[MarkedandHealed]

LOL. I'm reading another interesting thread from another site just about the same exact thing. In fact, for a second, I thought you had cross posted.. then realized the thread I'm reading is from 2006.

Yes, some flaunt, and some do not. Mine is hiding it from as many as he can... although he started by telling his friends about "them" but then after I exposed, it's almost like the shame put them back underground.

In fact, OW is my "friend" on FB. I've strongly thought recently about de-friending both her AND H or maybe just her. However, I also know that she reads my blog and so keeping her around helps get her crazy - the more she reads about me and my life, the more jealous she will become, no? It's not like I'm playing games, just doing what I have always done, only now she's F-ing my H. LOL.

PM me if you want me to get you the link to that OW thread on the other board.

Maybe time for us to go back and read the very encouraging words of RCR on this topic? http://www.midlifecrisismarriageadvocate.com/understanding_infidelity-otherwoman.html

[Writingmom]

Ah, Facebook.  What would cheaters do without it?  OW is listed as "in a relationship".  She fails to mention that he is married to me and that she is also still married.  How sweet.  My H "unfriended" me EARLY on.  Strange, but that was one of my first slaps in the face.  Major red flag when your own H won't be your FB friend!

I did not see OW today.  I think that it is strange that he flaunts her also, but seems to have the wherewithall to keep her from direct contact with me.  She has not been to church with him, either.  If he is so proud, why bother?  Yet if he feels guilt, then why be proud?  I don't get it.  I know we're not supposed to focus on them, but knowing that she is in town and that D8 is so happy to be around them...makes me want to barf. 

Last time OW was in town, they saw me walking and circled the block, stopped in parking lot to watch as I chatted with a friend in her car, then circled around again none too subtly before driving away.  WHAT?  Who knows.  I wonder if OWs have sick fascination with us or something?  Weirdos.  Anyway, kudos to you for keeping her in the loop of your life!  Too funny. 

[hurt01]

WM
H OW has listed on her fb in relationship also. And also fails to mention with a married man. These people are really sick.

[Writingmom]

Hurt 01,

Yes, they ARE sick!  Isn't it bizarre to know that someone is proud as a peacock about being in a relationship with a married man??  Makes me want to comment, but I'm not her "friend".  I wouldn't any way.  Just strange.  Sorry.    I  know how you feel. 

And D8 just informed me that H/OW are going to Mexico soon and had to get a passport photo for the new baby.  How STINKIN' sweet!!!!! 

[hurt01]

WM
 My heart truly aches for you. I pray for you every day. I dont know how you do it. I know all this hurts and they dont care. At least so far my S24 has stood his ground with H . God I wish this rollercoaster ride was over. I am sick and want to get off. Tear it down , burn it something. I may never go back to an amusment park. LOL. And I use to love rollercoasters.

[Writingmom]

Just passed H and oldest son in OW's car.   

Now oldest wants to spend the night with them/baby/OW's D.  So much for keeping OW hidden. 

I could just barf. 

[LifeGoesOn]

Re: OW    I wonder how the OW feels about being relegated to the bathroom!

Spouse checks phone on the side trying to be discreet, and runs to the bathroom to call or text.

I lol when my H gets his "reminders" he has to go potty!

I am sure others have seen this too!

Re: exposure. Shortly after i discovered H had moved into motel room w/OW, I sent her an email. It said something like: I know you are involved w/ my H. Please respect our 23 year relationship and our children. We need to repair our M, so please end your contact with him now.

It gave H added respect for me and told him where I stand. She tried to make me all evil about it, but I what I wrote was indisputable and respectful. Definitely put the first chink in her armor (from his pov). (and it was in writing so she couldn't make stuff up.)

I didn't know about MLC then, but it is not something I regret.

[in His hands]

LGO, that was brilliant!  iHh

[HeartsBlessing]

My husband kept his under wraps; but I found out, anyway..it's hilarious how "kewl" they think they are about keeping secrets that get found out regardless of how hard they try to hide them.

The Lord told me where to find her contact information...and you should have seen the look on his face when I spouted it right at him, LOL!!

I first got the look of "How did you know that?"  Then crap hit the fan, as he lied, denied; and dug himself in deeper.

Things got much worse as he was trying to end it..I don't know how she did it, but she somehow got our home phone number, and burned that phone up..wait a minute; back in the day you could get ANYONE's phone number off the internet. LOL!!!!!

He nearly bought the farm, plus all the trimmings; as I nearly got down the gun and shot HIM!  Incidentally, the gun we had disappeared; (not long after OW Discovery) for a little over a year before his brother in law gave it back to him in front of me....I said, "Great, if someone had broken into the house, I would have been looking for a gun that wasn't there!" LOL!!

Girls, I was a mean woman at that time......and a very mad one, as well.

You have to remember that OW/OM is the MLC'er's problem, not yours; and the "true luv" they supposedly feel is NOT love at all....it is some sick attraction between the MLC'er and the object of that attraction.

Neurotics attract neurotics...both parties have problems or they wouldn't be together; as a well balanced sane person wouldn't even THINK of getting involved with a MLC'er.

Years ago, when I was researching affairs and such, as part of my learning; and I don't know if the board is in existence anymore, I found a link to a OW type board where people posted their affair breakups...it was shocking to see the OWs going through the SAME kind of bottoming out the LBS is subjected to.

It was pretty intense.
I read with wide eyes; and got quite an eye opener on that.  I had NOT known they went through these same things....

But, boy, did I learn a great deal from that.

I also remember an OW I actually worked with years ago;(this was before my husband's MLC) who used to come in every Monday without fail, and tell us about her wild weekend with her married man...I tuned it out for the most part, but did ask her one day what the heck she got out of messing around with another woman's husband.  She said she got her bills paid, and a house to live in....said that his wife knew, and didn't care.
I remember thinking; "no, bet she doesn't know anything, but if she did, she'd probably kill you."

One odd thing I also remember was that although she had sex with the man; she said he wasn't very good in bed at all; said she had to "fake him out" most of the time, as he didn't know what he was doing.

Something else, that's for sure.  I dug for a name; don't know what I was thinking, but it seemed to me someone needed to tell his wife what was going on, but she would NEVER tell me his name, nothing about him.

Tell you something else, God forgive me for saying mean things about people; but this OW was as ugly as sin, no kidding...she was as skinny as a rail, had a strident voice, and wasn't attractive in any way that I could see.  Wore alot of makeup, but make up doesn't make up for UGLY as a painted mud fence.

So, it's NOT about looks; it's about meeting needs that are different as the MLC'er is different....I'm not really sure if the man she was seeing was a MLC'er or WAS...doesn't matter...it was WRONG on all counts.

Plus, just sayin', they are USING each other; in the name of "true luv".

[ALJ]

I have never crossed paths with OW knowingly either.  H and OW ran in the same circles and she eventually started working for him in his entertainment company as his secretary.  She is 24 years old and H will be 35 next month.  Something else I also noticed is that for the past 5 years or so, mostly all of H friends has been younger than him.  I don't think he has had any friends his age for awhile.  These friends were reckless, liked to cheat on their significant others, party hardy, etc.

Anyhow, I didn't find out about her being the OW until H actually told me and he had no choice because they had started a clothing line business together. He asked me if I could take pictures of our kids modeling some of the pieces that he had designed, which I did willingly.  Of course, I had no idea that OW was the co-owner of this business and they were helping each other run it.  Well, after H put the website together with the kids pictures that I took modeling H/OW clothing designs, he gave me the website address. When I went to view it, there was H and OW in individual shots of themselves on the front page.  H had his head down and his eyes were covered with his hat.  The OW was posing provacatively with her legs crossed and grinning like a chesire cat.  After I saw that website is when H confessed about the extent of their relationship because of course I was going to question him about why her pic was on his site.  H said he had no choice because she was the co-owner and he couldn't get around not doing it because OW would probably want to know why her pic was not posted on the website.

Funny thing is that I was not too shocked as I had seen H and OW in pictures together with their arms around each other at the promo parties that H previously held.  But then I noticed that there were a lot of shots of OW among the other pics that were took at these parties.  It was like he was obsessed with her.  How could I have been soooo blind about those two because the signs were there.  I never thought H would do something like this and I felt stupid because I never questioned his behavior.