[OldPilot]

Just found this posted by FHO earlier last year.
I don't think this is on this thread yet, if it is correct me and I will change this post.
But another success story.

http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=237.0

[Dontgiveup]

I always think of my friend when I hear the word soulmate.  He uses it sarcastically, since when his ex-wife divorced him, she told him that she was going to be with her soulmate.  As many on this forum know, she married soulmate......and a year and a half later has divorced soulmate.

[BraveNewWorld]

Before I joined this forum, I hung out on another one for a while. A woman posted on that forum almost in desperation. She had left her husband three years before this, got divorced from him and then married another recently divorced man. She had walked away from her own children, who thereafter no longer wanted her in their lives. She had new grandchildren that she had never held. In a private message, this is what she wrote to me:

I read back over your post and wanted to talk with you a little further. I can certainly feel your pain and I am terribly sorry for what you are going through. Has your wife gone to therapy? I can not stress this enough to you about how important this is. I have been where she is at and I am telling you that she does not know who she is anymore, A MLC is a terrible thing to go through and she needs help because trust me when she does come out of it she will not know where she is. Like I said it my first post I am stuck between two worlds right now. Please talk to her and get her into counseling. I wish that my husband had seen that the person that I had become was NOT ME and I needed help.

Please take care of yourself.

L

This woman didn't want to destroy her new family - she had become stepmother to two children. Her ex-husband had 'moved on' - but was not hostile towards her. More than anything she wanted to reconnect with her son. Sad and difficult story.

Some days I am skeptical ... and as time progresses I wonder what was real in my relationship. I understand that I have a very long way to go before I have confidence in myself again. But the messages this woman exchanged with me were the closest I've come to accepting that MLC is real and is beyond the control of the person going through it.

BNW

[Butterfly]

I have a friend I went to high school with, who had MLC. She divorced her h, remarried a younger guy, then divorced him too. She describes herself as foggy and unhappy during that time. Her h was the caregiver to her kids. He started dating too.
When she woke up, ( after two years) she went back and they tried to reconcile.
She moved back to where her h lived with the kids, but then her h changed his mind and went back to the girl he started dating while she was gone. He married her and my friend has never gotten over it. She says she threw away twenty years for a nobody and now she is the one with nothing.
She remains single and struggles to reconcile with her kids as well.

So the LBS does have the last say sometimes.

[Dontgiveup]

Butterfly

I very much agree.  I have not talked directly to someone who is through their MLC experience like you now have, but following my friend's situation has been hugely beneficial.  To read and hear about the correspondence she sends to him.....the sorrow and regret.....is both encouraging and helpful in my own stand.

She has not specifically addressed returning yet, but if I had to guess I think she ultimately will want to.  Her divorce from other man is recent, so she needs some time still.  My friend also wants time to start feeling comfortable with her and rebuilding trust.

[Glimmer]

This is a story I posted on my thread a few months ago. Not a return story but a MLCer with deep regret.

My H was talking to a man and the subject turned to MLC and how this man had suffered a few years ago. He left his wife for his OW and moved in with her. This R lasted a few years. In all this time he couldn't stay away from his wife (who by this time had divorced him).  He told my H that something kept 'drawing' him back to her. In the end his R with OW ended because he could not stop thinking about his ex-wife.  But she had met someone else and re-married, and was no longer interested. 5 Years later this man admitted to my H that he had ruined his life and regretted what he had done. To this day he still finds excuses to visit his ex-wife and now lives alone in a small apartment. He has lost everything, his wife, money, his home.  My H told this man that he feels the same and can't stay away from me and our family.  The man told him to 'get back and sort things before it is too late like it is for him'.   That was a few months ago, and there has been no change yet.

[justasking]

I know a woman who went through MLC, left her H and moved in with OM.

It didn't last but she felt she had done so much damage that she couldn't go home even though he H asked her to. She also feels huge guilt for what she did particularly to her children.

Ironically her H never dated for probably 4 years and has just met someone and moved in with her. The MLCer is gutted and is now going through the same emotional trauma that we went through at BD. She never stopped loving her H. At the moment she is off work and emotionally all over the place. She said she will live with the guilt for the rest of her life.

When my H left she asked if I would have him home. I told her yes. She said that's good, don't shut the door on him, the grass is never greener but we don't realise until it is sometimes to late.

xx

[xyzcf]

I remembered another one...our daughter's friend's parents..separated about 9 months but it came about due to his alcoholism..he received treatment, attends AA and they are back together..there daughter says they are like teenagers in love again.

[Dontgiveup]

I think I posted this in my thread at one point, but would seem to fit here.  Not long after the divorce was final, I talked to my CPA to let him know what happened and to get his advice on anything I needed to do financially.  He asked me what happened.....and I debated with myself how much to tell him.....but I decided to let him know about the MLC.

He said, well, if it helps, I can tell you that I've had four or five clients go through that, and my brother's wife did as well.  He went on to say that, with the exception of one couple, they are all back together.  He said the one couple that is not back together has tried a couple of different times, but so far have not been able to pull it back together.  I asked him what kind of time frames he saw before the other couples got back together.  He said, generally speaking, he saw things take about four years on average.

[Still]

Not sure if anyone remembers, but the first lawyer I met with had gone through an MLC.

She walked away from her H and two kids. Moved in with a much younger man and started the process of buying a house. When I was telling her about my H and some of the things he had said, she said, "Yep, I know exactly how he feels. I just wanted out and didn't care how that happened. I felt nothing."

She stated that one day she realized that what was really important to her was back home. She cancelled the paperwork on the new home and ended the relationship with the OM. She said that she wasn't sure if her H would take her back, but he did and they both decided to bring God back in their lives. She told me that a lot had damage had been done, but she believed that their marriage was going to make it.