BD), beginning to awaken oh so slowly - told me the other day that he has made it very clear to OW that she will never be tied to him financially.  He proudly told me they each buy their own groceries, (think student flat) and that they even buy their own cups of coffee when out. 
Romantic?  Not ......

We then all went out the next day, and I bought him a cup of coffee - I was trying not to giggle at the picture of these two selfish, screwed up people going about their lives - kind of together.  But not!

[With Gods Help!]

Hey kiki stranger things have happened my MIL is best friends with her deceased h's o/w from yrs ago...he died at the age 37 but produced an affair child..........the child was 18 months old when he died....but MIL eventually came round to the idea and they had him every other weekend........so when her h died she continued to have her h's son because she wanted to keep the bond with her kids and she had grown to love him.............but let me tell you o/w went through hell with my MIL..she told me about the time she found out he was having a MLC affair......remember back then there were technology like now.....she climbed in to boot of her h's car.....pulled down the boot door but stopped it from closing so she could climb out when they reached o/w's house anyway...she said the car came to a standstill she waited til her h got out and walked to the door.........she listened for him to go in then went to climb out..........only the boot door had closed and she couldnt get out.........she had to wait in there hours til her h came out.........she said she began knocking and shouting and her h heard her but decided to leave her in there for a bit as punishment.......she said i was rigid by the time he let her out.......i was howling can you imagine her face when he opened it and his.........she put herself through that and didnt get o/w address she did manage a few wks later though.....she said she went round and knocked on her door but o/w wouldn't answer.........however o/w didn't lock her door so mil marched straight in  and o/w didn't even raise her head.....so mil picked up a metal poker put it through her television and said you screw my freaking husband and you cant even look at me you ignorant owr..she said now the telly cant distract you now look at me..........she asked o/w alsorts of questions.........o/w tried to deny it at first til mil spotted a suit jacket of her h's there.........he was a smart man and always wore suits.....mil stormed upstairs found some more suits in the wardrobe she took them out brought them down on the hangers hung them on the washing line and cut off the arm and sleeves i swear if it was happening to her now she would be locked up thank god they didn't have mobiles back then.........mil ripped out the phone line so o/w couldn't ring her h at work or the police and guess what her h didnt say anything .........this is why although mil is friends with her h's o/w..........she will never welcome my h's o/w in her house because shes been where i am xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

[kikki]

That is a fantastic story WGH - I would so love to do this - but of course, we've all read our LBS scripts - so we'll keep it in our fantasy boxes!!

What a gutsy woman your MIL is.  And to be friends with the OW - wow!  That child is a lucky kid 

[Synicca]

The more I read about BPD, the more I am convinced Honey's OW has this!

my BFF has bypolar disorder and she says that BPD can be confused with bypolarism...but that they are so simular
one is "chemical" and the other is "environmental"

A BPD person has major "abandonement" issues and therefor, learn at a very young age how to manipulate anyone in their path to
get what they want. They will sabotage their R's intentionally and then "beg" for forgiveness when they feel their partner distance
themselves from them.

Very telling...mix that with someone in MLC and you have a whirlwind of chaos!

[Mamma Bear]

Synn, Remember that Blog Love anyway article about Clingy Boomerangs?  RCR says she thinks that Clingy Boomerangs attract or are attracted to people with BPD.  Bowser has this I'm sure.
  Heck the first time and the only time she saw my Ds she told them her Dad abandoned her.     So it's OK then?  Right?  Remind me of my unconditionals quick I'm gonna call her something besides Bowser.............That confused woman who is sleeping with my H and pretending they are meant to be together forever!!!!!!!!!