[Rollercoasterider]

The Mentor Team has been discussing things we can do to improve the Mentor Program. We are kicking a few ideas around the brainstorm and this thread is one of the best ideas. I don't know how it will evolve and so this will be a test for the first little bit.

Post links to your threads or to information on another thread if they are relevant. If something goes off tangent, we may split those posts away into a Topic thread--nothing wrong with that, it's how some topics get started!
Edit: I think it may also be a good idea if you are responding to Start your post with the Reply # and Display Name from the post to which you are responding. I suggest you include the Display Name because we might come through and clean up unnecessary posts from time-to-tim and the Reply# will then change. If you are posting a new question, say that at the beginning.

So your opening will liook like one of these two things:
Replay# X, Kikki
OR
New Question


It will give an opportunity for you to interact with someone other than your assigned mentor and to  have quick questions asked--maybe like an FAQ. It may also be a good way to let a mentor know that you need attention. The mentors also liked it because they can pop-in quickly and look here to see if any matters are pressing.

I would also like to come up with a better system to match mentors to mentees. Now, though I sometimes notice a fit, I usually go down the list and see who has the fewest mentees and assign that way--not very personal.   So this may or may not help newbies get to know each mentor's style--we will see.

Either way, I'm excited about it!
So ask away...
I may edit this introduction as we tinker with this thread direction.

[WarriorPriestess]

Hi all.  Just to help clarify, the mentors wanted to have a place where new members to the forum, and anyone else with a question, could post and be assured of receiving a response from one or more mentors.  So you can post a question directly here on this thread, or post a link to your own thread if you would like a mentor to visit and comment on your current situation.  And of course others can post here with their own insights as well.  It does sound exciting!  So feel free to jump in here and the mentors will do their best to help you out. 

[keepsmiling]

I think that is a great idea.  Being new I feel like I have so many questions and sometimes there are just too many posts and mine get lost. That being said  I am so lost right now bd was only 6 months ago h goes back and forth between clinging to me and talking about the future to telling me he's in love with ow and it's too painful to be away from her.  I am stuck right now because my kids don't know and I won't let them know until the school year is over. Do I keep letting him know that I know he's still with her and that he's committing adultery,  do I ignore it?  We are still sleeping in the same bed and carry on like a married couple. He's gets upset when I'm distant but I'm am so anxious and don't know what to do or how to respond to him. He's so emotional and cries easily and then I want to protect him (as usual)

  He also wants to sell our house for something more manageable which I don't necessarily disagree with but I'm not sure if this is the right time. We looked at a few houses and he talks like he will be living there but  I'm not sure if he's just looking for something he could afford if he leaves.

EDIT - Answered JA post #3
                            XYZCF post #5  - OldPilot

[justasking]

KS

You are so close to BD that your H is swirling and unsure. Unfortunately as he moves further into the tunnel he will draw farther away from you. At the moment he is making sure you are there but also telling OW he loves her. Look at the info RCR has written about the first part of the journey before BD. I think it will help. My H although he had left, also gave me hope he would come home straight away by cycling fast. He has been gone a while now.

You have to look at what you need t protect yourself. The distance you are struggling to find is to protect yourself. Again read RCR info about how to treat your MLCer. You will find what is the right way forward for you. Your H needs to know you don't accept his adultery. But as hard as it is this should be said calmly and without anger. There will be times when you are able to say it.

At this time you need to look after you. Decide if it is right to move house or stay. What if he didn't move with you and you were left trying to move etc? This has happened many times on the forum. Remember MLCers plan for their future with OW.

XX

[LearningIamOk]

Great idea for the Newbies. I know when I first started here, I would keep hitting the "Show new replies to your posts" button over and over and over, hoping somebody had seen my post.  I usually didn't have too long to wait, but when you're still in shock, every moment seemed like an eternity. Thanks for coming up with an innovative way to catch attention quickly. Kudos to the Mentors.

[xyzcf]

Keepsmiling..I copied your request onto your thread and posted a reply there. We are still in the growing pahses of how this will best work.

[good4me]

Looking for some fresh insight in my situation. Any and all help will be appreciated. I have included a link to my thread below.





http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2214.10

EDIT - Answered by READY on thread. - OldPilot

[crazyforhim]

This may sound silly but I don't have a mentor and if I do I am not sure who it is.
Maybe I could get help with that one
Thanks!

Sorry if off topic...

EDIT - Sent a PM about this - OldPilot

[readytofixmyselffirst]

I think this is a good thread and until we get really sophisticated  and can add a chat line with different mentors available for certain hours of the day or week, it is a good idea.

i know how newbies feel waiting for their first response. You feel so alone and insecure, yet when you get your first response, it is like..."someone actually cares.

Have a good one!

[Stillpraying]

If any mentor has the time, I would mind some insight.  Kind of feel a bit in the dark at present.  I'm feeling more at peace with life as it is but I wonder where H is at?  I know that shouldn't be my focus but it does unnerve me somewhat.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2193.0

EDIT - Answered by limitless Post  #10 - OldPilot