Skip to main content
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 7  All   Go Down

Author Topic: Discussion Mental Health/Physicians and MLC

  • *
  • MLCer Type: Vanisher
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 3730
  • Gender: Female
Discussion Re: Physicians and MLC
#10: January 24, 2012, 07:25:23 PM
I went to a joint appt. to h´s PCP and she was willing to write a scrip for a CT scan and a psych appt. based on the input- which included "drastic personality change" and a very distraught me and a very quiet and withdrawn h.
  • Logged
me 51
H 51
M 27
BD 1/15/ 10 then BD 8/21/10
D final 8/13
F
  • ****
  • Sr. Member
  • Posts: 311
  • Gender: Female
Re: Physicians and MLC
#11: January 24, 2012, 09:47:37 PM
I just saw my doctor yesterday.  I mentioned my stress level due to a divorce and he asked a few questions, asked my H's age and then said "midlife crisis?".  He said it can be a very difficult time for some men and asked if he's dating 20 year olds with an eye roll.  He also asked my daughter's ages and when I said 17 and 14, he said "oh, he's a dead man for leaving their mom and hurting the most important person in their lives" - meaning he's lost them.  He sat with me and told me my biggest challenge won't be financial, it will be all the self questioning I will do.  Why didn't I see this coming?  Why couldn't I know what kind of person he really was?  How can I make sure I don't choose another loser? etc.  He was kind and validating.

We didn't linger on MLC, but he did mention it immediately.  I went in for some routine bloodwork not expecting a mini counseling session.  :)
  • Logged
M-43
H-42
Married 20 years
BD May 2009
D filed June 2011
Ugly court battle is underway :(
D14 & D17
u
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 839
  • Gender: Female
Re: Physicians and MLC
#12: January 24, 2012, 09:53:54 PM
forthetrees, if you can still talk with her I would have her check thyroid and testosterone levels as well.  Most docs don't think to check testosterone levels but it definitely factors into depression.
  • Logged
m

missybuddha

Re: Physicians and MLC
#13: January 25, 2012, 12:01:36 AM
When I went to my GP to arrange IC she commented on the fact that men do that, leave their families in their 40's so my guess is she's seen her fair share of destruction due to MLC.
  • Logged
B
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2227
  • Gender: Female
Re: Physicians and MLC
#14: January 25, 2012, 07:51:14 AM
H and I have the same GP and usually schedule back to back appointments.
My H did not tell the GP he was having an MLC but asked for a testosterone test and told him that he was not sleeping well at all.  GP prescribed low grade anti depressants.

A few minutes later, in my appointment, I told the GP about H's MLC...he just said "hmmm....".

Glad to hear at least some are aware.
  • Logged
"I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me."
Mark Twain
S
  • *
  • MLCer Type: Low-Energy
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2528
  • Gender: Female
Re: Physicians and MLC
#15: January 25, 2012, 08:45:06 AM
The first (female) lawyer I consulted with had gone through her own MLC. She could tell me almost verbatim what my H had said, as she had said them to her own spouse. She said she went for a period of time (2-3 years) believing that she did not want her spouse, he never listened to her, they had completely different interests, etc, etc.. She said that even though they had a young child, she couldn't seem to tear herself a way from wanting "her turn".

In the end, she said the both turned to their faith to bring them back together. Now, they lead marriage seminars as couple and fully disclose their own weaknesses in the process.

  • Logged
H43, M44
M 22 years
T  23 years
3 Kids
Crisis began 4/08
Divorced 2/13
I
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 1960
  • Gender: Female
Re: Physicians and MLC
#16: January 25, 2012, 09:02:11 AM
He sat with me and told me my biggest challenge won't be financial, it will be all the self questioning I will do.  Why didn't I see this coming?  Why couldn't I know what kind of person he really was?  How can I make sure I don't choose another loser? etc.  He was kind and validating.

Well Faith tell you DR you don't think you'd have to worry about picking someone else who is MLC. The signs should all be there. They can't fake it for long. Maybe dead giveaways would be appearance and whatever words come out of thier mouths. They all have the same script.

Trust me; you would know.  ::)
  • Logged
Is it ego or spirit that governs us to question the answers; or answer the questions?
W
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 2443
  • Gender: Female
  • VICTORY
Re: Physicians and MLC
#17: January 25, 2012, 10:09:59 AM
Interesting thread-  Great topic!
  • Logged
"Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City.  For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great.  You have no power over me."
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 926
  • Gender: Male
Re: Physicians and MLC
#18: January 25, 2012, 10:15:49 AM
My STBX and I also share the same GP, I mentioned MLC to him, and he seems completely ignorant.

He said my STBX looked fine, and hormone levels are fine.  He asked isn't that something that happens to men in their 50s?  Your W is too young at 42.  If she doesn't love you it's because she is having an affair. 

He said my BP is high, and I must be stressed and depressed, and prescribed me some ADs.

I am still surprised after a year that this is somewhat common...  I spoke to two men at work who recently got divorced, and both indicate that their x had MLC.  Both are in their 40s.  My Brother In Law is divorced from his ex, also was in her 40s...  said the same thing.

Either way, no matter how common, most people are not aware, and think I must be a horrible spouse.
  • Logged
BD 12/2010
Divorced 2/2012
Married 1997
Together since 1989
c
  • *****
  • Hero Member
  • Posts: 6770
  • Gender: Female
Re: Physicians and MLC
#19: September 23, 2012, 07:17:09 AM
Just came across this when looking for something else.  My doctor just rolled her eyes & said, oh you mean he's been lying for 20 years?
  • Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 ... 7  All   Go Up
 

Legal Disclaimer

The information contained within The Hero's Spouse website family (www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com, http://theherosspouse.com and associated subdomains), (collectively 'website') is provided as general information and is not intended to be a substitute for professional legal, medical or mental health advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. The Hero's Spouse cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a trained medical or mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others. The Hero's Spouse recommends that you consult a legal professional for specific legal advice.

Any information, stories, examples, articles, or testimonials on this website do not constitute a guarantee, or prediction regarding the outcome of an individual situation. Reading and/or posting at this website does not constitute a professional relationship between you and the website author, volunteer moderators or mentors or other community members. The moderators and mentors are peer-volunteers, and not functioning in a professional capacity and are therefore offering support and advice based solely upon their own experience and not upon legal, medical, or mental health training.