I've been continuing to think about all this. MLC seems to be a blanket term to cover a number of behavioural characteristics which may not be connected.
A while back, Thundarr posted a very interesting topic about official views on MLC (see:
http://mlcforum.theherosspouse.com/index.php?topic=2507.15) Ideas suggested were that MLC type behaviour (which itself varies enormously) could result from a variety of causes a brain injury/ neurological disorder, changes in brain chemistry, latent PD, depression, delayed PTSD. Of course, there is always the possibility that some people have an age-related panic or full blown crisis.
Actually, my very nice, supportive therapist always assumed that my H was having some age-related crisis, even when he didn't ever mention aging. He mentioned death, but welcomed it, and he was certainly depressed at some points, but he never seemed to worry about getting old. So in my case, my therapist recognised MLC, even though I never thought it was about age. But it
was a crisis of some sort.
Revisting events, H had two episodes of TGA (transient global amnesia), one before his "MLC" type behaviour, one just after the beginning. He lost his capability to form new memories for 6-8 hours, and kept repeating the same 5 questions (like, "Where are my keys? Where is D21?") I thought at first he was having a stroke, and called one of his doctor colleagues, who took him straight to hospital for a MRI scan, which showed nothing. He never regained his memories of those lost hours, which was very upsetting for him. During both TGAs he was desparately clingy to me, and didn't want me out of his sight. During MLC he seemed to want to lose his dependence on me, as if his independent identity was threatened. He subsequently discovered that
statins are known to cause TGAs, and stopped taking them.
My MIL always thought that his TGAs were the cause of his strange ML behaviour. I always said that his stress (and perfectoinist personality) led to both raised cholesterol levels and burn out syndrome (which includes anhedonia), but that the TGA didn't cause his behaviour. However, statins have inumerous behavioural and phsyical effects, and the long term effects of the TGA caused by statins are unknown. Statins affect short term memory by cutting cholesterol, which in turn cuts the efficiency and formation of synapses, formation of brain cells, and the inegrity of myelin. In other words, long term use of statins can lead to forms of brain damage.
I'm not saying that statins caused my H's MLC, but perhaps they contributed to his confusion, certain loss of memories (thus the rewriting of events), as part of a jigsaw of factors including his personality, lifestyle, and (traumatic) personal history.
Statins don't cause MLC, but medications can be, for some people, another link in the chain leading to a break down in behaviour
The difficulties we face, whatever the causes and effects, are immense, as we all know. Unfortunately, as for many misfortunes, there are not always adequate levels of social support. I know many cases of drug addicts, alcoholics, schizophrenics, etc. where havoc is wreaked on the family. The medical label doesn't protect the families from the consequences of the behaviour of such people. So would a recognised "MLC" label help? Perhaps not. But our understanding of our spouses' behaviours is the most important factor in governing our response.
The strength of this website is that we detach, focus on ourselves and not on our errant spouse. We can have hope, but need to drop expectations. It helps to realise that those who let go more completely may make a better reconnection. We learn to forgive, and perhaps explaining our spouse's behaviour helps us do that. But essentially we need to lose our dependence on them for our happiness, and be whole in ourselves. This is the wisdom of this forum.
How come therapists do not recognise MLC?
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