[angelgirl]

my two cents:

My H is an MD and thinks what he went through should be a subcategory of it's own under "depression". When he refers to himself (in replay i guess) he says, "oh that was when I was mentally ill." But he does now believe it's something to be recognized and treated, but he doesn't have the benefit or the knowledge that we've learned here. he mostly looks for scientific reasons for it.  So far he's identified it in two of his colleagues, but frankly he's not sure how to speak to them let alone offer advice on treatment. He's finding them to be stubborn lot.

Faith: my girls were 13 and 16.5 when it happened. H does have a tough time relating to teenage girls' dramas and hormones. (but that's just one of a hundred things he had trouble with);

asking for tests: I did, and the OBGYN was shocked at H's behavior (he'd known him for years) but was non-judgmental. The awkward part was the nurse drawing the blood. She knew H but she didn't ask why i was doing it. I was embarrassed thinking she'd gossip now and figure it out. It wasn't until a year later that an old friend of mine, an OB, said that when the women asked it was usually because they'd strayed out of their marriage (or at least that's what they confessed to him). So now i'm thinking that old nurse is thinking I was the one stepping out. Sheesh.

I wonder if it ever gets classified, if there will be insurance coverage???

angelgirl

[Anjae]

I also think hobo's doctor wouldn't have been clued in to changes in neurotransmitters or emotional issues, so that's where general physicians alone would be lost in making a diagnosis.  Psychiatry comes the closest - but how many of them seek that?  So frustrating.

Yes, most GP’s don’t know much about changes in neurotransmitters or emotional issues. Some psychiatrists know about both, some only about the emotional/psychological issues. Neurologists are excellent with the changes in neurotransmitters and all brain concerned things but are not trained to attend to people emotional or psychological issues.

Some GP’s and psychiatrists do request thyroid and hormonal tests but not all. Think MLC would require a multidisciplinary medical team.

My H is an MD and thinks what he went through should be a subcategory of it's own under "depression". When he refers to himself (in replay i guess) he says, "oh that was when I was mentally ill." But he does now believe it's something to be recognized and treated, but he doesn't have the benefit or the knowledge that we've learned here. he mostly looks for scientific reasons for it. 

Angelgirl, what scientific reasons is your husband look for to explain MLC? He says he was mentally ill, does he sees MLC like a mental ilness, even if a temporary one?

[toughtimes]

Really interesting thread thanks everyone. Next time I speak to gp I'm gonna ask!

[angelgirl]

AnneJ: I notice that H sees MLC as a "major depressive episode". He believes that it is a function of physiological changes brought on my age, change in hormones and extreme stress. He's often asked why it afflicts some and not others. He has stopped his thinking at "some people are more prone to it than others". If i try to explain what i've learned, i think he tunes me out. We, on this forum, have learned that there are so many other factors of course which include issues in childhood, failure to cope, misguided paths, dependent personalities, turning away/lack of Spiritual Center and others that may be specific to the person. I said to my H, let's just say "it was the perfect Storm".

When he was in the worst of it, I fantasized that there would be a rehab just for this. But my H said that while someone is going through it, getting them to see they are dis-eased will be a challenge. You can't ask for help if you don't know you need it. H said he convinced himself that the answer to his despair was in Replay and all that went with it. Somehow (God only knows) he realized it wasn't working. After he came home he took some anti-depressants for a short period of time. He said he could recognize how his "brain" was getting back to normal. "the connections are normal now...I don't know how to explain it..." He no longer takes anything but he is progressing well.

Unfortunately he never investigated it in general, but he's developing a "radar" at spotting it in others.  But beyond that, he is more focused on his health and our family. Maybe one day he will resume his investigation of it; it would be interesting.

angelgirl

rebuilding

[Anjae]

Thank you, Angelgirl. My line of though is more similar to your husband’s one than the general view in the board. I think a major factor is brain chemical imbalance, imbalanced neurotransmitters. Neurotransmitters imbalance provoke depression and other mental illness, like bipolarity.

But I don’t think that just an imbalance in the neurotransmitters will bring on a MLC. Something else had to be added to it. Age, or fear of aging (my husband was paranoid with age and he was only 36) can be one of those things. Or a emotional shock. In a person that already has deficient neurotransmitters, it can the perfect storm.

I’m not big on the childhood issues or dependent personalities line of thought. There may be some of that, of course but alone it would not be enough. Despite that I like Jung’s theory and his approach on self, shadow, rebirth. But Jung had a major depression before WWI and his thoughts on what we call MLC mainly come from that situation.

Guess sometimes the same happens with addicts, it is hard for them, while in the middle of it, to recognise something is wrong. Some know and want out but don’t manage it. Makes sense the antidepressants made your husband brain get back to normal, they work upon the neurotransmitters and help balance their levels. If the neurotransmitters levels are balanced the brain is levelled, therefore working normally. Since he is no longer engaging on Replay behaviour he most likely no longer need the meds.

Hope your husband keeps being focused on his health and family. That is what all our MLCers should be doing.

Hugs, A

[Ready2Transform]

I’m not big on the childhood issues or dependent personalities line of thought. There may be some of that, of course but alone it would not be enough. Despite that I like Jung’s theory and his approach on self, shadow, rebirth. But Jung had a major depression before WWI and his thoughts on what we call MLC mainly come from that situation.

I'm of the same mind.  Extremely low serotonin will cause a person's mind to seek out horrific or traumatic memories or images, and this is where I think some of those latent issues come to the forefront.  Ultimately, this is for the good - things that probably would have laid dormant and been underlying problems get dealt with and healed once and for all, as chemicals balance and the brain is able to sort them out in a logical way.  It's the chicken-or-the-egg thing, and for me, I think the chemical imbalance comes first.  But that's only speculation, as I'm no professional.  I can't deny though that there is something to the very literal stages emotionally - if there were a pill that would cure MLC, I don't think it would give a person a fair shot at really becoming whole. 

[underpressure]

i think there is truth to thoughts creating illness. I think it's mind-body, not Mind/Body.

[angelgirl]

Low Serotonin is a big contributing factor in my H's crisis. He'd suffered from seasonal depression for years. My D18 also. In fact, i traced her migraine issues to low serotonin as well. But how we cope with stress is often learned at home. Although I've yet to discover the big childhood "issue" in my H's past, one thing is for certain, his own father could only convey "love' if the child was productive. For example, my H, as a little boy wanted to play in the school band and came home with the biggest brass instrument he could find. It was bigger than him! His father immediately called him "stupid" for doing so. Later his father said that he called him that because the instrument was a bad choice and he was worried about him. (But he never said it that way) That's not how my H took it. This was only one instance of many. His father routinely criticized him thinking it was 'good' for him.

When H was grown, he withdrew from pursuing a specialty in medicine. Specialties bring in more income. We are married at the time and I said I supported whatever career he wanted. Why pursue something you'll be miserable in? Over the phone, his father said, "i wasted my money on you!" inferring that all the education he paid for was for nothing because my H wasn't going for a more lucrative path.  His father, despite his morbid obesity, also made fun other people's looks; calling them "old" and "fat". My H has been concerned with that for years. But the worse thing was that his father and mother never really taught him how to cope. H often looks for distractions and escapes. So when depression sets in, he looks to gamble, eat, sports or run someplace sunny. These are temporary fixes. So between the genetic disposition for low serotonin and a poor foundation in childhood, H's depressions were doomed to lead to MLC.

H is dependent on others to pull him of depression as well. when i "failed" to distract him, he turned to a fantasized version of OW. In fact, his old distractions of eating, gambling and sports also "failed" him he complained. He refused to take the usual SSRI's that helped his out of his SAD, and relied heavily on his fantasy life. Today, my H would agree whole-heartedly that back then, his brain neurotransmitters were out of whack, and his close family and friends asked many times if he may be bipolar.

H admits that when he's "bored" the anxiety and depression creep in. He says he needs to stay active. This isn't boredom to me; it's the old "distraction" technique. My D18 also suffers from SAD, and takes a low dose SSRI in the winter. When she is distracted by events she looks and sounds happy. Then she comes home to study and waves of sadness take over. "I hate to be alone with my thoughts," she says. The good news is that she recognizes that is not an outside stimulus causing this, but her internal chemical imbalance. Some natural supplements have also helped her.

Many, many years ago, my sister went through her H's MLC. Only she had no idea that's what it was. By the time they had agreed for him to rebuild at home (they are still together BTW), she insisted that he have a brain scan. He did have a full medical workup, but the scan never happened. I would be curious to see if anything showed up!!!!

angelgirl
rebuilding

[Ready2Transform]

The father/son dynamic and fantasy distractions resonate SO much with my H's sitch, angelgirl.  It gives me hope, because there are times when I think this may run so deep that he'll never tunnel out.  It's good to see someone did AND has an awareness about it.

UP, I'm trying to reconcile the mind-body thing within all of this, too, because I do believe that as well.  I think I know in our sitch how that correlates.  But again, it's sort of chicken-or-the-egg, and this one I'm not as clear about.  Stuff to think on...

[underpressure]

H admits that when he's "bored" the anxiety and depression creep in. He says he needs to stay active. This isn't boredom to me; it's the old "distraction" technique. My D18 also suffers from SAD, and takes a low dose SSRI in the winter. When she is distracted by events she looks and sounds happy. Then she comes home to study and waves of sadness take over. "I hate to be alone with my thoughts," she says. The good news is that she recognizes that is not an outside stimulus causing this, but her internal chemical imbalance. Some natural supplements have also helped her.

Both my Husband and my Father use the 'distraction' technique. My Father refuses to admit to any depression and now is a full-blown (although functional) alcoholic. But he tells the story over and over about how he recognized depression in himself at one point and immediately said "Hey, I am just NOT going to be depressed". Whenever I told him I was depressed he told me to decide not to be. Perhaps this sounds like denial, and there is that too mixed in, but he distracted himself with other things. My husband specifically says "If you feel depressed you need a distraction" and does the exact same thing for himself. Work distracts him mostly, he busies himself at home with his files. He spends hours meandering on the internet while locked up in his hole, and at worst, but quite regularly now, he drinks. Replay is all about denial and distraction. I would lump nostalgia in there too.

Also, my H has serious issues with SAD. He has told me often he wants to live in a sunny place (thus the california thing) and yet he does nothing about moving there, or seriously discussing it with me, and then when he finally does, it's in secret. California is like a secret OW, the seduction of a sunny place to a desolate and dark mind.